Did you EVER concider going back or DID you go back to the cheating ex??

[EMBeee]

Just out of curiosity... did any of you ever concidering going back to your cheating ex?? Or did any of you decide to go back to the cheating ex?? If so, how long did it take you until you went back to them and did it work out the 2nd time around, was it the same feeling as "before" the infidelity... or did they end up cheating again??

 

Just curious... thanks!

[mark982]

yea i went back to the ho. dumbest mistake i ever made. i regreted it about a month after. no it didn't work out, she cheated again.

[twice_shy]

just Out Of Curiosity... Did Any Of You Ever Concidering Going Back To Your Cheating Ex??

 

F##k No!!!!!

[badbrit]

yes I went back once, it was not the same, I was desperate to make things work, she was uninterested in the main and the problems remained. She was not even sorry and just used to say, "It was how I felt at the time" and I ignored her true colours.

 

Gave me a miserable 18 months then she dumped me again blah blah and now I am happy for first time in years because I grew a set of balls.

 

Never go back, really never go back unless they beg and say they have made a huge mistake, explain why it happened and why it will not and look 100% committed, sorry and want to make it up to you.

 

If that happens, you need to forget it and wipe the slate clean or it will be doomed.

[Lonelystar]

This does not apply to me, but my sister went back to her husband after he cheated. She said she would of just left, but she had two kids with him. There marriage seems to be better, but I'm still weary of him. He is a great dad and great brother-in-law, but I have a hard time forgiving him. My sister is more forgiving than me, but I don't know if I could ever get back with someone who cheated. Never being in the situation (that I know of) maybe it is easier for me to say than it is to do.

[Chrome Barracuda]

Hell F-ing no!!!

 

If she's dumb enough to ruin something good why would I take a gamble to have her do it again. Sometimes people dont appreciate the things theyre given until it's gone.

 

If a good man is so important she would do anything to keep him, then why would she cheat in the first place knowing that he would leave. You cant just promise somebody something and sleep with someone else and think everything's gonna be alright. It doesnt work like that.

[D-Lish]

I did get back with a cheating ex when I was really young and insecure- he was the guy I lost to my virginity to. But I was 18 years old, and very insecure.

 

I think you learn from such an experience that we teach people how to treat us - and I taught him that he could have sex with other women and I would take him back! I have never accepted a cheater back into my life since then- and I never would.

[twice_shy]

Hell F-ing no!!!

 

Ok, I said "F##k no!!!" and you say this. You have to one-up me don't you?

[sunshinegirl]

So this is what I sort-of don't get about the whole cheating thing.

 

There's a whole group of people, like those who have posted here, who have very clear lines - cheating is wrong and it is a kind of character flaw on the part of the cheater.

 

But then you go over to the OW/OM board and there is a whole slew of people who are cheating in one form or another and who have elaborate and even sympathetic stories about why they are doing what they are doing. And somehow, it seems harder to paint them with the same 'character flaw' brush.

 

I feel so confused about this: my ex cheated on me and by all accounts everyone has said I dodged a bullet and this shows his weak, scared character.

 

But spin the story backward a bit and you learn that his ex-wife cheated on HIM. It was really easy for me to paint her as the evil b**** until I learned more about how bad their marriage was. She is now remarried to the affair partner, who I met and who is a good guy, though he is someone who cheated on his own wife to be with her.

 

Ugh. It's weird. I want to be able to paint my ex with the big black brush of "what a weak willed man" and be done with it. But it feels harder to paint his ex-wife with the same brush, knowing more about what it was like to be married to my ex.

 

Paint me confused!

[Chrome Barracuda]

Ok, I said "F##k no!!!" and you say this. You have to one-up me don't you?

 

I try . lol.

 

 

You know what sunshine girl my ex cheated on me with a dude who was a scumbag and cheated on her. And when I found out about everything after all the lies and crap. I told her. This man was right cheating on you, because your actions in how you treat me, you F-ing deserved it!

 

She couldnt get mad, it was the truth, when it all boiled down to it she was a flakey broad who couldnt control her emotions and didnt know what she wanted.

 

I just called her out on it.

 

And guess what she went back to her ex who did her dirty. and guess what else. He did it again!!!!

 

LOL!!!!

[sunshinegirl]

I try . lol.

 

 

You know what sunshine girl my ex cheated on me with a dude who was a scumbag and cheated on her. And when I found out about everything after all the lies and crap. I told her. This man was right cheating on you, because your actions in how you treat me, you F-ing deserved it!

 

She couldnt get mad, it was the truth, when it all boiled down to it she was a flakey broad who couldnt control her emotions and didnt know what she wanted.

 

I just called her out on it.

 

And guess what she went back to her ex who did her dirty. and guess what else. He did it again!!!!

