icandoit08 Posted June 2, 2008 Share Posted June 2, 2008 Hi I'm new to this board. I"m 27 and dh is 36. My dh and I have been together for 7 years and married for 1 year. You think u know a person and the saying when u go lookin for something u might not like what u find. 4 mos after the wedding.....Last year i registered our cell phones online and found a number on my dh bill about 6 to 7x a day...early in the morning till late at nite. i knew it wasnt no one in his family. i called the # to see who it was and she claims that they were just friends. I confronted my husband and he said the he was grown and he could talk to whom ever he wanted... i don't own him, he doesn't answer to me, and just cuz we're married doesn't mean hes going to change. i was devastated. so after some talking we decided we were goin to try and work things out. Well things got worse, He would walk in the door without speakin to me on his cell phone, eat dinner on his phone, come to bed on his phone and he tried to be slick by referring to her as man when he talked to her yet i heard a womans voice. He has no respect for our marriage and said that hes not going to stop talking to her cuz of me and shes not the only female friend that he talked to on his phone. He doesn't spend time with me and disappears on the weekend. doesnt tell me where hes goin. He doesnt treat me like his wife. Last nite he said that we're not compatible and that we don't want the same things out of life. Ever since i quit my 2nd job the beg of this year sh#$ we've been arguin over finances. He needs a woman that works over time just like he does. its funny because hes never worked two jobs and i've been working 2 jobs for 2 years and decided this year that i was going back to school to get my BA. Expects me to work two jobs while he has his nites and weekends free to sit on the phone. He called me stupid for quitin my job and said that i didn't want anything out of life. What made me decided to separate was when i woke up Sat morning and there was a baby in my living room...whos baby... his female friend that hes been talking on the phone to 7x time a day. He swears that its not his baby. He's been dropping the kid off to daycare, watching him while she goes to school at nite. WTF! Going to the grocery store with her..which he never did with me. They act like they're married. He doesnt even care about my feelings and disrespecting me. Said the reason he didn't spend time with me because i was boring and all we did was argue. I'm so hurt. I guess all things happen for a reason. We don't have kids together thank God! No big purchases together just a small personal loan. And our apt lease is up in Aug and we were planning on applying for a mortgage. I"ve never lived on my own and i'm scared because i don't want to start over with someone else but i'm not going to let him make me look like a fool and disrespect me. I have no family here only a few friends. I've already started looking for roommates. I"m glad its just me and not having to worry about finding a place for me and kids. I wanted to spend the rest of my life with this man and if i never went snooping i would have never known. I'm infertile and don't know if i'll ever be able to have kids. I know what everyone is going to ask what happened......My parents are goin to say i told you not to marry him.....i feel like an idiot. i guess because we've been together so long hes said he was goin to tell people that we werent compatible. Link to post Share on other sites
kalena9488 Posted June 2, 2008 Share Posted June 2, 2008 I say take your things and get the h... out of their while you can and thank God you don't have any kids or hopefully any real assets with this man. My ex-h did sort of the same thing and it's just down right disrespectul and part of the reason I'm not with him anymore. Be glad you found out now! Their are to many other men out their who would not treat you like this. You will be fine on your own. You may not be able to live at the same level you are now for a little bit but it's worth the sacrafice. Good luck to you ! Link to post Share on other sites
Gunny376 Posted June 2, 2008 Share Posted June 2, 2008 I qualify what I'm about to post with "Yes, I beleive your H is being disrespectful, inconsiderate, and a over the top with his "friendship" with other women. With that said, I have two LTR friends that happen to be women, both of which I've known for over ten years, one is married and the other is in a LTR. One help got me hire on with her company when I got laid off and needed a transistion / what-ever job, and the other I help get her daughther (single mom) get a job with the series of companies I work for now. We don't talk all of the time, but I've been there for them, and they sure as Hell have been there for me through some tough and rough times in my life, as I have been there for them, and just because I get with a new GF doesn't mean I'm going to turn my back on them. They called me today, I'd be there in a heart-beat, because I know they would do the same. Because they're my friends. True die-hard, to the hilt, friends. There's nothing sexual going on between us, we're just really good friends. One is always trying to "hook-me-up" with someone she knows ~ but I'm on a sabbatical from relationships and the dating and mating game. Mainly financial goals. Getting my Life where I want and need it to be. Men can have women in their lives who are just friends! Link to post Share on other sites
mark982 Posted June 2, 2008 Share Posted June 2, 2008 lady, he's treating you really terrible.i'd pack my crap up and move on. i've read some really bad stories here on ls. but this one takes the cake. i really feel for you. Link to post Share on other sites
Nomad1 Posted June 2, 2008 Share Posted June 2, 2008 I can do it 08 - He is disrespecting you big time! I would file immediately and move out without warning and no forwarding address! No ifs no buts, you have to leave immediately! Good luck Nomad Link to post Share on other sites
EnigmaXOXO Posted June 2, 2008 Share Posted June 2, 2008 Honey, by the sound of it, you’re already on your own and pretty much ‘alone’ in this marriage. Well ... with the exception of the surrogate wife and kids he’s just moved in on ya. Get your name off the lease (and the marriage license) and let him support these people without your help. Really, your life is still intact and as full of potential as it was before you met him. The only thing you stand to lose is a jerk who will only keep you down. I know it hurts like hell, but consider it growing pains. You’re another day older and wiser for the experience. Get yourself a roommate to share the living expenses and search for some financial aide in regard to your continued education. That BA won’t let you down the way other people can, and as long as you’re able to rely on yourself you are the master of your own universe rather than a lap dog to someone else’s. I’m so, so sorry. But more for that other family than I am for you. Cause those poor folks have no idea what’s in store for them (yet) while Prince Charming puts on his best to bait the “I’ll Make A Great Husband/Daddy” trap as he once did for you. Shoot. If it were me ... I’d chew my own leg off to get away from this one! Link to post Share on other sites
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