6 weeks to go. And nervous!

[NeverLetMeDownAgain]

So, after nearly 18 months of planning and waiting, I'm down to 6 short weeks before I see my best friend-turned-romantic interest. I am traveling an extremely long way to see him (nearly ten thousand miles), and I'm... nervous is a good way to put it, although I also think it's an understatement. I've never traveled more than maybe 1500 miles from home in my life, and just the trip itself has me on edge (I don't like flying - at all).

 

Maybe I'm just writing this to vent, I don't know, but how common is the nervousness and butterflies in the stomach just before you see your interest? I'm suffering with a bad case! I know that 6 weeks is still a bit of time, but after 18 months of what's probably been the most up-and-down relationship ever, it's going to pass in the blink of an eye. I've been packing my suitcase, unpacking, throwing clothes all over the house ("no, no, he'll hate me in that"), my house looks like a wreck! And I've got little movies in my head of what might or might not happen when we finally see each other - will I squeeze him until he can't breathe, what will I say to him, how can I be sure I don't make any mistakes, on and on, eesh. I can't relax!!!

 

This sounds disjointed, but it matters because we both have some, uh, emotional and trust issues that we've both had to work very hard at overcoming (oddly, not with each other, but with other people really hurting the both of us in the past). Things on that front have finally settled down and it's starting to turn into something really good now. This is the best we've been with each other since it all began.

 

Anyhow... how do you deal with the butterflies and the anticipation when the time starts to approach? Do you talk it out, do you try to keep it hidden so you won't look a psycho, what? I really need to relax, but it's hard, ugh!

[Catherina]

Oh I LOVE that nervous feeling I get before seeing my man! Because we had separated for awhile, we went almost two years one time without seeing each other, and I remember that before I saw him (and when I was on the plane on my way) I just felt like I was going to throw up! I was SO EXCITED, too, I just wanted to tell everyone around me, "I'm going to reunite with the love of my life!" I would enjoy this feeling for now. It is just because you are excited, and you have every right to feel that way! To be honest, it gets old after awhile once you determine you really want to be together, but I have to say I will never forget the butterflies I get in my stomach right before I see him. OH - and walking out of customs where I know he'll first greet me - that is SO nerve wracking, but I love it when we first lock eyes - amazing!

 

I have to admit, I've never gotten quite as worked up as you are six weeks before, but I usually start going crazy a few days before...hey, it's good motivation to work out and make sure you look good!

 

Just take a deep breath and be yourself with him. He's obviously into you for who YOU are, so just keep on being that wonderful person he loves!

 

Oh yeah, I hate flying. I am actually afraid of crashing, as I am sure lots of people are, but that's never stopped me. Good for you for overcoming your fears and going to see him!

 

Where does he live? And how did you meet?? This sounds like a wonderful story!!!

[Linnor]

I think it's perfectly normal to have butterflies and feeling a bit anxious too after such a long time apart. Don't worry about that. It's a normal reaction to be super happy one minute thinking about how great it'll all be and have minor panic attacks the next worrying it won't work out the way you hope.

 

Ok, so your question was how to deal with these emotions, since it's six weeks to go. One way is exactly what you're already doing: making plans, dreaming about different types of scenarios- that's fine, as long as you keep in mind it will probably turn out totally different! (I don't mean that in a bad way). Enjoy the butterflies! Isn't it a great feeling? But if it's driving you crazy, I think the best way to make those six week pass is to keep busy. Make plans with friends, start some type of project (house work, crafts or whatever.), fill your days. And travelling that far means you probably have lots of things to do (shopping, packing, passport...), that will keep you busy aswell.

 

Good luck and don't forget to enjoy those butterflies! (I agree with Catherina, I'd like to hear your story aswell.)

[Habibti]

It is 2 weeks until I meet mine..FOR THE FIRST TIME. We are both extremely nervous ; we have built such an emotional attatchment and great bond but we are still worried wether there will be chemistry and attraction there ; we have both seen eachothers pics, (face and body) and we both like what we see but it's still nerve wracking; esp for me! I'm a curvier girl, he says I look good to him and I do think I look good but there's still always that tempting thought about "would he like me more if I were skinnier".

 

But, we've done all we can do and I hope everything goes well!

[Indigo]

I agree with the previous posters that it's totally natural to get the butterflies. I have been in a LDR with my boyfriend for almost 2 years now, we meet every 2-3 months and i still get the butterflies.

 

For me the evenings are the hardest when I have finished everything for the day and there's nothing left to occupy my mind.

 

6 weeks seems ages away so I don't get the butterflies that early anymore (I did at the beginning of our relationship though) but to me the last week or 2 seem the longest, like everything is moving in slow motion.

 

Talking it out doesn't really work for us.. because.. well.. he is just like a kid at Christmas as well.

