Author LoveLace Posted June 14, 2008 Author Share Posted June 14, 2008 Exactly Mary, so he f*ckd up, I don't give 2 hoots if he's mad at me. We haven't called each other at all today. I know that I had sex with him, but that doesn't give him the right to call me a lazy a$$ when I don't feel like going out. I've been nothing but nice even though he's been calling everyday to talk about b.s. If his ignorance was a result of thinking I don't want him, well he did a good job of making that official...trust me, I knew the reason behind his call, if I wasn't too tired I would have met up with them. Either way, when I said I'm staying home, he should have left it at that... New guy invited me over to "watch a movie" at his place tomorrow night...but he's a sweet heart (well so far)...cuz he even asked if I'd rather go out or if I'd mind just hanging at his place...I thought it nice of him to leave it up to me anyway... Well thanks for all your input Mary and everyone else. Thanks for agreeing that the guy was disrespectful! Link to post Share on other sites
Mary3 Posted June 15, 2008 Share Posted June 15, 2008 Exactly Mary, so he f*ckd up, I don't give 2 hoots if he's mad at me. We haven't called each other at all today. I know that I had sex with him, but that doesn't give him the right to call me a lazy a$$ when I don't feel like going out. I've been nothing but nice even though he's been calling everyday to talk about b.s. If his ignorance was a result of thinking I don't want him, well he did a good job of making that official...trust me, I knew the reason behind his call, if I wasn't too tired I would have met up with them. Either way, when I said I'm staying home, he should have left it at that... New guy invited me over to "watch a movie" at his place tomorrow night...but he's a sweet heart (well so far)...cuz he even asked if I'd rather go out or if I'd mind just hanging at his place...I thought it nice of him to leave it up to me anyway... Well thanks for all your input Mary and everyone else. Thanks for agreeing that the guy was disrespectful! He was being mean to you because thats WHO he really is....one who wants something and you aren't giving it to him so he's dishing out the garbage... If you had met up with him I guarentee you he would have tried to see you late that night with some intimacy... Its okay to see a movie at the New Guys place , just remember if he gets a little too touchy feely you want to stop and straigten up ....because some men think a movie at your / their place is an open ticket to alot. Not that making out would be a bad thing....but make sure you don't go further... Does he know about the other guy and what happened with you both , anything at all ? Link to post Share on other sites
Author LoveLace Posted June 16, 2008 Author Share Posted June 16, 2008 No New Guy doesn't know anything about Mr. Hostile. We definitely made out, had a couple glasses of wine and watched a movie but he had to work today so I was home by 11:30. I had been at a friend's pool all day so I was tired when I got there, I tried to hide it but I was probably boring...anyway when I left he said "we might be able to do something next week"...I just said well ok just call me. I didn't even ask about when we'd get together again...just saying I don't know if that's a good sign he said that, or if it was coming from his ego..."we might be able to do something..." hmm, maybe I shouldn't read too much into it... Link to post Share on other sites
Mary3 Posted June 16, 2008 Share Posted June 16, 2008 No New Guy doesn't know anything about Mr. Hostile. We definitely made out, had a couple glasses of wine and watched a movie but he had to work today so I was home by 11:30. I had been at a friend's pool all day so I was tired when I got there, I tried to hide it but I was probably boring...anyway when I left he said "we might be able to do something next week"...I just said well ok just call me. I didn't even ask about when we'd get together again...just saying I don't know if that's a good sign he said that, or if it was coming from his ego..."we might be able to do something..." hmm, maybe I shouldn't read too much into it... I would keep the doors open and continue dating different people. If he wants a definitive date, he will be precise about the day and time. Until then , just like with the Other Guy, play the field until you find someone that wants to spend Quality time and more of it with you, and you won't * wonder * you will KNOW he is very interested in seeing you on a consistant basis. Link to post Share on other sites
