TrustInYourself Posted September 11, 2008 Share Posted September 11, 2008 And a double dong. Link to post Share on other sites
PWSX3 Posted September 11, 2008 Share Posted September 11, 2008 Hey my friend, just go have fun and enjoy the moment. I would say if you weren't nervous then you wouldn't be human. Sometimes that feeling of excitement, nervousness, all combined are a good thing. I just hope someday I'll be at that place you are at but for now I feel I have a good start. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ilmw Posted September 14, 2008 Author Share Posted September 14, 2008 Nice responses there guys She txt me that day.. and asked to reschedule... as she was going to run late. So we are going out Monday night now. Its for a COFFEE.... So I'm pretty sure.... I wont need anything else than a few bucks in my pocket.... well we are going to Starbucks... so maybe I should bring my credit card... ilmw Link to post Share on other sites
Author ilmw Posted September 28, 2008 Author Share Posted September 28, 2008 Ok... well the woman I mentioned was a bust... but hey that is ok Met another... and have been out with her a couple of times since... and meeting again this Monday.. during the day... to just "hang out" It is really nice... to have a conversation with a woman... who... I get. Don't know where this could go... but I'm enjoying the now... (something about rubbing sunshine on my face) So... all is good... Hey...I learned also...that it works...it really, really works.... this washing, and brushing ones teeth.. and hair ilmw Link to post Share on other sites
Rafa Posted September 29, 2008 Share Posted September 29, 2008 Wow ilmw, what a journey you have been through! I read your old thread, and followed your story. You're an inspiration buddy. I wish you the very best of luck and happiness in the future. You deserve it. And keep us updated! It is inevitable that you will find a new love and be happy, and it will be a just conclusion (or new beginning) to an incredible tale of strength and dignity. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ilmw Posted September 29, 2008 Author Share Posted September 29, 2008 Thank you. Link to post Share on other sites
Gunny376 Posted September 30, 2008 Share Posted September 30, 2008 ilmw is like Christopher Robin and Poo ~ he can't help but find the silver lining in every cloud! ilmw can take a "mud-sandwich" and turn it into "True Bubble-Up and "Rainbow Pie" And, I'm seriously not BS'ing you about this! Seperation and divorce is very much about taking charge of yourself, your life, your feelings, your emotions, ~ regainging control over yourself, your life, falling back into your life! Regaining your "center" and re-discovering you and what you are and what you're about. Its about "re-claiming" your Life, and your self- idenity that so many of us lose during the course of our marraige. Or, as the great, late and great "Sam Kinson would put it, "Reclaiming your balls!" (And that's a gender neutral statement by the way ~ aka ~ re-claiming your Life, your idenity, as a person, an individual, your uniqeness as such) I know that a lot of you are going through some serious issues right now, what with Wall Street "tanking" and 401K and other investments heading South like Pancho Via fleeing the 12th Calvary. And I forsee this fourmn filling up with stories of woe over the coming months and years because of such. But trust me, I've been through the mud, the blood and the beer. The cheating wife, the seperation, the doubting, the worry, the anxiety, the depression, the job loss, the too much tequila, the don't give a **** attiturde I use to have. Along with the "F**k it! What can they do to me what they've not already done to me or what I haven't already gone through already. The old "What can they do to me? Make me join the Marines and ship me off to Vietnam/Iraq mentaility? With that out of the way, I can tell you this from experience, and I'm sure Lakesidedreams will back me up! Its all about perspective and attitude. You can choose to see the glass half empty or half full? And the truth of the matter is? People are about as happy as they make themselves up to be. When it comes down to it? Your azz only has two things to worry about? Whether your azz is healthy or sick! (I know because last week I was really sick with an ENT infection that kicked in my virtigo ~ dizziness, dirsoritation, hanging on the walls, drunk walking, naussea, calling "Earl for two days") Not once! During the last week did I ever think about a single X anything! My best friend at the time was the commode. Although I did make a lot of comments and promises to God! If your healthy? You've got nothing to worry about, but if your really deathly sick? You've still only got two things to worry about? Wheather your going to live or die? If you live? You've got nothing to worry about! But if you die? You've still have only two things to worry about! Wheather your going to go to Heaven or Hell! If you go to Heaven! You've got nothing to worry about! But if you go to Hell? It won't matter! You'll be so busy saying hello to all your freinds you won't give a damn! And that's easy for me to say ~ Eighteen years the otherside of many of your at ~ and its not come easy ~ I've had to work at it, BUT (THE PROVERBIAL ~ YEA BUT!) THERE IS LIFE AFTER DIVORCE! ITS THE END OF A MARRIAGE! NOT YOUR LIFE! And for the Love of God! Quit beating yourself up! You did the best that you could! You gave all you could give and knew how to give at the time! Most of us were way, way, way, to young dumb, young and ingronant to even fathom, let alone have a clue as to how to make a marriage work! And where did we get the TM (Technical Mannual) or OP (Operating Mannual) as to how to make a marriage work to begin with? In elementary school? Junior High School? High School? College? The chruch? The minster, rabbi, priest says a few words, and they basically mean, "Good luck! Your own your! Go for yourself I don't have a clue for you from here on! Bottom line! You've got to make your own mind up to be happy each and everyday! Get busy living your life, or get busy dying! Its up to each and everyone of us to get out there and rub a little sunshine on our face AND put a smile onr our faces! I've got to go, as I've got some Chinesse exchange students you are in need of an "attitude" adjustment from a retired Marine Gunnery Sergeant at 1 in the A.M Its not going to be fun, and its not going to pretty! :mad: BUT ITS GOT TO BE DONE! By GOD! Link to post Share on other sites
