longlegzs80 Posted July 21, 2003 Share Posted July 21, 2003 I have been a total mess since I have been home. I believe I mentioned in other forums that I graduated college, and now living back at home with mom. Anyways, since I have been home, been looking for work and applying to places and having no luck, mother been pressuring me to be more on top of things as far as getting my portfolio together and getting out there and finding a job, and just everything. There is no ifs, ands or buts about it, I have always been depressed, and I think with living back home again it has made me extremely down in the dumps. I don't do the things I did before, like go to clubs, hang out with friends, drink anything like that. Those were the things I did at college. When friends call me that I went to school with, I have no desire to talk to them or anything. And with me being home, I don't have friends from my hometown, so I don't do a thing and I am 22 years old. Just the whole situation makes me want to cry. This is not where I want to be. I had all these plans and goals, and I feel like I have nothing anymore. And I can see it changing. I really need help. I can;t take it anymore. Having no job, no money, no social life, a mother who is constintly depressed and says nothing positive to me, and always talking about money issues. Please, if anyone can help me out I would greatly appreciate it. Thank you. Link to post Share on other sites
jalexy Posted July 21, 2003 Share Posted July 21, 2003 well i know when i get stuck in a rut like that, i know i have to do something about it.first i dont get why you wouldnt want to talk to your friends who could possibly help you to get better. you might wanna do that. you might want to go out and start looking to start your career. you have your degree now, use it. start creating the life that you want for yourself. its as simple and as hard as that. dont sit there and mope, im being nice, but this is how i treat myself when i get in the dumps. you have to move on get bigger and stronger=) Link to post Share on other sites
Author longlegzs80 Posted July 21, 2003 Author Share Posted July 21, 2003 When it comes to my friends or what I should say "my so called friends" from college, everything is about them. I really feel like I have no one to talk to and no decent friends that I can actually call a friend. Sure, if I had decent friends they would be great to talk to, but I don't and I am alone. That is my fault though. Another one of my problems is getting into my career of graphic design. With being out of college and having no work experience in the field it scares me. I think that my work is not good enough, so my mother purchased a computer so I work on my stuff and that has not happened to much. I guess I can say that this a big fear of mine. I am scared to get out there and be in my field. I don't know what to do though. Then I think about my resume and cover letter and I am not a good writter so that is an issue. There is just problem after problem. Another thing that is stopping me from getting into the field is I feel I am not creative enough. Have people tell me my work is excellent but that means nothing to me. So, I don't know what to say or do. Well, I should not say I don't know what to say or do but I just don;t know how to approach anything. Link to post Share on other sites
jessicakicksbut Posted July 21, 2003 Share Posted July 21, 2003 First thing first...have you talked to your career planning office at your college. They can help you put together a resume, as well as lead you in the right direction for jobs. They may be able to have you attend seminars on communication and self-esteem. One thign you have to realize with art or graphic design is that "beauty is in the eye of the beholder"...while you may not like your own work, others will think it is absolutley the best. I am like that with cooking...I'll put together fancy dished that my fiance or family loves, but I will absolutley hate it. Sometimes in life we are just our own worst enemy, or our own worst critics. The important thing is now that you have a service to provide for some lucky company that will be fortunate to have you on their pay-roll someday soon. Link to post Share on other sites
clia Posted July 21, 2003 Share Posted July 21, 2003 Sure, if I had decent friends they would be great to talk to, but I don't and I am alone. You can make new friends, you know? Volunteer somewhere, join some kind of local group, whatever. With being out of college and having no work experience in the field it scares me. Since you just graduated from college, no employer expects you to have credentials and experience a mile long. purchased a computer so I work on my stuff and that has not happened to much. Why not? I am scared to get out there and be in my field. Welcome to the real world! Then I think about my resume and cover letter and I am not a good writter so that is an issue. Doesn't your college have a career services center? I'm sure they would be more than happy to help you out with your resume and cover letters. If not, there are also a lot of companies who can assist you. There is just problem after problem. You are creating problems for yourself. It sounds like you are making a lot of excuses for not finding a job and for not having a social life. I don't mean to be harsh, but you are in the same position thousands of other college grads are in right now. You have little experience and you are scared. That's life and totally normal. But you must get over it, get your resume done, and send it out so you can accomplish all those goals you want to accomplish. And you know what? When you do find a job, you'll probably screw up from time to time. Again, part of life. It's all one great big learning process... Link to post Share on other sites
jessicakicksbut Posted July 21, 2003 Share Posted July 21, 2003 Sure, if I had decent friends they would be great to talk to, but I don't and I am alone. You can make new friends, you know? Volunteer somewhere, join some kind of local group, whatever. Easier said than done! Good friends, ones that you can actually talk to, will be there in thick and thin...it takes years to develop those kinds of friendship. I'm not saying you can't try joining some kind of structured organization to do so, but you are not going to miraculously make friends in two days doing so. I know when new people join the organizations I belong to, it is usually customary that we snub them at first...hey, were human and they are strange to us, so what do you expect!!! What I would suggest is to get some kind of hobbies, and keep yourself busy when you are in the mood for socialization or getting depressed. Sometimes it would be good just to read a book, watch a movie, go to the local coffee shop and read a newspaper, join a gym and get exercise...people who can keep themselves occuppied without relying on others gain character and empowerment by doing so (learned this is a seminar once). Usually, by just "living your life" and not actively seek friends, friendships will start coming along slowly, and not these fair-weather "instant" friends like you meet in college. Link to post Share on other sites
clia Posted July 21, 2003 Share Posted July 21, 2003 I'm not saying you can't try joining some kind of structured organization to do so, but you are not going to miraculously make friends in two days doing so. I never said it would be a fast or easy process, but I personally think it's a better way to go than to read a book or watch a movie and hope friendships gravitate to her. It seems to me like if she found a group she liked and got involved she might meet some people that way. not these fair-weather "instant" friends like you meet in college. ? This seems like a weird statement. I actually know very few people who consider their friends from college to be fair-weather "instant" friends. Link to post Share on other sites
jessicakicksbut Posted July 21, 2003 Share Posted July 21, 2003 It depends on the group of friends interests. If it is just "clubbing", "drinking", or "hooking-up"...of course they are not real friends. Or, these "study-friends" who seem to gravitate to you only during test time. Also, there is an extreme pressure in college to make friends "ASAP" while you still have a chance to "live life to the fullest". It's not a gradual friendship where you get to actually learn the other person's emotions, interests, good-points, dreams, and desires. I'm not saying that people don't make good friendships in college, they do, but many people you encounter in college fall into the "fair-weather" category, and you don't find that out till your out of school and they ask you barely any questions about your life, or they come in from out of town to visit and you find out you have nothing in common with them anymore. It's just life, but since people are much less mature in college, that is why friendships developed in both high school and college fall into this category. Let's face it...the best thing for longlegzs80 to do is to get a job in her field...she will meet more mature and interesting people that way, and develop more friendship that will last. College people are just too immature sometimes and incapable of "true friendship" Link to post Share on other sites
Author longlegzs80 Posted July 21, 2003 Author Share Posted July 21, 2003 I really appreciate the both of you taking your time to help me out when I am feeling down. Thank you again. ---SARAH (LEGZS) Link to post Share on other sites
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