Author LoveLace Posted June 17, 2008 Author Share Posted June 17, 2008 I would keep the doors open and continue dating different people. If he wants a definitive date, he will be precise about the day and time. Until then , just like with the Other Guy, play the field until you find someone that wants to spend Quality time and more of it with you, and you won't * wonder * you will KNOW he is very interested in seeing you on a consistant basis. Absolutely...it's way too early to say I shouldn't date other people, anyway... Guy X called today though and said "well I didn't hear from you Saturday or Sunday so..." ...blah blah blah...niether of us brought up his hostile voice message, we just chatted a few min...but it's like, oh I didn't call him for 2 days...geez...I didn't know we were supposed to talk every single day of my life? Does this guy think I'm his girlfriend or something? Do I sense possessiveness or is it just me? Link to post Share on other sites
Mary3 Posted June 18, 2008 Share Posted June 18, 2008 Absolutely...it's way too early to say I shouldn't date other people, anyway... Guy X called today though and said "well I didn't hear from you Saturday or Sunday so..." ...blah blah blah...niether of us brought up his hostile voice message, we just chatted a few min...but it's like, oh I didn't call him for 2 days...geez...I didn't know we were supposed to talk every single day of my life? Does this guy think I'm his girlfriend or something? Do I sense possessiveness or is it just me? Well, thats part of his Mind Game to get you into bed .....You didn't call , oh pooo hooo " Yea I didn't call because you aren't worth the oxygen Just another attempt of MIA's . Missing in action . Where is he ? Not with you sharing dinner ....He's in the neutral zone. As soon as you pipe us :" Yes you can come over " ! BAM ! Then he is off to your place like the Shuttle Launch....Don't do it. Let him COURT you. Let them ALL learn to date you. No more late night calls, good for you for recognizing sooo much ! Link to post Share on other sites
Author LoveLace Posted June 18, 2008 Author Share Posted June 18, 2008 Well, thats part of his Mind Game to get you into bed .....You didn't call , oh pooo hooo " Yea I didn't call because you aren't worth the oxygen Just another attempt of MIA's . Missing in action . Where is he ? Not with you sharing dinner ....He's in the neutral zone. As soon as you pipe us :" Yes you can come over " ! BAM ! Then he is off to your place like the Shuttle Launch....Don't do it. Let him COURT you. Let them ALL learn to date you. No more late night calls, good for you for recognizing sooo much ! Just to be clear though, I live with my mother so guys are never trying to come to my place! he he. X has never flat out asked me to his place either, he just invited me to the bar that night. He also isn't one to call late at night...it's always been early in the day, with the exception of calling at 10 to meet at the bar...he also knew i was supposed to work until 10 that same night though, he wouldn't have been able to reach me sooner. I don't have a job that makes it easy to talk on the phone. He hasn't called today though, which I'm glad about, so maybe it's dying down a bit...wouldn't be surprised to hear from him tomorrow though...ugh, more b.s.'ing about nothing. New Guy hasn't called since I saw him last. That was only 2 days ago, but it already makes me think he's losing interest. I could be wrong. Link to post Share on other sites
Author LoveLace Posted June 18, 2008 Author Share Posted June 18, 2008 X just called! It's 9:30pm. He goes to bed around this time on week days, so I know he isn't calling to have me over, he's just calling for nothing. I don't understand why he wants to talk every god forsaken day! I didn't answer...I don't feel like b.s.'ing right now! Link to post Share on other sites
Mary3 Posted June 18, 2008 Share Posted June 18, 2008 X just called! It's 9:30pm. He goes to bed around this time on week days, so I know he isn't calling to have me over, he's just calling for nothing. I don't understand why he wants to talk every god forsaken day! I didn't answer...I don't feel like b.s.'ing right now! The one guy that calls and BS's all the time , I would not waste my cell minutes ....lol...I mean what does he want ? A chat buddy ? A friend ? More ? Decide what you think he wants and go with that... Maybe he does like you and just wants to get a feel ( no pun intended ) for you. lol Link to post Share on other sites
Author LoveLace Posted June 18, 2008 Author Share Posted June 18, 2008 The one guy that calls and BS's all the time , I would not waste my cell minutes ....lol...I mean what does he want ? A chat buddy ? A friend ? More ? Decide what you think he wants and go with that... My questions exactly....so it's hard to decide what I think...I'm not sure that I care, I feel mean to say so but since hooking up I've lost the desire to hook up that way again...don't know if that's his fault or just me. Link to post Share on other sites