Billy Bob Posted September 30, 2008 Share Posted September 30, 2008 Hey...I learned also...that it works...it really, really works.... this washing, and brushing ones teeth.. and hair It's amazing how small things like that affect others, especially potential dating interests Watch out though.. pretty soon you will be hitting up the tanning salons, having your teeth whitened, and trimming your body hair! Link to post Share on other sites
Author ilmw Posted October 3, 2008 Author Share Posted October 3, 2008 ilmw is like Christopher Robin and Poo ~ he can't help but find the silver lining in every cloud! ilmw can take a "mud-sandwich" and turn it into "True Bubble-Up and "Rainbow Pie" Very good.... Well... what's the point complaining... people can only care so much for only so long... (other folks that is) One of the many things I got out of my seperation and then divorce... is.. well something.. Gunny him self said many times to my and others.... over and over again.... ok "get busy living... or get busy dying!" I took this to heart.... and to wallow in my own misery.... was to me... "dying" You can not control the actions of others... only your own actions... get that around you head... and it starts t become easier.... less stress I guess.... It had a sort of calming effect on me... as I knew I could control what I did... how I acted.. I could maintain my own character..... and be proud of me. Also... maintain a positive attitude... was ... well important.... for me.. but also around my son... I got used to it... and it became second nature... Maintaining a positive attitude is IMPORTANT! No matter what stage of the game you are in... just separating... a few months down the road.... or... going through the divorce process..... You have to maintain some kind of positive attitude..... so when you do come/get through it...... you have a platform to stand on.... (your attitude) Trust me... I know this enter things sucks! Not many people would wish this to happen... (the ones being dumped) But a positive attitude.... is necessary to help you get through this.... You have to find something to make you happy.... and use it... something to look forward too (and I don't mean somebody else) Sports, hobbies.. hanging out with good friends (who you don't always complain too... how much your life sucks) Get a life... or rediscover life.... cause it is not over yet... no matter how hard this may seem.... it does... it will.... get better. I know this... because.... I was where many of you were only a few months ago.... Now.... I am here.... I crossed over... (saw that light... and went towards it) Just hold onto that though... "I will get through this" Why?? .... because you are strong! ilmw Link to post Share on other sites
Author ilmw Posted October 15, 2008 Author Share Posted October 15, 2008 Hey all, Though I would post for myself ..lol My friend and I are getting on famously.... she is in face coming over... after she has finished a meeting she has this morning.... then we are going to hang out... until... she has to get her boys from school It is going at a very comfortable pace.... and it is nice to have those butterflies in the stomach.... once again.... been a long time for that... I see this as a long time coming... Its also weird... but if it were not for my divorce.. and her impending divorce.... we would never have met. I can actually say... I was happy with the way my life was going... but bamm! I am suddenly.... smiling so much my face feels like it will crack... and that is just from talking on the phone..... I guess what I am trying to say is this: I thought I was done.. never feel anything for anyone ever again... except my son..... When I stop caring about that... and just got on with living.... the best I could... some speacial came into my life again?? How weird is that...? Damn... I told her... just once... I liked Jambalaya...she invites me over for dinner.... and she had made it for me.... That was nice. I just smiled at her... and said thank you.. (it was good too... which is a bonus) :laugh: Your divorce is not the end of everything... It can be the begining of something new.... Just learn now.... and go forth... with your new found knowledge.... Live your life.... breath .... enjoy.... You never know.... something good...is just around the corner ilmw Link to post Share on other sites
PWSX3 Posted October 16, 2008 Share Posted October 16, 2008 Thanks for the update & the good news is awesome... I guess those ones that just fall out of the sky are the best ones. You aren't expecting anything so it just makes it that much more special. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ilmw Posted October 19, 2008 Author Share Posted October 19, 2008 Yeah your right PW... when you least expect good things.... they happen. I guess the only reason I am still posting... about this stuff is this.... I had a one time no hope.... could not see a light... a thought that I would never feel for another person....again I was proven wrong... I just hope.... I can help someone on here.... see there is always hope.... !! ilmw Link to post Share on other sites