 

LOL!!!!

 

That's a nice story of karma coming back to bite her. I wish "what goes around comes around" was true all the time, but I fear that's not true. Some people just get away with it, unscathed, unbothered, unaffected.

[Chrome Barracuda]

That's a nice story of karma coming back to bite her. I wish "what goes around comes around" was true all the time, but I fear that's not true. Some people just get away with it, unscathed, unbothered, unaffected.

 

Yeah but you know what I've learned I wasnt even wishing karma on her.

 

In the end I just thought all those lies and all that time hiding the truth, when she left me for him, they didnt even end up together so all that crap she did was all for nothing. I just shook my head and thought our whole relationship was a joke and to her she ended up with no one.

 

I've learned that karma may visit the wicked when we least expect it. The thing is to make better of our lives after we have been wronged. pulling ourselves back up. I've met better women after the ex left so I aint mad.

 

I aint holding a grugde. The only thing that really pissed me off is that she did all that lying and cheating behind my back and when she was with him, they didnt work out on account of him cheating again. I know she felt stupid I just felt like WTF.

[Lookingforward]

I haven't been in that situation, but I definitely wouldn't take someone back if they did cheat on me, that's for sure - I mean what's the point ?

 

They already showed what they were once, why would I want to give them another opportunity?

 

I can forgive a lot of things, but not that.

[TrustInYourself]

Yeah but you know what I've learned I wasnt even wishing karma on her.

 

In the end I just thought all those lies and all that time hiding the truth, when she left me for him, they didnt even end up together so all that crap she did was all for nothing. I just shook my head and thought our whole relationship was a joke and to her she ended up with no one.

 

I've learned that karma may visit the wicked when we least expect it. The thing is to make better of our lives after we have been wronged. pulling ourselves back up. I've met better women after the ex left so I aint mad.

 

I aint holding a grugde. The only thing that really pissed me off is that she did all that lying and cheating behind my back and when she was with him, they didnt work out on account of him cheating again. I know she felt stupid I just felt like WTF.

 

Did you love her?

[Trialbyfire]

Just out of curiosity... did any of you ever concidering going back to your cheating ex?? Or did any of you decide to go back to the cheating ex?? If so, how long did it take you until you went back to them and did it work out the 2nd time around, was it the same feeling as "before" the infidelity... or did they end up cheating again??

 

Just curious... thanks!

Yes, I considered it for three whole days, then decided against it. Zero regrets. It was one of the BEST decisions I've ever made!

[Gunny376]

Factoring in the metal, emotinal, headche, heartache, finacnial ruin, social disgrace, humiliation, chance of STD's (non-curable ones at that, and even ones the carry a death sentence)

 

HELL NO!

[Chrome Barracuda]

Did you love her?

 

 

...It was definitely pointing in that direction. I was letting my guards down with her. Learning to trust her.

 

What really hurt the most was the fact that when I was opening myself up to her she betrayed me. Just like alot of women I've met done. Either flakey or betrayed. There has not been much reciprocation of love from females that I have dated.

 

So now I just keep my guard up, and act indifferent until a woman can really prover herself in my eyes. I dont put chicks on pedestals. I dont hold them to higher standards and I always keep my eyes open and dont trust blindly.

 

I refuse to be hurt again. ever.

[Gunny376]

I've got a buddy of mine who's going with a literally a self made Lady who came from gulley dirt poor background. She studied and worked hard through HS, got a scholarship, worked her way through undergraduate school, grad school (MBA) and then law school.

 

Then to top that off she joined the National Guard and is up for full bird colone (one step below a one star general)l. If she makes it, (and there's a very good chance she will) she will be the first black woman in the state's history to hold such rank

 

I like what she told my buddy about cheating. "If you can find someone that has more to offer you than I do, they deserve you, because they're a better person than I."

 

I think that sums up the way any and all of us that have been cheated on should feel.

 

We sit around and wring our hands, questioned our sanity, our self worth, but the truth of the matter is? Cheaters most always trade down.

[marlena]

Yes, I went back after being apart for a year. During that year there was no comunication at all. After that period, he called, asked to see me and promised that he would change if I wee to give him/us a second chance. Our daughter was 5 1/2 at the time. I went against my better judgement and accepted partly because I still had some residual feeling for him and partly for our daughter. The honeymoon phase lasted approximately six months. Within the year, he was into his next affair. He left about six months after that without saying a thing, not the slightest explanation. He denied the affair. Six months after that, the OW called me together with him and the very same night I called my lawyer and the divorce proceedings started. Fifteen years of misery were more than enough.

 

Paradoxically, today we are friends but I haven't got an ounce of romantic feeling for him. I think of him as a brother.