Lonelystar Posted June 2, 2008 Share Posted June 2, 2008 I just need a place to vent, and this website has been a great place to write down and get other peoples points of views. I was sexually abused by my uncle when I was 9 to 10. I lived with him then, and my parents were in America at the time. I have reached a point in my life where I can handle it (after much needed therapy), and no longer feel shame for what happened. I am at the angry stage. I know my parents love me to death, but I am so mad they sent me to live with him. They didn't know he was abusive, but I just wish they would have kept me with them instead of sending me to my uncle. I never pressed charges because until recently I kept it a secret. My uncle lives about an hour away and I suspect he has abused my cousin (his daughter). I have called social services, but they found nothing. She is showing the same signs I did when i was abused. I tried asking her, but she never says anything. I don't know what i should do, if anything at all. I am thinking about pressing charges against him, but I need to talk to a lawyer to figure out if I still can. I just don't know how else to reach out to my cousin. Link to post Share on other sites
quankanne Posted June 2, 2008 Share Posted June 2, 2008 *hugs* I cannot begin to imagine how hard it is having to deal with the aftermath of sexual abuse, but I'm proud of you for deciding to let the secret out into the open – its the only way you'll help yourself heal. meanwhile, keep doing what you can for your cousin. If that means contacting the state's child protective services department about your own abuse and the suspicion of your cousin's abuse, do it. There should be a toll-free number or website that helps victims of sexual abuse, and you might be able to get information from the counselors there about your concern for your cousin. Link to post Share on other sites
borelandkaren Posted June 2, 2008 Share Posted June 2, 2008 If you decide to do this, you must remain strong and keep your resolve. My ex molested his stepdaughter for 4 years, denied it when she contacted the authorities and has remained free of any charges (although the accusation remains on the books for child services) since 1996. If you are strong enough, my advice: HUNT HIM DOWN (LEGALLY) LIKE THE DOG HE IS UNTIL HE IS BEHIND BARS. What these predators get away with is disgusting and unless we are strong, they will continue to do so. Carpe diem!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Lishy Posted June 2, 2008 Share Posted June 2, 2008 Report him immediately Too many people say nothing and let these sick bastards get away with this vile crime! Get his daughter away from him Sick bastard! I wish you so much strength and I really hope you get through all of this, I really feel for you. Are you or have you been in therapy? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lonelystar Posted June 2, 2008 Author Share Posted June 2, 2008 Hey guys. Thanks so much for the advice. My cousin is now 18, so I don't know if I can really do anything. I have tried to talk to her, but she is closed off like I was. I am thinking about seeking legal action, but I have to talk to a lawyer. This happened to me 12 years ago, and thus I am not sure what I can do. I am going to try though. He is a sick bastard. The sad thing is when my cousin and I were all kids, he was our favorite uncle. He is manipulative, and really plans these attacks out. For me the healing process is happening. I use to be so ashamed, but after therapy and rational thinking I realized it wasn't me but him. I was a little girl, and really didn't even know what "sex" and things of that nature was ( i grew up really sheltered). I know this has affected me greatly. I get nervous when my niece is around people I don't know. Luckly my sister has talked to my niece about things of this nature, a conversation which would of helped me at her age. I was reserved about being sexual with anyone, until I was with my boyfriend. I just get flash back sometimes, and I think those are the hardest to deal with. The experince, though it was the worst thing that has ever happened to me, made me stronger. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted June 7, 2008 Share Posted June 7, 2008 I guess just let her know that you will always be there for her if and when she needs to talk, that you DO understand how she feels - Even if right now she's denying it. I am sorry that you had to go through that during your younger years, noone should have to deal with that and what goes along with it. I commend your strength to work through this and not let it ruin your life. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lonelystar Posted June 7, 2008 Author Share Posted June 7, 2008 Thank you so much for your advice. I will keep talking to her and be there for her when she needs me. I pray to God what I think is untrue, but something in my gut tells me she is going through the same thing. I feel bad for her because thats her father. He is supposed to protect her, but instead took advantage over her. He is very manipulative, and I just wish he would go away. For a while I was letting it ruin my life. It has caused severe damage, but I know I have to pick up the pieces. I can't ruin my life over him. Link to post Share on other sites
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