Do you think its possible?

[Mustang Sally]

But, then again, when you see and hear such comments from people who have been together for decades, you have to wonder

I'm not sure what you are referring to here, carhill, but I think you are referring to having the "butterflies" feelings for decades? (Not continuously, of course, but being able to have those feelings for the same person, from time to time, longterm.)

 

I am amazed by these couples too. Surely, they are enviable, from where I currently stand. I wonder if a lot of their success, if you will, is simply because they have decided that they are (and will be) content with the person that they are with? Certainly, they must be extremely compatible, as well.

 

Good for them, I say! Wish they could let the rest of us in on the secret...

[carhill]

Well, my wife tells me she has never felt what I describe (I'll be getting to the gist of such topics in my journals, now started) and I take that comment as no insult to myself because I empathize with her and wish she had felt that with myself or someone in her life.

 

I do know people who have honestly shared this dynamic and, hopefully in another couple decades I can say with certainty what I've felt for a few decades is real or just another figment of my fertile imagination. So far, I'm optimistic

 

I will opine that, at least IME, a reversal takes place. In the early stages, one feels "butterflies" when contemplating connection and being with the person they have such feelings for. Over time, again IME, this evolves into a secure peaceful feeling with just a little edge when in their loved one's presence, cascading into a more marked feeling of loss/longing when at a distance. Depending on the emotional/spiritual connection, this feeling can ebb and flow, seemingly in unison. I'll try to describe it as accurately as possible in my journals. At some levels, it appears (since I can relate only my perception and accounts I've read) to be almost "twin" -like, sensing each others moods and presence whether near or far.

 

Weird stuff, and often debilitating, but I guess that's what makes life interesting

[loribethNC]

ok, this discussion makes me a bit worried. I am going on 5.5 weeks with no sex with my husband. He is a raging alcoholic and I am tired of doing it with a slobbering stumbling drunk. We also have been arguing since I took a "girls weekend" trip (my 1st ever) right before our last "roll in the hay". Ever since I got back he has had "trust" issues with me, (he says because I went even though he didn't want me to) Yeah I knew he didn't want me to go, but I don't want him to be drunk all the time and he doesn't care about that, so I said whatev!! Anyway, back to the sex... I am worried that he is getting it elsewhere. He has had I guess you would call them EA's before (texting with one girl, lunch with another - and we had a fight about that the day of and he got a hotel room which was never truthfully explained- a few other calls to girls he knew before me - one of which he had sex with "pre-me"- and these 4 people were all within the last year and a half. Should I give in and give it up or just stay my course. I think we are headed for a divorce, that has been my opinion for a while and it seems like we are going down that road, but if we aren't I don't want him back after he has screwed around!! What should I do??

[JackJack]

ok, this discussion makes me a bit worried. I am going on 5.5 weeks with no sex with my husband. He is a raging alcoholic and I am tired of doing it with a slobbering stumbling drunk. We also have been arguing since I took a "girls weekend" trip (my 1st ever) right before our last "roll in the hay". Ever since I got back he has had "trust" issues with me, (he says because I went even though he didn't want me to) Yeah I knew he didn't want me to go, but I don't want him to be drunk all the time and he doesn't care about that, so I said whatev!! Anyway, back to the sex... I am worried that he is getting it elsewhere. He has had I guess you would call them EA's before (texting with one girl, lunch with another - and we had a fight about that the day of and he got a hotel room which was never truthfully explained- a few other calls to girls he knew before me - one of which he had sex with "pre-me"- and these 4 people were all within the last year and a half. Should I give in and give it up or just stay my course. I think we are headed for a divorce, that has been my opinion for a while and it seems like we are going down that road, but if we aren't I don't want him back after he has screwed around!! What should I do??

 

 

And you stay why? If you're unhappy, and things just simply do not look like they are going to change after you've tried all you know to try, then checking things out with a lawyer might be the best way to go at this point. That is assuming he wont go to marriage counseling or AA? Of course he would have to ackowledge there's a problem first.