Mary3 Posted June 18, 2008 Share Posted June 18, 2008 The one guy that calls and BS's all the time , I would not waste my cell minutes ....lol...I mean what does he want ? A chat buddy ? A friend ? More ? Decide what you think he wants and go with that... My questions exactly....so it's hard to decide what I think...I'm not sure that I care, I feel mean to say so but since hooking up I've lost the desire to hook up that way again...don't know if that's his fault or just me. It shows you have GREAT self respect for yourself by saying :" Wow that sure does not make me feel better " As opposed to a woman who keeps sleeping with a guy and wonders why he only calls when its convienant for HIM ? I used to do that too and then woke up. Now it P* me off when guys try for the goods and have no intention of sticking around for the whole package ( me ) hehe...You are very smart. I think you will do well and one day you will find a man who wants ALL of you and the kittens too....or kids , lol ! Link to post Share on other sites
Author LoveLace Posted June 18, 2008 Author Share Posted June 18, 2008 It shows you have GREAT self respect for yourself by saying :" Wow that sure does not make me feel better " As opposed to a woman who keeps sleeping with a guy and wonders why he only calls when its convienant for HIM ? I used to do that too and then woke up. Now it P* me off when guys try for the goods and have no intention of sticking around for the whole package ( me ) hehe...You are very smart. I think you will do well and one day you will find a man who wants ALL of you and the kittens too....or kids , lol ! Thanks I'd like to think you are right about all that! Link to post Share on other sites
Mary3 Posted June 19, 2008 Share Posted June 19, 2008 Thanks I'd like to think you are right about all that! I think for all of us single females , if we continue to set the standards high , we will meet the right man for us Link to post Share on other sites
Author LoveLace Posted June 19, 2008 Author Share Posted June 19, 2008 X called me AGAIN last night, so I haven't returned his calls the last 2 days in a row. I figure one or more of these is going on: a) I'm just not used to guys calling this much b) If I were more interested, I wouldn't mind it at all? c) I'm right to feel a little annoyed, especially because he never talks about anything that has a point... I mean, everyday for the last 3 weeks...I've ran out of things to say! Link to post Share on other sites
Mary3 Posted June 20, 2008 Share Posted June 20, 2008 X called me AGAIN last night, so I haven't returned his calls the last 2 days in a row. I figure one or more of these is going on: a) I'm just not used to guys calling this much b) If I were more interested, I wouldn't mind it at all? c) I'm right to feel a little annoyed, especially because he never talks about anything that has a point... I mean, everyday for the last 3 weeks...I've ran out of things to say! He is merely a BORE and wants to keep the boring connection going. Tell him you met someone else and that should stop the calls Link to post Share on other sites
Author LoveLace Posted June 20, 2008 Author Share Posted June 20, 2008 He is merely a BORE and wants to keep the boring connection going. Tell him you met someone else and that should stop the calls Gosh, he's called again just now. That's 3 days in a row that I didn't answer so you'd think he would let up a little by now. Most guys I know (with some sense anyway) would have backed off after the 1st two times...so you are right now I have to come up with something to tell him, which only sucks because we have mutual friends, but oh well that's life. I'd like to tell him I've been busy with a new guy I'm dating...(which isn't true because New Guy has not called BOO) And yea...I guess if you are a boring person you wouldn't necessarily just know that...he he Link to post Share on other sites
Mary3 Posted June 20, 2008 Share Posted June 20, 2008 Gosh, he's called again just now. That's 3 days in a row that I didn't answer so you'd think he would let up a little by now. Most guys I know (with some sense anyway) would have backed off after the 1st two times...so you are right now I have to come up with something to tell him, which only sucks because we have mutual friends, but oh well that's life. I'd like to tell him I've been busy with a new guy I'm dating...(which isn't true because New Guy has not called BOO) And yea...I guess if you are a boring person you wouldn't necessarily just know that...he he I think he's trying to dig at an empty gold mine because he believes there are a few gold rocks left for him. But because you are strong and are posting here and REALIZE that he is trying to see if you are available because I think thats part of the reason for the phone calls. Will she give me more ? Link to post Share on other sites
