Loss 4 words Posted June 4, 2008 Share Posted June 4, 2008 ( I broke up with my now-ex after she ignored my calls and voice messages and after for the last month she was becoming increasingly distant and pulling away from me/ signs of affection.) So I was checking my "place for friends" this morning and it said that i had a new message and i assumed it was from one of my close friends.....but it was from my ex g/f.........yeah, my jaw hit the computer desk.....what randomness....so i even hesitated in opening it and just deleting it, but i figured that there was no harm in opening it, so i did and wow.....was was shocked....all she wrote was "Hi" nothing more, nothing less. Do i write back or do i just sit on it for a few and see what happens ? I'm comfortable now being civil with her, but there is NO chance that i'll go back.....don't need the drama. I'm not sure that the whole "friends"thing would work at this point, but i can't in my heart totally write her off....she was my first. Link to post Share on other sites
tinktronik Posted June 4, 2008 Share Posted June 4, 2008 ( I broke up with my now-ex after she ignored my calls and voice messages and after for the last month she was becoming increasingly distant and pulling away from me/ signs of affection.) So I was checking my "place for friends" this morning and it said that i had a new message and i assumed it was from one of my close friends.....but it was from my ex g/f.........yeah, my jaw hit the computer desk.....what randomness....so i even hesitated in opening it and just deleting it, but i figured that there was no harm in opening it, so i did and wow.....was was shocked....all she wrote was "Hi" nothing more, nothing less. Do i write back or do i just sit on it for a few and see what happens ? I'm comfortable now being civil with her, but there is NO chance that i'll go back.....don't need the drama. I'm not sure that the whole "friends"thing would work at this point, but i can't in my heart totally write her off....she was my first. Better to not just respond. Sounds like she did not even give you the courtesy of breaking it off with you , just went off the grid. Responding may very well start up the whole thing again. Most likely you respond and she never responds back. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Loss 4 words Posted June 4, 2008 Author Share Posted June 4, 2008 Better to not just respond. Sounds like she did not even give you the courtesy of breaking it off with you , just went off the grid. Responding may very well start up the whole thing again. Most likely you respond and she never responds back. She didn't even try to explain.....I broke up with her via email......she tried calling about a week later, but that's about it.....guess you don't know what you've got until it's gone. Link to post Share on other sites
justine4 Posted June 4, 2008 Share Posted June 4, 2008 Did she break up with you via email? Did you speak when she tried calling a week later? There could be any number of reasons that she became withdrawn and distant(and I'm not excusing the rudeness of not answering your calls/messages) but maybe there was something going on in the back ground? I'd maybe text a quick reply to her, just to say hello, hows things? See where she goes from there. If she opens up a little bit, you'll get a bit more of an insight about why she behaved as she did, and then it'll put your mind at rest a little, and you can decide if you do want to go down the 'friends' route, or perhaps she might even want more? Who knows? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Loss 4 words Posted June 4, 2008 Author Share Posted June 4, 2008 Did she break up with you via email? Did you speak when she tried calling a week later? There could be any number of reasons that she became withdrawn and distant(and I'm not excusing the rudeness of not answering your calls/messages) but maybe there was something going on in the back ground? I'd maybe text a quick reply to her, just to say hello, hows things? See where she goes from there. If she opens up a little bit, you'll get a bit more of an insight about why she behaved as she did, and then it'll put your mind at rest a little, and you can decide if you do want to go down the 'friends' route, or perhaps she might even want more? Who knows? I broke up with her via email..... I didn't answer when she called becasue i couldn't deal with it then...too many raw emotions still and she didn't bother to leave a message.... Link to post Share on other sites
CaliGuy Posted June 4, 2008 Share Posted June 4, 2008 No! Do not answer her. This is called "bait". She wants to boost her ego and self-confidence by making sure you are still hung up on her. You will tell her, by your complete and utter silence, many things. Let her mind race on all the possibilities while you move on with your life. Link to post Share on other sites
