worried Posted July 21, 2003 Share Posted July 21, 2003 Just the other night i came home and found out my boyfriend had been masturbating over porn on the net, i worked this out myself by the way he was acting. the thing is before i went to work we were talking about different things and one of them was "if he get's excited over porn on the net" he told me NO to my face, then he said why would he because it's not the real thing. We've been together for 3 years now, and i don't know what i should do i love him a lot but i'm not sure if i can trust him or not. i'm not sure what to do any more its like all the trust has just walked out the door, i'm so upset over it and its harder because we've been together for 3 years, worst of all when i told him that i figured it out he still tryed to deny it but the truth finally came out along with how often he does it. i feel like such an idiot, please i need your help i'm considering breaking up with him but its hard cause i still love him Link to post Share on other sites
Heidi2 Posted July 21, 2003 Share Posted July 21, 2003 I would have a serious 101 convo with your bf... And ask him what about porn turns him on, etc. And, if he believes it all to be fake, then why does he insist on wasting his time viewing it.. when the real picture of "happiness" should be right before his eyes... YOU!!! If, when you have thee converstion with him, and he doesn't seem to be interested & or insisting that nothing is wrong here... then *think* about changing lanes... (as sad as this might be/feel). If you were to stay in a relationship such as this one.. Things "could" only lead to more than just porn... possibly cheating, & unforseen pleasure in all of many directions!! Link to post Share on other sites
Stone Posted July 21, 2003 Share Posted July 21, 2003 I'm sorry but ANY man that say's porn doesn't turn him on is full of it!! and its not their fault that's the way they we're made men are visual creatures as weman are emotional. I think you guy's need to have a conversation about your sexuality not his being turned on by naked chicks. If he wasn't .... youd really have something to worry about. Link to post Share on other sites
Stone Posted July 21, 2003 Share Posted July 21, 2003 P.S. You can't balme him for masterbating, ALL MEN DO IT!!! as for us but it's not cheating or wrong it's his body and he was the only one touching it...... Link to post Share on other sites
GreenGold Posted July 29, 2003 Share Posted July 29, 2003 Guys masturbate. Guys like looking at porn. Guys like to masturbate while looking at porn. If you boyfriend likes looking at porn, it DOSE NOT take away from his feelings toward you. Sometimes guys just like to masturbate, and the easiest way is with a visual stimulus i.e. porn. I guess if it is taking away from you sex life then it could be a problem. I guess he lied to you about looking at porn because he felt embarrassed about his little habit. Go easy on him. Who knows, maybe you guys could enjoy it together? Link to post Share on other sites
Stone Posted August 1, 2003 Share Posted August 1, 2003 Oh buy the way......I read today that men who masterbate have 30% less of a chance from getting prostate cancer. So he's just practicing good health.HEHEHE Link to post Share on other sites
shaunca Posted August 1, 2003 Share Posted August 1, 2003 My ex confronted me about the same thing when we were going out. It is really just a guy thing and has nothing to do with his feelings towards you. More than likely he just wants something different or more kinky in the bedroom with you and is probably too shy to go about asking it. Link to post Share on other sites
Jamie31 Posted August 1, 2003 Share Posted August 1, 2003 Um, how about this - NOTHING! He's a guy....guys look at porn, it's just what they do. It doesn't mean he wants to cheat, or that he is being decietful, it's just a guy thing. What if he got mad everytime you watched a Soap Opera or something stupid like that? Look, until he is actually having an online love affair, I wouldn't worry about. So what if he is looking at some fake titties? You are the one he crawls in bed with at night, right? So who cares? Just let it be. It will only cause a fight, and in the end, he's not going to stop looking at porn. It's just a guy thing, let it go. It is NOT that big of a a deal! GEEZ!! Link to post Share on other sites
