Author Everdine Posted June 11, 2008 Author Share Posted June 11, 2008 [COLOR=black][FONT=Antique Olive][sIZE=3]My sister recently left her Husband in another country and she now lives with my mother so if I had to leave my husband where is the first place I would go??? Of course I’ll go to my mother… my mother is the 2nd most important person in my life after my children… she raised us alone and how do I turn my back on my mother just because she’s taking care of her child… I honestly don’t know how to handle this situation… I am scared to death that my sister might be pregnant everyone knows it only takes “one-time”… one thing is for sure if she is pregnant I will NEVER NEVER get over this, at this point I feel that maybe someday I’ll be able to get over it but if a child should come of this I will leave with my children and leave everyone even my mother behind… My mother knows what happened I felt like I had to tell her how do I explain to her that I do not want my sister near me without telling her why????[/sIZE][/FONT][/COLOR] [COLOR=black][FONT=Antique Olive][sIZE=3] [/sIZE][/FONT][/COLOR] [COLOR=black][FONT=Antique Olive][sIZE=3]I’ve been VERY calm about this whole situation I don’t know for how long though [/sIZE][/FONT][/COLOR] Link to post Share on other sites
luvmy2ns Posted June 11, 2008 Share Posted June 11, 2008 I'd have had to Lorena Bobbitt the H and kick my sister's ass and never speak to the little b ever again. Drunk is no excuse. Seriously. Like he didn't know he was f'ing your sister or she your H. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Everdine Posted June 11, 2008 Author Share Posted June 11, 2008 That is hard for me to understand that neither of them can REMEMBER anything.... If they were so drunk how come they didn't just pass out... I believe that only when you pass out thats when you forget... but thats just me everyone is different... I still can't understand and I don't think I want to know how they can not remember it... I am just deathly afraid she is going to end up pregnant and then have another (she's got 2) child that my Mom has to raise.... I am tired today and maybe this thing is finaly getting to me.. I havent cried or been histerical as yet maybe its the calm before the storm Link to post Share on other sites
luvmy2ns Posted June 11, 2008 Share Posted June 11, 2008 I'm sorry, but they are lying through their teeth. You HAVE to know that in your heart. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Everdine Posted June 11, 2008 Author Share Posted June 11, 2008 My thoughts exactly I belive their lying to...... I am so confused it's not even funny.... this has been a shock to mny system and I think my system wants to shut down now.. and I am scared of that who will take car eof my kids if i fall appart... it's realy scarry Link to post Share on other sites
luvmy2ns Posted June 11, 2008 Share Posted June 11, 2008 I'm so sorry for you. It must be awful. How can you even go to your own mother with this? That is the first thing I would want to do, but with your sister involved... Do you not have anyone? A best friend? Someone? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Everdine Posted June 11, 2008 Author Share Posted June 11, 2008 You see I did tell my mother she knows about everything and she tries to keep me going.. I can never ever expect my mom to write-off her OWN child a mother is not allowed to do that in my eyes no matter what your child has done it stays you child.. It is hard for her I'm sure to be there for both of us knowing what she knows... Link to post Share on other sites
underpants Posted June 11, 2008 Share Posted June 11, 2008 This is so messed up. I don't think I could forgive that. Either party. That is just weak and sad. In time you might be able to make peace with it, but that doesn't mean you should invest trust to either, related or not. Your Mom is in a bad position. However, I think it was good to let people know. So they understand your position in all of this. Is your H still staying with you. I would have to curb him (for his own safety). Have you enlisted the advice of legal council? You have a case for divorce if I ever heard of one. It might be good to take steps to remove unhealthy elements from your life. I'm sorry for the extreme betrayl you have suffered by both your H and your sister. That is so not cool. Stay strong for you children. Investigate ways to turn this into a positive outcome for you and your children. Maybe this will be a kick start for you to have a new life. I have a feeling that you H as well as your sister will have a much longer and harder road to deal with....themselves. Link to post Share on other sites
Ariadne Posted June 11, 2008 Share Posted June 11, 2008 Yeah, That's tough. You handled it pretty well though. Hopefully he won't try and dump you for your sister. Since she broke up with her husband and all. If he doesn't then you are ok. Just forget about it. The guy found a young chick that gave him the time of day and had a good time. Link to post Share on other sites
luvmy2ns Posted June 11, 2008 Share Posted June 11, 2008 Of course she can't write off her own child. I'm glad that she's there for you. However, if I were in her position, I would tell my other daughter to find her own place to live; with friends or on her own. Whatever, just so YOU - the innocent injured party - would have somewhere to go. However, if you choose to drop-kick your H's lying a55, just quietly file for divorce. The court will eventually make him leave the house to you and the kids as well as provide for their necessities AND yours if you have been a stay-at-home mom. You do have options, hon. Link to post Share on other sites
luvmy2ns Posted June 11, 2008 Share Posted June 11, 2008 Hopefully he won't try and dump you for your sister. Since she broke up with her husband and all. If he doesn't then you are ok. Just forget about it. The guy found a young chick that gave him the time of day and had a good time. Hopefully you have more self esteem than this. Link to post Share on other sites
Ariadne Posted June 11, 2008 Share Posted June 11, 2008 Hopefully you have more self esteem than this. Oh yeah, Divorce her husband of 15 years, because he got drunk one night and did some fky with the sister. Link to post Share on other sites