foxh1234 Posted June 4, 2008 Share Posted June 4, 2008 No! Do not answer her. This is called "bait". She wants to boost her ego and self-confidence by making sure you are still hung up on her. You will tell her, by your complete and utter silence, many things. Let her mind race on all the possibilities while you move on with your life. Agreed. Give her nothing!! Silence speaks louder than anything you could say. Link to post Share on other sites
serendip Posted June 4, 2008 Share Posted June 4, 2008 all she wrote was "Hi" nothing more, nothing less. That's not even a email...that's a poke(remember me, I'm still here)... Link to post Share on other sites
jon01 Posted June 4, 2008 Share Posted June 4, 2008 Look it's pretty simple: If you are clear and comfortable with the idea you will never get back together with her, then DO NOT respond. Don't lead her on and don't waste your time. But if you are still hanging on for something, then write back to say hi and hows it going. Link to post Share on other sites
Meaplus3 Posted June 4, 2008 Share Posted June 4, 2008 ( I broke up with my now-ex after she ignored my calls and voice messages and after for the last month she was becoming increasingly distant and pulling away from me/ signs of affection.) So I was checking my "place for friends" this morning and it said that i had a new message and i assumed it was from one of my close friends.....but it was from my ex g/f.........yeah, my jaw hit the computer desk.....what randomness....so i even hesitated in opening it and just deleting it, but i figured that there was no harm in opening it, so i did and wow.....was was shocked....all she wrote was "Hi" nothing more, nothing less. Do i write back or do i just sit on it for a few and see what happens ? I'm comfortable now being civil with her, but there is NO chance that i'll go back.....don't need the drama. I'm not sure that the whole "friends"thing would work at this point, but i can't in my heart totally write her off....she was my first. Just simply let it go! You broke up with her via email you now owe her nothing. She's probably looking for a little "Ego' stroke is all. AP:) Link to post Share on other sites
Author Loss 4 words Posted June 4, 2008 Author Share Posted June 4, 2008 That's not even a email...that's a poke(remember me, I'm still here)... Sorry, I don't remember you, I'm new here...lol Thank You ! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Loss 4 words Posted June 4, 2008 Author Share Posted June 4, 2008 Look it's pretty simple: If you are clear and comfortable with the idea you will never get back together with her, then DO NOT respond. Don't lead her on and don't waste your time. But if you are still hanging on for something, then write back to say hi and hows it going. All I'm waiting for is an explanation....a darn good one too...she and I both knew that she had alot on her plate when we started, with her school, work and her kid, but somehow we made things work...for a while.... I DON't want to date her, see her, or even talk....email maybe....but...funny and kinda off-topic, we met on one of those internet dating sights and her first message to me was "what's up" so to say the least i'm use to her short messages I'm one of those very emotional type people who like to know where i stand with people and have a clear communication with my friends....just ask my friend "K" she'll tell ya...lol .... I LIKE closure on past issues, this one too, but I was hurt enough to not care enough if i ever get one....I made peace with myself and my consinse so....i guess you could say that the ball is in her court.....(afterthought....i SHOULDA blocked her from sending me messages on there....would have made this whole thing easier....but it's not too late...LOL) Link to post Share on other sites
CaliGuy Posted June 4, 2008 Share Posted June 4, 2008 All I'm waiting for is an explanation....a darn good one too...she and I both knew that she had alot on her plate when we started, with her school, work and her kid, but somehow we made things work...for a while.... I DON't want to date her, see her, or even talk....email maybe....but...funny and kinda off-topic, we met on one of those internet dating sights and her first message to me was "what's up" so to say the least i'm use to her short messages I'm one of those very emotional type people who like to know where i stand with people and have a clear communication with my friends....just ask my friend "K" she'll tell ya...lol .... I LIKE closure on past issues, this one too, but I was hurt enough to not care enough if i ever get one....I made peace with myself and my consinse so....i guess you could say that the ball is in her court.....