superd Posted August 1, 2003 Share Posted August 1, 2003 hey, this may sound harsh but if you are thinking about dumping your bf for looking at porn then maybe you don't really love him. If you were in love you would talk to the issue out to a compromise that is satisfactory on both ends. But even if you are not superdupper madly in love with him, beware of just dumping him, it is becoming harder and harder to even find someone that that you can even at least chill with these days. oh and i disagree with nurse jamie at least somewhat, if confronted he might very well drop the porn to keep you, but that is just going to mean that you are going to have to put more effort in the bedroom and more frequently too, which are things that maybe you don't want to do for one reason or another. So you have to let him look at the porn, help him realize that he doesn't really need it because its harming the relationship because he gets enough sex to live on with you or your going to have to give him more action. There are your options uncluttered by your typical psychologists vain attempts to figure you out without taking the obvious into account, that sex is sometimes more important then we figure and no amount of psychologizing is going to make a horny person unhorny. Link to post Share on other sites
PLAYBOYANGEL26 Posted September 15, 2005 Share Posted September 15, 2005 Look First Off To All The Guys That Say It's No Big Deal. It Is To Some Of Us Woman. I Have Kinda The Same Thing Going On Only The Differace Is That I Am The One How Brought The Porn Into The Relionship. I Am Bi And I Have Told Him That I Want Use To Trying A Three Some He Dont Want To Hes Says And That Porn Dont Do Nothing For Him But I Cought Him Red Headed The Other Moning Watching It. I Have Asked Him To Get Himself Off In Front Of Me He Wont Do That. So When This Happens What Do You Do. I Was Going To Leave Him . We Talk It Over And We Came To The Fact That We Watch It Together And If One Wants To Watch And The Other Dont We Dont Push It . And That I Hideall Movies From Him That Was His Idea Not Mine. I Dont Know How Big You Are On Porn Watching With Your Boyfriend But You Might Want To Give It A Try If You Have Not Already. Link to post Share on other sites
sanne Posted September 15, 2005 Share Posted September 15, 2005 Look First Off To All The Guys That Say It's No Big Deal. It Is To Some Of Us Woman. I Have Kinda The Same Thing Going On Only The Differace Is That I Am The One How Brought The Porn Into The Relionship. I Am Bi And I Have Told Him That I Want Use To Trying A Three Some He Dont Want To Hes Says And That Porn Dont Do Nothing For Him But I Cought Him Red Headed The Other Moning Watching It. I Have Asked Him To Get Himself Off In Front Of Me He Wont Do That. So When This Happens What Do You Do. I Was Going To Leave Him . We Talk It Over And We Came To The Fact That We Watch It Together And If One Wants To Watch And The Other Dont We Dont Push It . And That I Hideall Movies From Him That Was His Idea Not Mine. I Dont Know How Big You Are On Porn Watching With Your Boyfriend But You Might Want To Give It A Try If You Have Not Already. my god i've never seen someone try and capitalize every word. congrats. Link to post Share on other sites
PLAYBOYANGEL26 Posted September 15, 2005 Share Posted September 15, 2005 I Like To Be Seen And Heard Link to post Share on other sites
cosis Posted September 15, 2005 Share Posted September 15, 2005 haha - well it's definatelly not fun finding out but we all do it....... Some tell ya, some dont. Link to post Share on other sites
TUDOR Posted September 15, 2005 Share Posted September 15, 2005 haha - well it's definatelly not fun finding out but we all do it....... Some tell ya, some dont. This is the truth....if guys could lick their own balls they would but you would never find out about it! Relax and let him punch his clown in peace. Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted September 15, 2005 Share Posted September 15, 2005 if guys could lick their own balls they would but you would never find out about it! :lmao: How true ... Have you ever tried ?? Link to post Share on other sites
TUDOR Posted September 15, 2005 Share Posted September 15, 2005 :lmao: How true ... Have you ever tried ?? Well ya.... Just not flexible enough! Link to post Share on other sites
JS17 Posted September 15, 2005 Share Posted September 15, 2005 This is the truth....if guys could lick their own balls they would but you would never find out about it! Relax and let him punch his clown in peace. :laugh: :laugh: Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted September 15, 2005 Share Posted September 15, 2005 Well ya.... Just not flexible enough! Same here Link to post Share on other sites
TUDOR Posted September 15, 2005 Share Posted September 15, 2005 Same here I watch my dogs do it with great envy! Lucky bastards!! Link to post Share on other sites
