complete and utter agony..

[JLT123]

I've posted about this before, but i honestly don't know where to turn at this point and it feels as though i'm losing my mind.

 

I had a girlfriend I was actually going to marry.. was in with her family.. everything was great. We had problems, but we loved each other and that was enough. She was beautiful, easily a 9, and I threw it all away for the chance with another girl.

 

It's a girl I work with, who I've always been very attracted to, but never actually knew. Through chance we started working together and we hit it off. She had just gotten out of a 5 year relationship, and mine, at the time, was pretty rocky.

 

We talked a lot.. mostly through myspace at work.. then we met out one night. We kissed at the bar, it was cool, but nothing really developed from there.

 

Fast forwarding to now, the girlfriend and I are done, and I've been hanging out with this girl for at least 2-3 months now. She has nothing going on with any otehr guy besides me. I've slept in her bed, she's slept in mine, but nothing else. We've kissed a bunch of times before, but the one common theme is when we've been drinking.

 

She hangs all over me at the bar, but she insists we're friends, even though we both acknowledge the fact that we're very much into each other, personality and looks wise.

 

I honestly feel that I've found my soulmate, and I guess I'm being impatient in regards to how fast I want things to go. Maybe taking a step back would work, but being around this girl is intoxicating. Not to steal a line from a movie, but it's like I've injected myself with love herroin and I can't kick it.

 

She consumes my every thought, desire and need and it's she takes a few steps closer to me, then pulls back. I honestly dont' know what to think of it anymore, and I feel as though I threw everything I had away because I was so certain about this.. and it's like I'm stuck in this state of limbo that I can't get out of.

 

I have experience with women, so it's not like I'm playing anything wrong.. I mean, obviously I've done some right here, but as far as what I should do from here on out, I'm pretty much clueless..

 

I want to say taking a step back would work, but I know I would miss her too much. I don't want to push too hard and in the process push her away. As well, being around her, even when it's just in a friendly sense, the urge to hold her every minute of the hour is so great it feels like i'm going to crawl out of my skin.

 

Any advice is greatly appreciated.

[xpaperxcutx]

In all honesty, you can't make someone love you. Yet, you don't exactly know how she feels about you. If you feel absolutely tortured then the best way to end the agony is to be straight forward with her and ask her out. As for your ex, I feel bad for her that you cheated on her with this girl. But if you believe in karma, you're definitely regretting having thrown everything away. But it was your choice. So if anything, accept your decision and follow through.

[Smurlene]

It sounds to me like you are in the situation I was in not too long ago. My "friend" and I had great chemistry (we had sex), talked for hours, the whole deal, but he kept saying we were just friends. It took me awhile, but I finally took him at his word.

 

I think she likes being with you but isn't really into anything more than what you got. I say, ask her.

[JLT123]

We talk about it all the time... she's told me she's thought long and hard about dating me, but because she just got out of a 5 year relationship, still cares for her ex somewhat, that she just is "content" being single now.

 

Even when I try to ask things like, "Well, if I went back to my ex, would you be disappointed" she says she can't answer that. She agree's with me wholeheartedly that "it's there" between us, and that she just doesn't want to think about things, which I understand because if she's fine being single, then anything having to do with me, I'm sure, complicates things in her mind. Funny thing is if I try and stop calling her, she always comes back.

 

I don't know if I'm being tagged along because she likes the attention, or if she's honestly that conflicted, but the bottom line is not being with the ex has taken it's toll on me, and everything I try with her just seems to end in more questions in my head.

[stillafool]

I think if this new girl is not ready to commit or sleep with you you should move on. Don't go back to your other gf because that's not fair. You wanted this girl so either deal with her indecisiveness or move on. To continue to hang out with this girl, sleep in the same bed and still nothing happens is putting yourself through unnecessary torture. She is playing games. I bet deep down she want to go back to her ex.