littleb200422 Posted May 31, 2008 Share Posted May 31, 2008 I have been with my boyfriend now for about two years. We have a child together and I love him very much. When we got together, I knew that he wasn't ready and yet I was still patient with him. We got along okay until about a month ago when I found out he was cheating on me. We had a big falling out about it and I decided t try and make it work. Now everytime he does something out of his normal routine, I think the worst. He now is trying to turn this around on me because I told him when he cheated I was at lunch with an old friend. so now he thinks that I am will cheat on him. Is there ever really any getting over someone cheating in a relationship? Link to post Share on other sites
porter218 Posted May 31, 2008 Share Posted May 31, 2008 never fully. It gets better over the years but sometimes those awfull memories come back as clear as if it happened 10 min. ago. My husband cheated on me in 2005 and we tried working it out, I love him very much, but my lack of trust in him spiraled out of control until we ended up splitting up for 9 month and now we have been back together since december and I still am very hurt by it. The relationship changes forever when you have been betrayed. It will probably never be great again. Link to post Share on other sites
LakesideDream Posted May 31, 2008 Share Posted May 31, 2008 Bravo Porter. Most posters at LS have a different opinion. Most believe all can be nice... and trusting again. I couldn't. Other men and women I have known personally couldn't. I'm sure that there are people that have been able to overcome and move on... I just never met one. Link to post Share on other sites
porter218 Posted June 3, 2008 Share Posted June 3, 2008 Well I think some relationships appear to be fine after one of them has cheated but usually that is only because the betrayed one suffers in silence...damn that! I am never silent about anything. Link to post Share on other sites
theobserver Posted June 3, 2008 Share Posted June 3, 2008 As a man it really saddens me when someone is cheated on during pregnancy or just after having a child. Usually if there was no signs or plans to cheat before (we can never know what's in the mans head) the man cheated because he was feeling he wasn't getting the attention he wanted, is not sexually attracted to you anymore to do or during pregnancy and decides he needs to get his rocks off. I just find it sooo disrespectful worse yet the women who almost always will forgive him for the sake of the child or not wanting to be alone. Don't be afraid, this dick will one day cheat on you again the fact he is accusing you is ridiculous don't let him shift blame on you EVER, the relationship is also never going to be the same again you already sense that. Don't be afraid to be a single mom and you don't always have to remain a single mom if you do not choose too. Hopefully (depending on who the home owner is) you can have somewhere to stay and support. Focus on your child for now then at a good time if you so wish find the loyal man (or woman whatever floats your boat) to be your life partner who will accept, love and respect yourself and child. I'm sure you'll do what you want though I gather from your post you'd most likely continue to stick with the guy. I however wouldn't be surprised one day that he'd get another woman pregnant and leave you for her. Link to post Share on other sites
porter218 Posted June 3, 2008 Share Posted June 3, 2008 What theobserver is saying is absolutely right. Don't be scared of being a single mom. The 9 months I spent alone with my kids were awesome. It was such a peaceful time for me. My kids are both very young and dependent on me and it was amazing to me how much they behaved better when my H and I split like they must have felt the lift of tension. And yes unfortunately a lot of men cheat during or right after pregnancy..it is usually tied to their fear of commitment and responsibility. And it is also common right before or after their wedding. I did a lot of research about this. Link to post Share on other sites
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