4givrnt4gtr Posted June 6, 2008 Share Posted June 6, 2008 So long story short. Caught bf texting dirty stuff to some random chick. Broke up with him telling him i couldnt trust him and i had warned him about messing around. He cried and beg, then the next day he said he accepted that what he did was disgusting, that he was ashamed of it and couldnt ask me to get back with him. But he would do whatever it took for me to be his friend. At that point i was sure i could never be with him again. However things have changed. I realized a few things about me and how it is not so much what he did but how I handled the whole relationship. In any case I decided that if he or anyone wanted to be with me, they better prove their worth and fight for me. THis was three weeks ago. A few days later he sent me an email wishing me good luck for a big test i had. It was very formal and serious. I sent him a text with a more light tone. He replied with a text in the same way. A few days after that he texted me once again, asking if he could call me sometime. I said yes, that id be available that night after 8pm. At 9pm he called me being very chatty which is sorta odd for him. He then told me he had been thinking about how we were supposed to run a marathon together and how he'd like to continue training for it with me. I agreed and said we could meet up on thursdays. THis was last saturday. On monday i called him to let him know I couldnt run this week since my nephew was in town and would spend then evening with him and his mom (before i would just go with my bf anyway....bad bad move). He said he understood and asked me if i had any other day available. I told him what days i could go and he said he couldnt do those days as he was busy then. So i said that in that case we would have to meet next week. He said ok, and then said "unless you want to just hang out " to what I immediately said no. (It really is not gonna be that easy, come on now) Anyway, now the tough part was yesterday. It would have been our one year anniversary. I was pretty sad and I sent him a text. I reminded him of it (cuz i know he wasnt gonna remember) and told him that despite everything I was glad i met him. He responded with "Thanks 4giv, Im glad I met you too". And thats it. I was hoping he would call me, do something people usually do in these cases (flowers anyone???) but no, nothing, just that text. I was very very bummed out. I felt like it just spoke of how little he cares, and how easy he wants everything. Is it too much to ask for some sort of nice gesture from him on our would have been anniversary? specially since he seems to be wanting to win me back? Or since we are already broken up, he may not think its appropiate? Any ideas? Link to post Share on other sites
serendip Posted June 6, 2008 Share Posted June 6, 2008 Umm...you guys are broken up...why would he send you flowers for an imaginary anniversary that doesn't exist. I mean that makes no sense at all. On LS we tell people to don't ever send presents let alone have contact once you are broken up. Link to post Share on other sites
Author 4givrnt4gtr Posted June 6, 2008 Author Share Posted June 6, 2008 Umm...you guys are broken up...why would he send you flowers for an imaginary anniversary that doesn't exist. I mean that makes no sense at all. On LS we tell people to don't ever send presents let alone have contact once you are broken up. True...but he is trying to win me back....so...i dont know, just thought it would be part of the "make an effort" thing. THough i do see what you mean and i thought about it too....being hopelessly romantic/too many romantic comedies dont help my case (or his for that matter) Link to post Share on other sites
tanbark813 Posted June 6, 2008 Share Posted June 6, 2008 I can sort of understand the rationale behind making him fight for you but yes, I think it's ridiculous to expect flowers from someone you dumped. Plus, if you keep turning him down eventually he'll just accept that and move on. Instead of playing games you should decide whether or not you really want to be with him and then proceed from there. Link to post Share on other sites
Author 4givrnt4gtr Posted June 6, 2008 Author Share Posted June 6, 2008 I can sort of understand the rationale behind making him fight for you but yes, I think it's ridiculous to expect flowers from someone you dumped. Plus, if you keep turning him down eventually he'll just accept that and move on. Instead of playing games you should decide whether or not you really want to be with him and then proceed from there. Well yes, when you put it like that it sounds rather silly (and im sure it would never cross his mind in that case). But really, i didnt dump him because i didnt love him. In fact we were talking about marriage at the time. I dumped him because i felt disrespected and so close to be cheated on. Bassically he messed up BIG time....(thus the flowers with a nice "im sorry" note?? no?? ok ) Anyhow...keep 'em coming...LS has helped me destroy so many disney ideals of relationships that have held me back so much....do continue Link to post Share on other sites
vivrantflo Posted June 6, 2008 Share Posted June 6, 2008 tanbark813 is right.. If your ex was on here and was asking us for advice.. we'd tell him to do EXACTLY what he's doing right now. Because he's acted accordingly, you've opened your heart to a possible reconciliation. He's playing it cool. If he sent you cards, and presents.. texted u all the time asking for you back.. you wouldn't find him as attractive as you do now. No more games. YOU dumped HIM, (rightfully so) but if you're interested in trying again, you're gonna have to swallow it and let him know about it. So you both can work at it. We all know he DID screw up, and you're entitled to go either way, but if u do want to give him another chance.. let him know. Us men will chase and play the game up until a certain point.. until we become jaded, turned off, and ready to move on permanently.. you've been warned...... Link to post Share on other sites
twice_shy Posted June 6, 2008 Share Posted June 6, 2008 I was hoping he would call me, do something people usually do in these cases (flowers anyone???) but no, nothing, just that text. I was very very bummed out. I felt like it just spoke of how little he cares, and how easy he wants everything. No, what spoke of how little he cares is basically text cheating on you with some other girl. You are right not to trust him and I wouldn't get bummed out if I were you. There are plenty of guys out there that will NOT disrespect you like that. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts