wing81 Posted June 2, 2008 Share Posted June 2, 2008 Sorry this is long but so much has happened recently and I can't seem to put the peices together. A fairly new co worker and i have been spending a lot of time together over the past few months. We have gotten close to the point that other people think we are dating.We basically do everything a dating couple would do (dinner, movies, hikes, ect) without the intimacy. She is currently going through a break up of a long term relationship. About two weeks ago we had a little too much to drink and took things to another level. Both of us had friends telling us that this was mostlikely going to occur at some point. Neither of us was ashamed of what happened and dicussed some future possibilities between us. Over the past few weeks another co-worker/friend has been spending a lot of time with us as well. I have noticed that she is getting fairly close to him as well now. He may be going through a similar situation that she is dealing with relationship wise in the very near future. The three of us went out the other night and she pretty much ignored me. The two of us took seperate cars and at the end of the night she choose to ride back with me like nothing happened. I'm confused on where I stand in her eyes. I feel like I am slowly starting to be cut out but at the same time we will talk on the phone and text message for over an hour in may cases. Even as of last week we had brief discussions about her current status and how they might effect us. Some of the text messages she sends are somewhat provocative with sexual innuendos. We still joke around some but the other guy seems to be her first choice. In terms of our "intimate" time together, now she says she doesn't really remember much. I know she is still having some issues with her current "ex" boyfriend and I know my other friend is a good person to go to for advice because he is in a similar spot. I'm just not sure if her interest has faded and turned to him. I know I cannot change what people think or who the choose to hang out with and I would be a terrible person if i stood in the way of someone elses happiness. However, there always seems to be some one smarter, funnier, wealthier, stronger, ect. than me that comes out on top. I have so many questions because of her mixed signals and would appreciate any input. If her feelings have moved away from me I will bow out gracefully or if she needs more time to determine her clear up her relationship status I will be more than happy to be her friend. I just hate note knowing and fear lossing someone I am close too. Link to post Share on other sites
Suiyobi Posted June 6, 2008 Share Posted June 6, 2008 Ugh, I know the feeling... I don't mean to sound depressing and negative, but I think you've ended up in her friends zone (assuming that it "exists"). I think that statement that you said, "We basically do everything a dating couple would do (dinner, movies, hikes, ect) without the intimacy" pretty much laid it out. To add further injury, she was still going through that phase of coping with the loss of a relationship, so everything that you did with her cheered her up but didn't really get to her thinking in the way that you wanted her to. The other guy, on the other hand, came later into the picture and at a time when I assume she's already gained strong ground emotionally and mentally. And he probably started making moves on her already, though you just didn't know about it, otherwise why would she actually go for him first rather than you. The only thing I can suggest is if you really like her in an intimate way go after her now. Otherwise you'll let an opportunity slip by. Link to post Share on other sites
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