(afterthought....i SHOULDA blocked her from sending me messages on there....would have made this whole thing easier....but it's not too late...LOL) Then don't reply under any circumstances. Besides, a simple "Hi" doesn't warrant a response in my book. Call it trolling, fishing, whatever. She's simply seeking an ego boost which she will get the minute you reply. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Loss 4 words Posted June 4, 2008 Author Share Posted June 4, 2008 Then don't reply under any circumstances. Besides, a simple "Hi" doesn't warrant a response in my book. Call it trolling, fishing, whatever. She's simply seeking an ego boost which she will get the minute you reply. Not planning on it as of now...gonna sit and see if she tries again...she knows that i read it....LMAO....i guess that now she will know what I felt like for so long....at least I bothered to say more than "Hi" Link to post Share on other sites
justaman99 Posted June 4, 2008 Share Posted June 4, 2008 all she wrote was "Hi" nothing more, nothing less. Agreed. no reply. A one word email is just bs. Link to post Share on other sites
sid3 Posted June 4, 2008 Share Posted June 4, 2008 yep she's trolling. Sounds like she wants to know your still hung up on her. I doubt she'd respond if you were to reply. Let her wonder. Link to post Share on other sites
Loukos_od Posted June 4, 2008 Share Posted June 4, 2008 Do u want to yurt her ? write back ina a way like u just dont want to hurt her . this hurts a looot trust me Link to post Share on other sites
sid3 Posted June 5, 2008 Share Posted June 5, 2008 If you really can't resist in replying, then the only other option would be to reply to her 'Hi' with, your own 'Hi" and leave it at that. Link to post Share on other sites
jadedone Posted June 5, 2008 Share Posted June 5, 2008 If you really can't resist in replying, then the only other option would be to reply to her 'Hi' with, your own 'Hi" and leave it at that. I agree with this idea. but wait a day or two to send it. Link to post Share on other sites
justaman99 Posted June 5, 2008 Share Posted June 5, 2008 What about a "Bye" instead? Link to post Share on other sites
Exl Posted June 5, 2008 Share Posted June 5, 2008 What about a "Bye" instead? that would be sweet lol. yet i'm all out on favour of no reply at all. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Loss 4 words Posted June 6, 2008 Author Share Posted June 6, 2008 Got another email on Thursday (June 5) and it read " I take it your not ready to talk to me?" and this sent me into a tailspin...a storm of fury.....she knew when we were together that i hated assumption....so i responded as such " I've been busy getting impaled and keeping myself busy. Please don't assume...you should know me better than that." Yeah, i was a bit mean, but I was heated and was annoyed with the fact that she didn't even allow me a day to respond.... Was i furious...yeah....why do you keep emailing me....i sense a little lonelyness...but this 'old shoe' ain't going back. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Loss 4 words Posted June 6, 2008 Author Share Posted June 6, 2008 i guess she still knows you love her, you blew it, your still in pocket. she can now do whatever she wants. I don't still love her.... And SHE blew it....I was the one to end it and she can do whatever she wants....doesn't mean that i have to listen.... And i'm still not in pocket....she's not 'mine' anymore..... Link to post Share on other sites
brightskies Posted June 6, 2008 Share Posted June 6, 2008 The absolute best reply would've been no reply at all. Writing her in anger was a mistake --- from now on don't ever again give her the satisfaction of any sort of reaction. Link to post Share on other sites
jon01 Posted June 6, 2008 Share Posted June 6, 2008 The only sad thing about this board and relationship "meeting places" like this is that the significant other could be getting the very same advice. So here we are telling one guy NC NC NC, then she's somewhere else hearing the same BS. Where does that leave things? Like Russia and the USA in cold war era. My feel is, if you really love your woman/man, listen to your heart sometimes and even if you break this silly "NC" once in a while, big deal. Sometimes you will feel better to spill what's in your heart, whether your pissed or whether you just want to say I love you. Bottom line is you shouldn't have to rely on NC when it starts to cross that line and causes you undue frustration or sadness. Link to post Share on other sites
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