luvmy2ns Posted June 11, 2008 Share Posted June 11, 2008 Oh yeah, Divorce her husband of 15 years, because he got drunk one night and did some fky with the sister. I think he'll continue to f other women (if he hasn't already been doing it for 15 years) if she lets him treat her this way. I guess it's an attractive alternative for some women to lay on the porch and say "welcome." Link to post Share on other sites
tinktronik Posted June 11, 2008 Share Posted June 11, 2008 Oh yeah, Divorce her husband of 15 years, because he got drunk one night and did some fky with the sister. Yes, absolutely, no question about it. There is no healing from this kind of blow.Getting drunk is not a sufficient reason to cheat or betray your spouse. Link to post Share on other sites
luvmy2ns Posted June 11, 2008 Share Posted June 11, 2008 Yes, absolutely, no question about it. There is no healing from this kind of blow.Getting drunk is not a sufficient reason to cheat or betray your spouse. Absolutely! Otherwise, everyone who wants to get laid on the side will just go out and have a few and then blame it on the alcohol. Link to post Share on other sites
Ariadne Posted June 11, 2008 Share Posted June 11, 2008 I think he'll continue to f other women (if he hasn't already been doing it for 15 years) if she lets him treat her this way. I guess it's an attractive alternative for some women to lay on the porch and say "welcome." And here is the other thought. Is she doesn't divorce him right now, he is going to screw everything in sight from now on. You guys have to understand that for some guys, at that age, that a young girl wants to have sex with them is like going on a motorcycle ride, a steak dinner in a fancy restaurant, or one of those things. Yeah, if the guy is emotionally involved and is in love with the sister then yes, she'll have a problem. And hopefully she's not pregnant. Then the problem can get bigger with the financial support. Otherwise, no big deal. Just be mad with him for a bit, that's ok.. Link to post Share on other sites
Ariadne Posted June 11, 2008 Share Posted June 11, 2008 Yes, absolutely, no question about it. There is no healing from this kind of blow.Getting drunk is not a sufficient reason to cheat or betray your spouse. Yes, for some people there is not healing from that kind of blow. Is the most destructive thing for their egos. Link to post Share on other sites
luvmy2ns Posted June 11, 2008 Share Posted June 11, 2008 And here is the other thought. Is she doesn't divorce him right now, he is going to screw everything in sight from now on. You guys have to understand that for some guys, at that age, that a young girl wants to have sex with them is like going on a motorcycle ride, a steak dinner in a fancy restaurant, or one of those things. Yeah, if the guy is emotionally involved and is in love with the sister then yes, she'll have a problem. And hopefully she's not pregnant. Then the problem can get bigger with the financial support. Otherwise, no big deal. Just be mad with him for a bit, that's ok.. Yuk. I couldn't live that way. I have a higher view of myself than that. So I take it you let anyone you're in a relationship with screw around then? Ish. Link to post Share on other sites
luvmy2ns Posted June 11, 2008 Share Posted June 11, 2008 Yes, for some people there is not healing from that kind of blow. Is the most destructive thing for their egos. It's not an "ego" thing it's a breaking a promise thing. How some folks can't see the difference is waaayyyy beyond my comprehension. But then, I guess some people have no expectations at all on how they should be treated. Link to post Share on other sites
tinktronik Posted June 11, 2008 Share Posted June 11, 2008 And here is the other thought. Is she doesn't divorce him right now, he is going to screw everything in sight from now on. You guys have to understand that for some guys, at that age, that a young girl wants to have sex with them is like going on a motorcycle ride, a steak dinner in a fancy restaurant, or one of those things. Yeah, if the guy is emotionally involved and is in love with the sister then yes, she'll have a problem. And hopefully she's not pregnant. Then the problem can get bigger with the financial support. Otherwise, no big deal. Just be mad with him for a bit, that's ok.. A steak dinner? Motorcycle ride? What are we 2 years old? As an adult we are to make decisions and exert some impulse control. Men aren't aliens from some different planet, they have impulse control too. Link to post Share on other sites
luvmy2ns Posted June 11, 2008 Share Posted June 11, 2008 I'm sorry, Ever. This is about you. And I can tell, from the tone of your posts, that you are heartbroken. I don't think it has a single thing to do with your "ego." What a cruel, lousy thing to say. Just because someone else has no self esteem and would allow their H to treat them like a doormat is no reason for you to. You have to search within yourself and decide if your H is worth keeping at this point. Could you ever trust him again? Do you think this is the first time he's messed around on you? Given that he was so brazen with your sister, I feel he's done this many times before. I don't know - it's just a feeling based on the current scenario. Link to post Share on other sites
Ariadne Posted June 11, 2008 Share Posted June 11, 2008 Yuk. I couldn't live that way. I have a higher view of myself than that. So I take it you let anyone you're in a relationship with screw around then? Ish. No, I never had to deal with that situation. Things are not always black and white. You divorce a man because you are not happy with him, because he is not a good husband. You have to understand what is important. Link to post Share on other sites
luvmy2ns Posted June 11, 2008 Share Posted June 11, 2008 No, I never had to deal with that situation. Things are not always black and white. You divorce a man because you are not happy with him, because he is not a good husband. You have to understand what is important. Someone who makes a promise and then takes a big, ol' dump on it? That's important to me, yes. Link to post Share on other sites
Ariadne Posted June 11, 2008 Share Posted June 11, 2008 I can tell, from the tone of your posts, that you are heartbroken. I don't think it has a single thing to do with your "ego." What a cruel, lousy thing to say. Yes, she is heartbroken. That has nothing to do with the ego. Not forgiving and forgetting, has. Link to post Share on other sites
luvmy2ns Posted June 11, 2008 Share Posted June 11, 2008 Some things cannot be forgotten. It's not like he forgot to take out the trash. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts