onlyhuman Posted June 6, 2008 Share Posted June 6, 2008 I was here a few years ago.The problems calmed down. Heres what happened. My wife goes up north to clean one of our rental properties. She calls my work and leaves a message that she forgot a combination for the shed.I miss a second message and I can hear she is angry. Since I work in a small office and it was busy I changed my message to hint to my wife if she calls again and misses me to dial zero and speak to my boss. I tell everyone in the office the combination. I leave at lunch to pick up documents, come back, have a 1/2hr meeting and I find out she called, missed me and got the combination from my boss. Latter that evening she calls home. She accusses me of lying about being in and wants to know where I was. I explain I was in all day with the exception of lunch. She calls me a ****ing liar and then accuses my boss of 23yrs of being in collusion with me?? I again repeat my story and ask why she would think I would lie to her, she hangs up. Today she came home like it was nothing.I said I want to talk about this and she replies she did not come home to argue. In 10 yrs of marriage I have never done anything that would spur on this type of behaviour from her.I have always told her I will never lie to her and never have. Link to post Share on other sites
Untouchable_Fire Posted June 6, 2008 Share Posted June 6, 2008 Today she came home like it was nothing.I said I want to talk about this and she replies she did not come home to argue. In 10 yrs of marriage I have never done anything that would spur on this type of behaviour from her.I have always told her I will never lie to her and never have. Your wife is kinda crazy. That said, just try and give random acts of affection. Hugs, Kisses, Saying nice things. Don't expect that this will change how she is... which is a touch crazy, but I think it will help you be happier in just doing that. Make sure you stand up for yourself. Ask her lots of questions. The reason she gives you for being upset is not the real reason. You have to dig deep and think hard to get to the bottom of it. Here for example. Why does she not trust you? Or is she just upset that you did not answer her call? Which can make her feel like she isn't a priority to you? Link to post Share on other sites
quankanne Posted June 6, 2008 Share Posted June 6, 2008 *raises hand* I sometimes fly off the handle at DH when there's a combination of things going on that make me super cranky over stuff I normally don't get "excited" about. I'm not mad at him, per se, but because things are going shxtty, and he's not responding fast enough (or properly) to make things better, he suddenly becomes part of the problem and now HE'S the target. And it takes a good day for me to get my bearings back after being so angry. it's possible there were several things going on that just culminated into what amounts to a snit fit for her when she didn't immediately get what she needed from you ... and now that she's had time to simmer down, she realizes it really wasn't such a big deal? Or possibly, she's got residual anger, but doesn't want to "go there" for fear of it flaring up again. other poster also said something that might be contributing to the situation: She's unhappy about something, and this incident about the lock combination might be how she's expressing her unhappiness. Link to post Share on other sites
Author onlyhuman Posted June 9, 2008 Author Share Posted June 9, 2008 Thanks for your replies. I appreciate it very much. Link to post Share on other sites
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