Everdine Posted June 2, 2008 Share Posted June 2, 2008 I don't knwo how to handle this whole situation... We had a party on Saturday and after everyone left I went in search of them. I did not for one second think I woudl find them in bed having sex.. and then they acted as if nothing happened.. thinking I did not notice anything.. so the next day I hardly spoke to either one of them and later when my sister left I confronted my husband and he looked absolutly horrified and said that he can not remember anything both of them have been drinking and he says he can not remember anything.. He was as white as a sheet and did not know ho to react or what to say.. I made it very clear that I was very very disapointed he has never had one good word to say about my sister and then they end up having sex, I asked what will happen if she fell pregnant or if one of my children walked into that room and not me.. he was and is very ashamed of this whole thing.. My sister has not said a word I also feel that to confront her on a phone or e-mail is not how I want to do this I need to see her face to face and tell her what I found.. I don't know how to deal with this and if I will ever be able to forgive them she's my sister but I don't want her near me.. He's been my husband and friend for more than 15 years and I don't know how to handle them I want to be alone and think but how do i get over this and move on ? Link to post Share on other sites
tinktronik Posted June 2, 2008 Share Posted June 2, 2008 I think this kind of situation need a therapist right in the midst of it. Call around and see if you can find one you like. Seriously, don't try to handle this yourself. Link to post Share on other sites
Micki Posted June 2, 2008 Share Posted June 2, 2008 I am so sorry! That's horrible! Link to post Share on other sites
D-Lish Posted June 2, 2008 Share Posted June 2, 2008 I'd be a whole lot more angry then you seem to be... Link to post Share on other sites
Lizzie60 Posted June 2, 2008 Share Posted June 2, 2008 I don't knwo how to handle this whole situation... We had a party on Saturday and after everyone left I went in search of them. I did not for one second think I woudl find them in bed having sex.. and then they acted as if nothing happened.. thinking I did not notice anything.. so the next day I hardly spoke to either one of them and later when my sister left I confronted my husband and he looked absolutly horrified and said that he can not remember anything both of them have been drinking and he says he can not remember anything.. He was as white as a sheet and did not know ho to react or what to say.. I made it very clear that I was very very disapointed he has never had one good word to say about my sister and then they end up having sex, I asked what will happen if she fell pregnant or if one of my children walked into that room and not me.. he was and is very ashamed of this whole thing.. My sister has not said a word I also feel that to confront her on a phone or e-mail is not how I want to do this I need to see her face to face and tell her what I found.. I don't know how to deal with this and if I will ever be able to forgive them she's my sister but I don't want her near me.. He's been my husband and friend for more than 15 years and I don't know how to handle them I want to be alone and think but how do i get over this and move on ? I'm confused.. why wait now to confront them.. why didn't you confront them right then when you caught them.. now they can act stupid as if nothing happened.. and maybe you'll end up thinking that you imagine this.. holly molly.. man.. I have to shake my head sometimes.. Why leave them the chance to make you feel 'unsure' about the whole thing and maybe they will end up telling you it's YOUR fault.. Geezzz.... your husband is an idiot.. period... dump him. Link to post Share on other sites
Citizen Erased Posted June 2, 2008 Share Posted June 2, 2008 Kick him out, let everyone you know about what happened between them and file for divorce. Grow some balls girl. Link to post Share on other sites
tinktronik Posted June 2, 2008 Share Posted June 2, 2008 how old is your little sister? Link to post Share on other sites
The Collector Posted June 2, 2008 Share Posted June 2, 2008 That's terrible, cast them both from your life. But let me also open this can of worms - a brother would never do it to his brother. It's a female competitiveness thing. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Everdine Posted June 3, 2008 Author Share Posted June 3, 2008 24 years old Link to post Share on other sites
2sunny Posted June 3, 2008 Share Posted June 3, 2008 wow - i'm sorry for all of this mess. my guess is that they both knew exactly what they were doing and i bet it wasn't the first time. i think you need a lot of answers to some pretty tough questions. i wouldn't wait or beat around the bush about what needs to be addressed. good luck. Link to post Share on other sites
Micki Posted June 3, 2008 Share Posted June 3, 2008 That's terrible, cast them both from your life. But let me also open this can of worms - a brother would never do it to his brother. It's a female competitiveness thing. Michael Jackson's brother, Jermaine Jackson, did it to younger brother, Randy Jackson. Jermaine married and had kids with Randy's wife. I also know of a co-worker who slept with his brother's wife. Link to post Share on other sites