Author LoveLace Posted June 21, 2008 Author Share Posted June 21, 2008 I think he's trying to dig at an empty gold mine because he believes there are a few gold rocks left for him. But because you are strong and are posting here and REALIZE that he is trying to see if you are available because I think thats part of the reason for the phone calls. Will she give me more ? Do you mean available as in single, or available as in at the time of the call? I mean when he calls, sometimes he's at work, sometimes I am just at home but he still never asks me to anything. Link to post Share on other sites
Mary3 Posted June 22, 2008 Share Posted June 22, 2008 Do you mean available as in single, or available as in at the time of the call? I mean when he calls, sometimes he's at work, sometimes I am just at home but he still never asks me to anything. He never calls you to DO anything. Exactly. What he wishes ( as most men who want FWB's ) is that you feel lonely and invite him over. He is waiting for that kind of call. I know you are stronger now . Make sure he never gets sexually suggestive on the phone because in his mind if he can lead you into that kind of conversation he is going to be on you like honey .. No man is entitled to YOU , or your body , without some commitment . He needs to get smart and ask you out and date you but that won't happen because he's living in the FWB syndrome....Only we as women can stop this . They started this stuff . We have to stop it. Now for those women who are truly interested in emotionless sex/ casual thats fine. But if you are looking for a relationship, this is NOT fine. Link to post Share on other sites
Author LoveLace Posted June 23, 2008 Author Share Posted June 23, 2008 Well he knows I won't invite him over because I live with my mother. Anyway, he ended up asking me out Sat. night. (I had mentioned being "that time of month", so he knew that before hand)...we went for something to eat, a couple drinks, and back to his place but we didn't have sex because of obvious reasons. He was very nice and paid for everything and all that, we cuddled, yadda yadda. But he told me more about his "friend" Tina - and finally said, she's more than a friend. They've been together a long time but get this - she's MARRIED! He said "I haven't told her about us yet"...I said, "Is this significant enough to even tell her?"...and he agreed. I don't like him enough to say, "You'd better tell her or else"...in fact it's the perfect escape. He's a nice guy, as I said, but I still don't desire sex with him again. So next time we talk I'm going to use the old "he's not available" excuse...which is true but it also works in my favor.... Then I found myself realizing I have a small crush on his roommate, who's very available..and I think he likes me too...but that'd be a sticky sitch, don't know if I'll tell anyone. As for New Guy, I haven't heard from him so decided to call Saturday. Left him a message, and he never called back. So Sunday I texted him and basically said this won't work out. He texted back and said, "But I was going to see what you were doing tonight"....what? I said it's after 7pm! I explained that I already have plans by then on weekends. He acted like a jerk about that so.... back to 0 action here! Link to post Share on other sites
Kamille Posted June 24, 2008 Share Posted June 24, 2008 As for New Guy, I haven't heard from him so decided to call Saturday. Left him a message, and he never called back. So Sunday I texted him and basically said this won't work out. He texted back and said, "But I was going to see what you were doing tonight"....what? I said it's after 7pm! I explained that I already have plans by then on weekends. He acted like a jerk about that so.... The way I see it, the art of dating is one of planting "seeds". I know some people believe you should let the guys do all the work, but in this case, I think you did the right thing by calling. However, I wonder why you felt like texting him it wouldn't work out? Obviously you hoped somehow it would, else you wouldn't have called the day before. Next time I suggest you call and then, if they don't call back, file it in your 'mystery' folder and move on. That way, you don't make assumptions about why they're not calling, and you also leave the door open in case the guy has legitimate reasons for not returning your call. Link to post Share on other sites
Author LoveLace Posted June 24, 2008 Author Share Posted June 24, 2008 True Kam but I have no regrets because by texting him I found out that he was expecting to call me after 7pm to ask me out for THAT night, as though I don't have a life and don't need further notice. I had called him 24 hours earlier, so he had all that time to return that call and give me further notice. Plus, he lives across town from me...I've been over to his neck of the woods twice, and the 2nd time, I was only there 2 hours when he decided to go to bed and I had to go home. So when he talked about going out the night I already had plans, I invited him to join those plans with my friends and I but he never called back. THEN I was ticked because if he wanted to hang out with me, he would have been willing to drive to my part of town. I wasn't going to drop my plans to drive all the way there and have him poop out early. I emailed that to him after our phone exchange. I was nice in suggesting we had fun together so let's calm down and get to know each other better. He said, "Nope, sorry"...so I said well, trust me no reason to be sorry....I should have thanked him for saving me $30 in gas money. So if I hadn't of texted him, he would have called at like 8pm to ask me out for that night, which would have damaged it for me anyhow. That's what Dan always used to do to me, and I won't go down that road again! Link to post Share on other sites