lindya Posted September 15, 2005 Share Posted September 15, 2005 my god i've never seen someone try and capitalize every word. congrats. I was impressed by that too. I was wondering if there's some sort of hidden keyboard function to let you do it automatically. Liked the deliberate typos too, PlayBoyGirl. The one about catching your boyfriend red-headed while he was looking at porn was top notch Apart from investing in some of those keyboard wipes you can buy, my advice to the OP would be not to worry about this - but to stay alert to any changes in his behaviour (particularly in the bedroom) that would suggest he's being unduly influenced by porn. The fact that your sweetheart denies wanking over internet porn isn't necessarily a major betrayal in your relationship. It could simply be that he's not keen to discuss the fine details of his masturbation sessions. Maybe brings back memories of his mother knocking on the bedroom door and shrieking "Whatya doing in there, and why have you got the door locked?" Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted September 15, 2005 Share Posted September 15, 2005 If he beats off in the shower every day..While you weren't there like he has been doing his whole lifeand like most guys do then would you still be all hurt ? I think you are not looking at this right.. You need to be looking at why your relationship is not fullfilling to you Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted September 16, 2005 Share Posted September 16, 2005 Well ya.... Just not flexible enough! Uhmm, there was a 'self sucking' thread somewhere recently! Same here Oh AC, keep trying, practice makes perfect...Or just be like TUDOR and watch your dog...(if you have one...) PS Let me know if either of you two actually are able to do it!! Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted September 16, 2005 Share Posted September 16, 2005 Oh AC, keep trying, practice makes perfect...Or just be like TUDOR and watch your dog...(if you have one...) Hummm.. I gave up a long time ago .. But my dog ( check out my avatar ) is a female.. So I get to watch her lick herself.. Link to post Share on other sites
Starnette83 Posted September 16, 2005 Share Posted September 16, 2005 Hey Worried, you have every right to be upset, I remember how I felt when i found my bf watching porn, especially after we had been sexually active, it was the most disrespectful thing ever. Because its ok if a guy has no girlfriend and has no one to have sex with and watches porn because he has no choice to ejacul.ate, but when he has a girlfriend, who has sex with him and pleases him and yet he watches porn its really disgusting, because that means they have no self control, and if it was a real girl, with her legs spread open then they would just go for it, it is really shady because if they cant control themselves with something so fake as a computer screen with naked girls what makes u think they can control themselves with a REAL LIVE GIRL, who is teasing them and touching them, PLEAAAAAAASE!! i hate that, i really do, i would cry and explain to my guy about this...but i would always catch porn until i just told him that whatever he could watch porn but that i wouldnt sleep with him anymore because i considered it disgusting. So he can stick to his hand and his screen and after i said this, he said he wouldnt watch it anymore, but of course guys lie and he did one more time but promised me he wouldnt watch it as often...but anyways i dont know, think seriously with an addict, they are so dumb and dont deserve us to put up with there crap. Link to post Share on other sites
dr strangelove Posted September 17, 2005 Share Posted September 17, 2005 First off women probably masturbate more then men, while chances are you dont use the same stimulation as us. There is a huge supply of porn for women floating around, or should I just refer to by its real name "The romance novel" I had never had the inclination to crack one of these open, until I started selling used books. Wow pretty graphic!! On the situation. Dont expect him to give up porn, however if you would like to divert his attention to there are ways to do this. You could make your own amatuer films with him, take pictures, or other ways to excite his imagination. Maybe you could even try naughty phone conversations with him. Ultimately he has a normal sex drive. And at least he is being faithful, you should be thankful for porn for allowing that. Meanwhile continue on to chapter 5 in harlequin romance novel #58, the pirate orgy.... Link to post Share on other sites
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