 

I am not a fan of flying either, but I hate the time at the airport (check-in, delayed flights, long connection time) even more. I always buy a few magazines/books to keep me busy or fully charge my ipod. Flying early in the morning helps as well and sometimes I manage to doze off on the plane. Sleeping means not counting the seconds left until you meet your loved one, and anything that gets my mind off that is perfect. So I usually try to wear myself out the previous night (travel anxiety and such are not enough to wear me out :S) by quadruple-checking the luggage as well as have a facial, shower, shave, waxing, do all the nails, etc. I usually try to leave hairdressers appointment for the last week aswell (1. gives me something to do; 2. the fresh look lasts longer), and to spread out the shopping over the last week.

 

Good luck and cherish the butterflies (because if there is none then why bother)!!! <3

[NeverLetMeDownAgain]

Where does he live? And how did you meet?? This sounds like a wonderful story!!!

 

I am in the midwestern U.S. He is in southern Australia.

 

We met, of all places, on a technical (think geeky!) forum! A couple of good rounds of "No, you can't program Linux that way" and we were instant best friends, hah! Two years (almost exact, we met May 30th) later...

 

That's just it - I think this is what sets my particular situation apart from the usual, in that we started out as friends to begin with, we'd never intended for things to go as far as they ended up doing. After all, ten thousand miles apart - what chance have you got - so we both thought. Over time, that ended up being "weeell... maybe in time...."

 

I'm going over there with the full mindset of, "If things don't work out the way we hope, at least we'll still be best friends". It's gotten to the point where I'd honestly say that I trust him above all others I know - he says the same, luckily. My head still kind of whispers, "Don't be foolish, he's going to hurt you so bad", heh, but I try for a change to listen to my heart and not my head.

 

He's already making semi-concrete plans to move over to the States, though it won't be for a while, due to financial constraints (he's in school currently, as am I). The first thing I told him was, "Don't do it on my account - come here because you want it." I'm confident of that, as he... well, he hates Australia, to put it bluntly, heh.

 

I'm confident that there'll be a place for me in his life. I'm just not sure as, well, what. I'm okay if it's just best friends - my ultimate goal is to see him happy, no matter his situation.

 

Wow, I think that's true love there.

 

Enjoy the butterflies! Isn't it a great feeling? But if it's driving you crazy, I think the best way to make those six week pass is to keep busy. Make plans with friends, start some type of project (house work, crafts or whatever.), fill your days. And travelling that far means you probably have lots of things to do (shopping, packing, passport...), that will keep you busy aswell.

 

I have a ton of things to do! One minute I'm overdoing it - packing like everything I need - then I'm taking it all out again! And then the next day I'm like, "Oh, sheesh, what's the rush, it's 6 weeks away.." I can't seem to make up my mind, lol!

 

I've never had such a clean house in my life, though. I've been vacuuming and dusting like mad.

 

I am trying to make a little time for myself, though. I am not employed right now - I start school in September - so I'm sort of just for once taking it easy and investigating things I want to do. I should focus on that while the time ticks down, I guess. It's hard, though.

 

I am not a fan of flying either, but I hate the time at the airport (check-in, delayed flights, long connection time) even more. I always buy a few magazines/books to keep me busy or fully charge my ipod. Flying early in the morning helps as well and sometimes I manage to doze off on the plane. Sleeping means not counting the seconds left until you meet your loved one, and anything that gets my mind off that is perfect.

 

I think I probably wrangled the worst connections in the history of aviation. In the interest of saving money, I ended up with an 11 hour layover on the West Coast, leaving late at night, ending up with a transfer to Auckland at like 6am, another 3 hour layover, then a flight to Sydney, then a 5 hour layover to his city. Ugh.

 

I think I'm actually going to lose two days if I count the dateline factor in! I knew I should have spent the extra thousand, lol!

 

Ah, well. It's all worth it.

[Magpies]

OMG! I can't believe someone else shares a similar story! In a nutshell, I'm meeting my nerd (and he's the most wonderful nerd ever) in 7 weeks, we've known each other for 3 years, met on a game, it was completely platonic, and only recently turned into something more. We're both working adults and both of us want more out of this ... so we'll see.

 

When you wrote he is your best friend-turned-romantic interest, I seriously couldn't have chosen a better way to describe my LDR -- especially how you chose to write romantic interest instead of the typical 'love' interest! Ha! I'm so the same!

 

BTW, I'll give you the advice my friends gave me: When you first meet, don't act cool. I think Ill just stare at him for awhile ... that or automatically make-out, think Amelie style. Hehee!

[NeverLetMeDownAgain]

BTW, I'll give you the advice my friends gave me: When you first meet, don't act cool. I think Ill just stare at him for awhile ... that or automatically make-out, think Amelie style. Hehee!

 

LMAO, that's the spirit!

 

When you wrote he is your best friend-turned-romantic interest, I seriously couldn't have chosen a better way to describe my LDR -- especially how you chose to write romantic interest instead of the typical 'love' interest!

 

Nothing about our relationship is 'typical', it's so weird. Over time we've found out so much about each other that's similar... it's almost as if the two of us were separated at birth. (No, no chance of that, I made sure and asked my parents, hah.)

 

He is most definitely my best friend... and one of the few people in the world I trust completely. Even if our romantic relationship ended or died...it would still be okay, because he'd be in my life.