bball0076 Posted June 4, 2008 Share Posted June 4, 2008 i recently had a gf and we ended up breaking up a month ago, the reason why we broke up was due to always arguing with each other! we broke up to fix things but it hasnt been going all to well! last night i found out the real reason of why and its becuase she has an issue with commitment! she cant stay with a guy for x amount of months and she acts in a manner where its not neccsary. last night we talked about the entire thing and by this fri a decision will be made on what the out come will be! my questions are she has 3 dyas off that i wont see her, should i or should i not txt her today to she how she's doing? or should i give it today and the next 2 days to her self to think things over? also what would be the best thing to do in a sisuation like this? i do want things to work out and im willing to work and take as long as needed! also when fri comes what sort of stuff should i say? to make things better? Thank you in advance Link to post Share on other sites
JohnnyBlaze Posted June 4, 2008 Share Posted June 4, 2008 I'd give her until Friday. The first few days are just adapting to the situation; she's barely had a coherent thought about it by this point. Texting/calling/emailing her will only justify her decision (in her mind, anyway). Besides, if you wait until Friday, then there are no work/school/whatever distractions to prematurely end the conversation. This isn't one of those times where you can put it off because something else came up. In order to figure out what to say, you need to know why THIS relationship is ending. "Because it's what she's always done" isn't an answer, either; it's just case history. What is it about this particular relation that she doesn't like? Until you can get an answer to that, there isn't much else that you can say or do. What did the two of you typically do in the weeks/months leading up to the breakup? Did you try anything new or big recently? From what I've seen/been told, most of the time, the "it's time" excuse is a stand-in for boredom. If the relation has become predictable, then things need to be shaken up. It's time to get your wild on. Just my 2¢. Link to post Share on other sites
Author bball0076 Posted June 4, 2008 Author Share Posted June 4, 2008 i'll write back what i wrote on other forums! She is in her final year of college and i have my real full time job. i'm 22 and she is 21, All her previous bf she has push away because she is afraid of commitment, she does not like the fact of being with somebody for a very long time and tends to push that person away so the relationship becomes miserable, yesterday was the first day she told me this and i had no clue, i knew she was pushing me away and all this time i thought it was my fault and i pretty much went outta my way to fix the things needed to make it work! The reason why i want this to work out is becuase i do love her and i know she does as well, and the only thing holding back is the commitment part. its not like im asking her hand in marriage or anything! the bottom line is if things end up not working at least i wanna be able to help her with her flaw so when the next guy comes she wont have such a big issues like she has with me and in the past! I pretty much know everyone who she has dated, and her longest, serious relationship i guess you can say was a year 1/2, that ended up not working out that well and she ended up breaking up with him because she no longer liked him, now the kid hates her for that because he to loved her alot i know previous to that she dated this guy who she really liked, she thought that she was going to get dumped so she ended up dumping him before he did, but in fact he had no intent to dump her! long story short now he ended up proposing to this girl a few months later and before he announced it he asked my ex if she would marry her, and of course she said no and i know she liked him and he did as well, so right now hes married and living in another state and they still talk every now and then! A thing with her is before we started dating we actually hated each other in high school and at work, we still work together but i have another job and i'm hardly at the place anymore! so we ended up slowly becoming friends through one of my other friends and from there, it evolved in to something bigger which ended up with us dating. one of the things with her is, that all of her guy friends, who she hangs out with they always wanted to be more then friends and when that happens and she or him dumps one another the guy usually hates her and does not wanna talk to her anymore, and for that she does not like dating friends, i myself am not like any other guy whos going to stop talking to my ex, i do still love her and she is my one of my best friends ever and i would still like to keep that! For trust i know she trust me a great day and knows that i'll alway tel her the truth no matter what.. there was one point probably 2 or so months ago where the **** hit the fan and i told her that i didn't trust her when she went out, mainly due to her not telling me things that happen and then me finding out later on that week! they were nothing bad but its the principle of knowing and not finding out later that week if not weeks later on! Link to post Share on other sites
Author bball0076 Posted June 6, 2008 Author Share Posted June 6, 2008 In your words whats considered to be casual dating? thats what she wants to do now! Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts