Marxist Posted March 23, 2004 Share Posted March 23, 2004 Hello, Thanks for your truthfull opinions. I'll summerize what has happened. We talked a lot and we were at the breaking point in our relationship. I forgave her to some extend. The thing is purity is important to me. She is willing to wait months if not years for me because she LOVES me I came to realize that her feelings for me are true and this is the girl for me. Though he past will always affect me because I just couldn't believe she would cheat not me, but at one of her ex-boyfriends and she didn't do it to get back at him she did it I guess for the sake of experience the JOY if you eant to call it that. I just feel that if she is capable of doing it once she can do it again given the opportunity. She told me before she had sex with the guy in Cancun 3 times and when I asked her again months later she told me it was only one time. She lied to me fight in front of my face. I told her before I ask the question to be honest, truthful, and open ans she went ahead and lied. She is terrified of loosing me and I also care a lot for her. Hopefully things turn out very good for us. What do you think?? or anyone Link to post Share on other sites
Southside Posted March 25, 2004 Share Posted March 25, 2004 Simply put, I cheated because I wanted new puss. Thats it, no emotional ties, no "realationship" - just new puss. Once I had hit it, I split it. Link to post Share on other sites
Rockstar Posted March 25, 2004 Share Posted March 25, 2004 Something you all may enjoy from a book I am currently reading: Why would a civilized human risk his own, let alone his child's well-being just to rub limbs with a bitch who so flagrantly does him for money? Most fathers probably wouldnt, but many of us feel sorely tempted. Is this because we're self-destructive ignoramuses? In terms of modern domestic bilss: Yeah. Biologically, though, it's a much longer story. in Why Is Sex Fun?, Jared Diamond explains that simple evolutionary logic encourages males to "walk off the job immediately after copulation, seek more females to impregnate, and leave the females to rear their offspring." Just watch the parents at a little league game when theres lightning in the distance. Most dads want to get in another half inning to "make it an official game", while the moms are beseeching the fifteen-year-old umpire to suspend it. Showing how male parental care "would be a bad evolutionary gamble" Diamond gives the example of Morocco's Emperor Ismail the Bloodthirsty, sire of approximately 1,400 offspring, and points out that in seven months even a sanguine nonemperor can easily "broadcast enough sperm to fertilize every one of the worlds approximately two billion reproductively mature women." Diamond, of course, is hardly recommending such wanton polygyny; instead, he wants to help his reader "understand why your body feels the way it does, and why your beloved is behaving the way he or she is. perhaps, too, if you understand why you feel driven to some self-destructive sexual behavior, that understanding may help you to gain distance from your instincts and to deal more intelligently with them." So it's not that men are pigs--men are males. The only way we can survive genetically is by exchanging food and shelter for access to reproductively mature females. And how do such females decide which male to couple with? By attending to signals indicating his relative status in her tribe; the highter his status, the better he'' be able to provide for her and their offspring. How does a high-status male determine which females aren't already pregnant? by the ration of her waist to her hips. Which one's the best bet to carry and suckle his offspring? Simply check out her complexion and the upstandingness of her breasts. Bottom line? The 3:2:3 ration of a cute strippers hips, waist, and breasts, so frankly parades onstage, is altogether irresistible to heterosexual men, especially high-status middle-aged chubby hubbies desperate before they die to get as much of their personal DNA as possible into the next generation without getting anyone pregnant. When that's what men want, and when young women know it, things can get terribly sticky. Link to post Share on other sites
jenny Posted March 26, 2004 Share Posted March 26, 2004 lol - how many threads are you going to post this in? http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t35028//15-9 and it is part of an annotated bibliography or something? but thanks for the book club suggestion; it looks like an interesting speculative book. Link to post Share on other sites
julie1971 Posted June 15, 2004 Share Posted June 15, 2004 this is a hard one. i recently did it (cheated) and i do love my husband very much. i cried so much i had to leave work the next day because i felt horrible about it...so it happened...it was unintentional and i wont do it again...but i will say ...monogamy is social not natural...not that that's any excuse...but people do make mistakes...id say if you do it once... you can say you made a mistake...but if you do it over and over then maybe you should not be in your relationship... for me it was that my husband didn't want to have sex often anymore...and when he did it just to please me...it was like a chore..i hated it that he didn't love it...if that makes any sense...and then someone comes along..(an old flame or friend) and thinks you are the hottest thing on the planet and makes you feel good... that's what happened to me... whenever anyone used to say that cheating was "just sex, it didn't mean anything" i used to think yeah right that's bullsh*t...but its true to a point.. i dont want to be with the man...and it was just physical..but what they dont tell you is how destroyed you will be afterward...at least i was...maybe for men it's different. but i will have to live with this forever.... Link to post Share on other sites
Nic Rox Posted June 18, 2004 Share Posted June 18, 2004 Reading through this string of posts on this topic is really hitting home for me right now. I have been in a serious relationship with my boyfriend for 2 1/2 years and I cheated on him not even 2 weeks ago. I know that a ton of people feel that if you really love someone you don't cheat. But I really do love him, regardless of what anyone says, thinks, or feels. I will spare the details of who, what, when, and where but the fact is that it happened. I confessed to my mistake and needless to say we are going through the punches. He wants to forgive me, but he says he is confused. I wish that I could someday be forgiven but I don't feel like I deserve it and after reading the numerous entries about how the other party suffers when they choose to stay with a cheater the after affects seem to be crippling even years later. I don't want this for my boyfriend. He is the sweetest, most caring person I have ever met and I don't want him to go through that. Which is why I'm wondering if letting him go whether he feels like he should is the better option. I would really like to hear from someone that left the relationship. Was there ever a time that you regretted leaving? Can anyone ever truly recover? How can I make him stop hurting? I just love him so much that I would do anything to take this away. Whatever I should do. Please someone help me with this? Does anyone have any advise? I could let him go regardless of the circumstances, but he said that he is willing to stay if I can show him that I truly do love him. What if that means that I have to let him go? Will he ever know that I broke it off because I don't want him to go through the pain and doubt of staying with me or do you think he will believe that I let him go because I didn't really love him and I wasn't willing to try? I'm so confused. Link to post Share on other sites
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