Mary3 Posted June 25, 2008 Share Posted June 25, 2008 Well he knows I won't invite him over because I live with my mother. Anyway, he ended up asking me out Sat. night. (I had mentioned being "that time of month", so he knew that before hand)...we went for something to eat, a couple drinks, and back to his place but we didn't have sex because of obvious reasons. He was very nice and paid for everything and all that, we cuddled, yadda yadda. But he told me more about his "friend" Tina - and finally said, she's more than a friend. They've been together a long time but get this - she's MARRIED! He said "I haven't told her about us yet"...I said, "Is this significant enough to even tell her?"...and he agreed. I don't like him enough to say, "You'd better tell her or else"...in fact it's the perfect escape. He's a nice guy, as I said, but I still don't desire sex with him again. So next time we talk I'm going to use the old "he's not available" excuse...which is true but it also works in my favor.... Then I found myself realizing I have a small crush on his roommate, who's very available..and I think he likes me too...but that'd be a sticky sitch, don't know if I'll tell anyone. As for New Guy, I haven't heard from him so decided to call Saturday. Left him a message, and he never called back. So Sunday I texted him and basically said this won't work out. He texted back and said, "But I was going to see what you were doing tonight"....what? I said it's after 7pm! I explained that I already have plans by then on weekends. He acted like a jerk about that so.... back to 0 action here! That is the oldest line of crap ever highlighted above....They always say " Oh I was going to call you " That just means : You are not important to me but since you called and I decided to pick up the phone , I will ask you what you are doing tonite, I will confirm you have nothing going on and I will NOT ask you out...: Or maybe I will because you are only worth last minute thoughts,... Link to post Share on other sites
Mary3 Posted June 25, 2008 Share Posted June 25, 2008 True Kam but I have no regrets because by texting him I found out that he was expecting to call me after 7pm to ask me out for THAT night, as though I don't have a life and don't need further notice. I had called him 24 hours earlier, so he had all that time to return that call and give me further notice. Plus, he lives across town from me...I've been over to his neck of the woods twice, and the 2nd time, I was only there 2 hours when he decided to go to bed and I had to go home. So when he talked about going out the night I already had plans, I invited him to join those plans with my friends and I but he never called back. THEN I was ticked because if he wanted to hang out with me, he would have been willing to drive to my part of town. I wasn't going to drop my plans to drive all the way there and have him poop out early. I emailed that to him after our phone exchange. I was nice in suggesting we had fun together so let's calm down and get to know each other better. He said, "Nope, sorry"...so I said well, trust me no reason to be sorry....I should have thanked him for saving me $30 in gas money. So if I hadn't of texted him, he would have called at like 8pm to ask me out for that night, which would have damaged it for me anyhow. That's what Dan always used to do to me, and I won't go down that road again! I'm so proud of YOU for recognizing poor behavior from men I think you are headed down the right path. Its all about the learning experience. Link to post Share on other sites
shadowplay Posted June 28, 2008 Share Posted June 28, 2008 I get the feeling you secretly like the attention this guy is giving you by calling so much. Why else would you keep mentioning it? If he was really doing nothing at all for you, you would just ignore his calls. I notice you tend to look for validation a lot from guys. But you end up settling for crumbs because you feel that's the best you can do. You stay in situations too long that are unhealthy with guys who don't treat you well because they're throwing you scraps. Link to post Share on other sites
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