Questioning trust I have in LDR...bf seeing others

[someonesbabygurl]

let me give you alittle background before i go into my situation...

Im in a LDR for 2 years now.. about 2 years i met a wonderful man the man of my dreams on the internet .. yeh i always said that i would never do that but it happened somehow.. ive met him once stayed a few days at his house, but i had to move back to where i am currently living now...... hes a very busy man his occupation makes him travel alot and hes gone most of the time .... he calls me daily when hes not busy and all and its fine recently i found out that this woman been calling him not just one but more then one he says they are only friends or it is "business" should i be annoyed? im so emotional he says he only loves me and in some way i believe him but why do i get so upset ? and then when i try to explain to him if he thinks its right for him to have conversations with woman then so can i have friends of the opposite sex he gets mad.. im not sure if im taking it too much to heart cause i dont really know what is goin on . i sorta believe him that its only friends but still u have to be sure...Ive invested way to much in this relationship ive devoted all my time and energy to make this work and still it seems not enough like im not doing something right. i guess i have to take his word for it if i trust him right? ive been hurt before and its not a very nice thing to go thru we all know that...i dont know what to do help!

[Catherina]

Hey there!

 

I don't blame you at all for being annoyed. It is SO HARD when we are far apart from the one we love - an LDR will take ANY normal person and turn them into a total psycho, because it is just so difficult to trust someone who is far away...and of course it's frustrating to hear about your man getting attention from other women.

 

Learning to trust someone takes time, and it sounds like you've known your guy for awhile. Have you always trusted him? Has he broken your trust in the past? If he's always been honest with you before, even though it's difficult to trust when you're far away, it sounds like you have no reason to doubt him. Most people are going to have friends of the opposite sex, and with LDR's, there is simply nothing you can do about it. Being emotional and accusatory does nothing but push a man away. I say that you go ahead and have your friendships with males, and let him have his friendships with females. If the relationship with the two of you is meant to work out, it will. Besides, a lot of women these days are overly aggressive and pursue men - If she's calling him all the time, she's probably some attention-starved woman and your boyfriend will probably enjoy the attention for awhile, but he probably won't take her seriously, as women who chase men are a dime a dozen these days.

 

Also, and I am not trying to sound mean, but I noticed you said you have met him only once. If he travels so much, why hasn't he come to see you? I may be going out on a limb here, but it sounds to me like he's a bit lazy.

 

I would suggest cutting way back on the energy and effort you're putting into this man. It's great that you've found someone you love, but you will probably feel more confident about the relationship if you back off a little and let him pursue you. You just might be surprised as to what you get...

 

I know this is such a difficult thing to deal with. I have spent many sleepless nights wondering about my LDR! There is simply no 'right answer' to any LDR problem. They are NOT FUN most of the time, but they can work out.

[HisLove]

It is easy to feel jealous when you can't be there to see what's really happening. Even written communications can go awry. The other day I got this in im:-

 

will be online later sexy girls are driving me crazy

 

 

I said WHAT???? He isn't any good with punctuation and this is what he meant:-

 

Will be online later, sexy. Girls (his young children) are driving me crazy.

 

Big difference in context

 

If you are feeling anxious, post here to vent instead of letting him cop it.

[TMichaels]

:lmao:OMG Too funny, HisLove!

 

You seem to have some trouble when it comes to technology, don't you? I think it was you a while ago who said you inadvertently sent a text to your father intended for your sweetie, too!

 

Oh, well! At least LDRs sometimes also bring out the humor in life!

 

Best,

TMichaels

[HisLove]

That wasn't me TM, however, I was using a new phone once and inadvertently hit send when I'd typed the words We're finished

 

Never seen me text so quickly to correct that sentence lol