sumdude Posted October 20, 2008 Share Posted October 20, 2008 Yeah your right PW... when you least expect good things.... they happen. I guess the only reason I am still posting... about this stuff is this.... I had a one time no hope.... could not see a light... a thought that I would never feel for another person....again I was proven wrong... I just hope.... I can help someone on here.... see there is always hope.... !! ilmw Always good to hear from you and happy to see the sunshine getting rubbed on your face! I'm just coming out the other side of that long tunnel... just starting to really feel 'normal' again after all the divorce drama. So yeah... it's good to see the possibilities and that I may be able to feel that way again... We all just have to remember to watch our expectations right? Link to post Share on other sites
PWSX3 Posted October 21, 2008 Share Posted October 21, 2008 Always good to hear from you and happy to see the sunshine getting rubbed on your face! I'm just coming out the other side of that long tunnel... just starting to really feel 'normal' again after all the divorce drama. So yeah... it's good to see the possibilities and that I may be able to feel that way again... We all just have to remember to watch our expectations right? It sure would have been nice if you would have let me ride on that train with you, I'm more then ready to see the other side of that tunnel. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ilmw Posted October 21, 2008 Author Share Posted October 21, 2008 Always good to hear from you and happy to see the sunshine getting rubbed on your face! I'm just coming out the other side of that long tunnel... just starting to really feel 'normal' again after all the divorce drama. So yeah... it's good to see the possibilities and that I may be able to feel that way again... We all just have to remember to watch our expectations right? Hey SD, Yeah... its a long ride... not a lot of fun..... can be rough some or most of the time.... but the "feeling normal" does feel good..... It actually felt weird at first for me.... Seeing the light at the end of the tunnel... for a long time seemed to stay the same size.... then all of a sudden... boom.... I was out in the sunshine. And...... YES.... always watch expectations... Being older, wiser.... and having read.. and learned about me... and others... relationships etc.... I now know.... a little more.... expectations imposed are bad... and you build yourself up for failure. (right) I have been seeing someone for,... well a month now.... and there is no pressure.... no drama... No stupid stuff. She tries as much as I do... we are both busy.... but when we can... we see each other.... sometimes she will make a special little detour... just to pop in to say hi... and steal a kiss..... (wow.... that is nice) I year ago...... there is no way... I could imagine any of this.... Good luck on your journey SD... you will get there... you know that. Ilmw Link to post Share on other sites
Author ilmw Posted October 21, 2008 Author Share Posted October 21, 2008 It sure would have been nice if you would have let me ride on that train with you, I'm more then ready to see the other side of that tunnel. Well... Pw..... your ticket for the train ride was sorted of imposed on you. Now you are riding that train... and are doing the things you need to do...to get to your destination. Just keep on do keep on doing what you are doing and stay on the tracks... ilmw Link to post Share on other sites
sumdude Posted October 21, 2008 Share Posted October 21, 2008 Well... Pw..... your ticket for the train ride was sorted of imposed on you. Now you are riding that train... and are doing the things you need to do...to get to your destination. Just keep on do keep on doing what you are doing and stay on the tracks... ilmw Yeah, those of us on the dumpee end of the divorce just wake up one day on that train wondering how the he** we got there and where the dam* thing is going.. Between the sudden separation, the divorce, the losses of family members and my dad's failing health this last year the hardest thing to get my mind around was the feeling that I had no control over my own life or destiny. Just keep moving forward like ilmw said. Take care of today, tomorrow will come. You might feel like dog scat some days, just ride out the storms. You'll be fine in the long run. Link to post Share on other sites
Gunny376 Posted October 21, 2008 Share Posted October 21, 2008 It really comes down to one thing? You can either sit around greving about things that you can't change? Or you can get busy getting on with your life. Me? I choose each day to put a smile on my face, a laugh in my voice, some sparkle in my eyes. I choose to see the glass as half full, rather than half empty. When I enter a room, I choose the perspective of, "Oh! There YOU are! Rather than HERE I am! I try and treat everyone I meet as special and unique ~ because they are! In the end? When all is said and done? There's usually more said than done! What was ~ was! What is? Is! And what will be will be! Link to post Share on other sites
PWSX3 Posted October 21, 2008 Share Posted October 21, 2008 Yeah, those of us on the dumpee end of the divorce just wake up one day on that train wondering how the he** we got there and where the dam* thing is going.. Thanks SD, I really needed that, it made me laugh!! Link to post Share on other sites
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