quankanne Posted June 3, 2008 Share Posted June 3, 2008 drunk or not, that's a serious lapse in judgment when you decide to screw your wife's sister/your sister's husband. They knew what they were doing, drunk or not, so don't let him off the hook. as for her, I think I'd beat the shxt out of her. Because SHE definitely should know better, being flesh and blood. Link to post Share on other sites
Nevermind Posted June 3, 2008 Share Posted June 3, 2008 They both should know better. OP, please seek help with a therapist or close friend. Don't be alone right now. You seem to be in shock. Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted June 3, 2008 Share Posted June 3, 2008 I'm confused.. why wait now to confront them.. why didn't you confront them right then when you caught them.. now they can act stupid as if nothing happened.. and maybe you'll end up thinking that you imagine this.. holly molly.. man.. I have to shake my head sometimes.. Why leave them the chance to make you feel 'unsure' about the whole thing and maybe they will end up telling you it's YOUR fault.. Geezzz.... your husband is an idiot.. period... dump him. I'm confused by this post Lizzie.. you advocate cheating and even say that it is good for a marriage in other threads.. What is different about this thread ? To the OP... I think Tink is right.. you both need to be in front of a counselor to sort this out.. You have been betrayed not only by your husband but also by your same blood sister and those are very hard things to tackle on your own Link to post Share on other sites
Billy Bob Posted June 4, 2008 Share Posted June 4, 2008 Kick him out, let everyone you know about what happened between them and file for divorce. Grow some balls girl. Yeah, you're never going to get past this.. This won't go away or be forgotten.. Unless? Can you sleep with his brother? Link to post Share on other sites
twice_shy Posted June 4, 2008 Share Posted June 4, 2008 I'd get a lawyer and divorce this jackass of a husband if I were you. Then I'd make sure your family knows that if your tramp sister is at any family functions, YOU will not be there. I'd disown her. But thats me. Link to post Share on other sites
Citizen Erased Posted June 4, 2008 Share Posted June 4, 2008 I'd get a lawyer and divorce this jackass of a husband if I were you. Then I'd make sure your family knows that if your tramp sister is at any family functions, YOU will not be there. I'd disown her. But thats me. Yep, me too. I would seriously let every single person they know what they both did. They should be ashamed of themselves. As for marriage counselling...an affair can be dealt with. But when it's with a family member, that is a line you just cannot come back over IMO. Link to post Share on other sites
iSmiley Posted June 8, 2008 Share Posted June 8, 2008 wow, this is horrible!!! So much betrayal! IMO, if i am in ur shoes (touchwood >.>) I would jus put everything down and be alone and jus be away from them especially if i can't decide whether i want to leave him or not. Once my head is calmer and IF the shock is eventually gone, then decides what i should do- whether i will be able to live with a man who betrayed me in the worst manner and see and live with him with full forgiveness. As for my sister, i will definitely not talk to her ever again! Then again, the sex is between the two of them. Why should i put the blame all on the sis while none of the husband? Am so sorry for what happen to you. This is just horrible =/ *hugs* Link to post Share on other sites
Mary3 Posted June 11, 2008 Share Posted June 11, 2008 wow - i'm sorry for all of this mess. my guess is that they both knew exactly what they were doing and i bet it wasn't the first time. i think you need a lot of answers to some pretty tough questions. i wouldn't wait or beat around the bush about what needs to be addressed. good luck. I would not forgive this garbage ! I can understand the : Let me back out of the room because I am shocked and I want to see how they act around me after this " I TOTALLY get it ! Most males might kill the people in the bed but most women are smarter and figure out their NEW future WITHOUT this scum... Link to post Share on other sites
J2FT1 Posted June 11, 2008 Share Posted June 11, 2008 I think this is a troll post. Link to post Share on other sites
Mary3 Posted June 11, 2008 Share Posted June 11, 2008 I think this is a troll post. I just don't feel this is a troll post. Member joined and took the time to post. It seems plausible that this really occured. Link to post Share on other sites
J2FT1 Posted June 11, 2008 Share Posted June 11, 2008 She doesn't even give any feedback on your opinions and advice. Troll posts usually do this. Link to post Share on other sites
tinktronik Posted June 11, 2008 Share Posted June 11, 2008 She doesn't even give any feedback on your opinions and advice. Troll posts usually do this. Or people who are in extremely stressful situations, and have not had the time just now to poke around on LS. Link to post Share on other sites
Mary3 Posted June 11, 2008 Share Posted June 11, 2008 Or people who are in extremely stressful situations, and have not had the time just now to poke around on LS. Agreed. She suffered a traumatic experience and is now dealing with. She will eagerly come back here to see our responses.... Link to post Share on other sites
J2FT1 Posted June 11, 2008 Share Posted June 11, 2008 Sorry if I assumed to soon. The story is just really strange because if you got a husband of 15 years cheating on you WITH your sister, there is no reason NOT to confront them right then and there. No one would do this, seriously. Link to post Share on other sites
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