Bubble Posted July 20, 2003 Share Posted July 20, 2003 This is quite a long story and I'm sorry but i really need some advice. I became seriously ill with Toxic Shock Syndrome this year and was in hospital, my boyfriend said he would support me and even proposed. I got better and changed jobs but found I was pregnant, even though I'd been told i could never have children because the illness had messed my tubes up. We were overjoyed and decided to keep the baby. But during this time he told me had been unfaithful, I forgave him because I loved him so much. I went to my hospital check up and he took routine swabs. They came back that I had an STI, Paul was the first person I'd ever slept with so I know i caught it from him. I was advised to end the pregnancy because the drug I needed to take would harm the baby, so I told Paul who promptly dumped me. I had to go through with the termination alone and spent the whole time crying. Its been a month since I had it and feel so lost and alone. Paul and I have been in contact but we never discuss the baby. But it hurts, I feel empty and because of the STI I feel dirty. Its cleared up now but I feel so unhappy. And one of my best friends, Kevin, has just told me he loves me and wants something more. He is sweet and kind and in a way everything i could ever want but I can't be with him. i feel empty, i don't think i can love anyone again. Please help me. I want to be able to get on with my life, I just don't know how. Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted July 20, 2003 Share Posted July 20, 2003 First, it's very clear that you don't need a scumbag who's going to cheat on your during difficult times and then dump you during other difficult times. The guy is totally worthless so it should be a relief to get him out of your life. What you're missing is the person you thought he was, not the butthole he really is. Healing takes time. Be patient with yourself and don't obsess on the past. It's over. You have a long, positive future ahead of you. Just give yourself some time and meanwhile do things with your life that you want to do. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Bubble Posted July 20, 2003 Author Share Posted July 20, 2003 I understand, but I can't get over killing my baby. My baby could have been fine, but it might not have been. It kills me that I may never know how life could have been and in a way I regret it so much. In another way I want to kill Paul for making me do it all alone. He was supposed to love. maybe what hurts is I know he never did That is what hurts so how can I overcome that? Link to post Share on other sites
jalexy Posted July 20, 2003 Share Posted July 20, 2003 i am sorry about your situation and what you had to do. i think its just a really bad situation and this guy was a major scumbag. this child would have been hurt otherwise, remember that. maybe you could talk to your doctor to get more comfort. i would cut all ties with him and one day, you will be past this, however very hard, time heals. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Bubble Posted July 20, 2003 Author Share Posted July 20, 2003 Thank you, and I know u have had troubles too and maybe I was selfish but I didn't read your post. I hope u are ok though Link to post Share on other sites
jalexy Posted July 20, 2003 Share Posted July 20, 2003 girl, right now, my problems are minute compared to yours. i cant imagine how you are feeling right now. i wish you the best. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Bubble Posted July 20, 2003 Author Share Posted July 20, 2003 Thanks, u seem very sweet, in fact everyone here seems nice. Take care Link to post Share on other sites
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