Beatnik Posted July 21, 2003 Share Posted July 21, 2003 Whats her deal? OK the behavior of this girl that I'm crazy about confuses the hell out of me, and I think the best way to show it is systematically: POSITIVE SIGNS: Accepts date purposals everytime she isnt busy, which she has never lied about (Don't think I'm a stalker, I just live in a small town, where everyone knows what everyone else is doing). Dresses up for every date By second date, starts volunteering personal information, the type you only tell someone you trust Her friends and family started paying extra attention to me after I first asked her out After a month lapse in communication, she seeks me out and tells me that we should hang out more often By second date body language is indicating good things (Legs crossed towards me, touching, etc) Often drops hints about how she likes to be treated, which is the way I treat girls anyway. Tells me she hates jocks, cocky guys, and a**h***s (All of which she knows I'm not Volunteered the fact that the only two guys I ever thought she might be with were nothing more than friends, even though I never indicated anything about it. Identical tastes in music Similar views on politics When in school, we smile and say hi whenever we pass in the halls. She seemed nervous the first couple of times I asked her out. Sometimes goes out of her way to get my attention when I don't notice her. NEGATIVE SIGNS: When ever its not just the two of us together, she almost completely ignores me NEVER calls me, weather it be to ask to hang our or even just to talk. Doesnt treat me like any of the other guys she knows. Never just comes up and starts converstations, I initiate practically EVERYTHING. Now even though there are less negative signs, they hold more weight individually than any one of the positive signs. Now I am somewhat decent-looking I think. I am confident, nice but not TOO nice, easy to talk to, funny, and a pretty sweet guy overall. I just want to know what you guys think about the whole situation. Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted July 21, 2003 Share Posted July 21, 2003 Why you put so much more weight to the negative is your crooked scorekeeper in action. I have no idea why people do this. Let's check your's out.... NEGATIVE SIGNS: 1. "When ever its not just the two of us together, she almost completely ignores me" She probably sees this as an opportunity to socialize with other people. Rather than going on for a long period of time and breaking up with you because she "needs space" she is getting it within the context of the relationship. That's a good thing. At least you are there...and you do get good one-on-one attention when you're alone with her. This sounds GREAT to me. When you're out with other people, ignore her as well and get some space for yourself to. WOW, this is exciting. 2. "NEVER calls me, weather it be to ask to hang our or even just to talk." WOW!!! She's an old fashioned lady. She does things like they used to do in the days of old when gentlemen made the moves and ladies were ladies. This is GREAT!!! You call her when you want to talk to her. Now, if you have a need for her to call you so you know she is interested in talking to you, let her know. She'll probably tell you either she doesn't normally call guys or she's just not a phone person. Don't be so quick to judge this as bad. I think it's terrific. 3. "Doesnt treat me like any of the other guys she knows." WOW, that's GREAT!!! She treats you special. She treats you differently because she feels differently about you. Maybe she's nervous. If she treated you exactly like she treated every other guy, that wouldn't make you feel so special to her. Maybe you're just impossible to please. If she treats you oddly or there are certain things about the way she treats you that bother you, tell her. Get her feedback. I would never, ever want to seriously date a lady who treated me just like every other guy on the block. 4. "Never just comes up and starts converstations, I initiate practically EVERYTHING." WOW, terrific!!! She's a very considerate lady, too...boy have you found yourself a winner. She wants to talk about what YOU want to talk about. She isn't selfish and never wants to monopolize conversation with her own bull****. That's so wonderful. Where can I get ahold of this lady. If it's important to you for her to initiate conversations, let her know. See why she doesn't. It may be for the same reason she doesn't make phone calls to you. Similar thing to me. There are lots and lots of very good reasons why she waits for you to talk. Geeze...do you have any idea how many men would grab onto a woman like this for dear life!!! You have found a diamond and you don't even know it. Geeze!!! The way you produced these lists indicates you are looking for the perfect woman, in your eyes. I think you've got a gread lady here. If she made a list, I wonder what she would consider to be YOUR negative points. One of them, I'm sure, would be that you make these silly lists...if she knew about them. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Beatnik Posted July 21, 2003 Author Share Posted July 21, 2003 OK allow me to retort: On the whole thing about how she practically ignores me around other people: She doesnt do this when shes around strangers, she does it when shes around her friends, she never introduces me to the ones I don't know or anything, but then again, it IS a small town and I know them anyway. On the never calling topic: I would think that if I was actually important to her that she would call me often, but then again, the only person I have ever seen her call was her dad. Also she hangs out with her friends alot, but never invites me to come along or anything. Most of the time we spend together is on dates. On the possibility of her being nervous: This is probably the most confusing thing of them all. She's confident about everything else, so I dont really see why she would be nervous over a shmuck like me. I agree about what you said about her being such a great girl, which is probably why I want it to work so badly. I'm not looking for the perfect girl, because there is no such thing, im just looking for the one whos perfect for me, and I think I may have found her. I love every single thing about her, from the way she smells to the way she talks. I can comfortably say that I love this girl, but I am nervous about weather or not she likes me as more than a friend but she doesnt treat me like her other guy friends, but she also doesnt seem to treat me like someone shes interested in either, but who knows, maybe shes just being cautious so she wont get hurt. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Beatnik Posted July 21, 2003 Author Share Posted July 21, 2003 Come on I need replies!!! Link to post Share on other sites
abarabarea Posted July 22, 2003 Share Posted July 22, 2003 From a lady's view: On her ignoring you when around friends: I am very careful that I don't drop my friends b/c a guy comes along. I, for one, tend to ignore EVEN GUYS I LIKE when I'm with my friends because of this. Date time is date time. Friend time is friend time. You can combine the two, but not immediately. On the possibility of her being nervous: If she likes you, she's nervous Link to post Share on other sites
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