bothered and jealous

[Dan]

I ran into a situation that has my girlfriend all bothered and jealous. It started when I joined a swim team. There's a girl who helps out the team by collecting, distributing and washing towels. To my surprise, she is allowed in our locker room while we get showered and changed. Though the reason is supposed to be that she is helping with the towels, it's no secret she does this because she likes to see guys in the nude. The other's aren't bothered by this and claim she's good luck to the team. I figured what the heck, if it doesn't bother them, why should it bother me. Besides, she's kind of cute. Well she knows my girlfriend and she has told her how she's allowed to work in the locker room and that she has seen me as well as the others in the buff. Well this has my girlfriend very upset. I told her it doesn't mean anything. I told my girlfriend that though this girl may be a bit of a tease at times, and likes to watch us in the locker room, it doesn't go beyond that. She's just having some fun. I've gotten used to it, but I don't know about my girlfriend. Do you think she's over reacting?

[Nicky]

I ran into a situation that has my girlfriend all bothered and jealous. It started when I joined a swim team. There’s a girl who helps out the team by collecting, distributing and washing towels. To my surprise, she is allowed in our locker room while we get showered and changed. Though the reason is supposed to be that she is helping with the towels, it's no secret she does this because she likes to see guys in the nude. The other's aren't bothered by this and claim she's good luck to the team. I figured what the heck, if it doesn't bother them, why should it bother me. Besides, she's kind of cute. Well she knows my girlfriend and she has told her how she's allowed to work in the locker room and that she has seen me as well as the others in the buff. Well this has my girlfriend very upset. I told her it doesn't mean anything. I told my girlfriend that though this girl may be a bit of a tease at times, and likes to watch us in the locker room, it doesn't go beyond that. She's just having some fun. I've gotten used to it, but I don't know about my girlfriend. Do you think she's over reacting?

Hi! Jealousy is all about the fear of losing something you have that is precious to you. I don't think that you are in a position to stop the girl coming into the locker rooms. So, all I can suggest is you shower your girlfriend in affection, and make her feel special,. This way you will hopefully appease some of her insecurities. And p.s.- word of advice: don't ever mention to her, that you think this other girl is cute- it will only make her feel more threatened. I think if you calmly explain to your GF how she is the one for you, her jealousy will gradually subside. Help her see that she is being a bit irrational. Good luck!

[DEB]

BULL, I WOULD BE MAD TOO, GET THAT GIRL OUT OF THE LOCKER ROOM, IT'S NOT HER PLACE. IT SOUNDS LIKE THE GUYS GET OFF ON HAVING HER IN THERE.IF I WERE YOUR GIRLFRIEND THAT WOULD BE UNACCEPTABLE FOR ME TOO. I CAN'T BELIEVE THAT THIS AN ACCEPTABLE PRACTICE FOR A SWIM TEAM. IF YOU ARE DOING EXTRACURRICULAR ACTIVITIES, THERE SHOULDN'T BE ANYTHING IN REGARDS TO IT THAT WOULD MAKE THE SIGNIFICANT OTHER IN YOUR LIFE UNCOMFORTABLE. IF THE TEAM WON'T CHANGE THIS, I WOULD HOPE THAT MY BOYFRIEND OR HUSBAND WOULD QUIT THE TEAM.

I ran into a situation that has my girlfriend all bothered and jealous. It started when I joined a swim team. There's a girl who helps out the team by collecting, distributing and washing towels. To my surprise, she is allowed in our locker room while we get showered and changed. Though the reason is supposed to be that she is helping with the towels, it's no secret she does this because she likes to see guys in the nude. The other's aren't bothered by this and claim she's good luck to the team. I figured what the heck, if it doesn't bother them, why should it bother me. Besides, she's kind of cute. Well she knows my girlfriend and she has told her how she's allowed to work in the locker room and that she has seen me as well as the others in the buff. Well this has my girlfriend very upset. I told her it doesn't mean anything. I told my girlfriend that though this girl may be a bit of a tease at times, and likes to watch us in the locker room, it doesn't go beyond that. She's just having some fun. I've gotten used to it, but I don't know about my girlfriend. Do you think she's over reacting?

[Margaret]

I must agree with Deb. Perhaps I'm too conservative, but I think it's awfully strange that this practice continues. And the fact that you mentioned that she's kind of cute makes me even more certain that there's a sexual/sensual component in your feelings about her being there. Not to mention that this girl brags about her job. I would have a real problem with this if I was your girlfriend. I, personally, wouldn't tolerate it. If your girlfriend won't, then you need to decide which is more important.

BULL, I WOULD BE MAD TOO, GET THAT GIRL OUT

OF THE LOCKER ROOM, IT'S NOT HER PLACE. IT SOUNDS LIKE THE GUYS GET OFF ON HAVING HER IN THERE.IF I WERE YOUR GIRLFRIEND THAT WOULD BE UNACCEPTABLE FOR ME TOO. I CAN'T BELIEVE THAT THIS AN ACCEPTABLE PRACTICE FOR A SWIM TEAM. IF YOU ARE DOING EXTRACURRICULAR ACTIVITIES, THERE SHOULDN'T BE ANYTHING IN REGARDS TO IT THAT WOULD MAKE THE SIGNIFICANT OTHER IN YOUR LIFE UNCOMFORTABLE. IF THE TEAM WON'T CHANGE THIS, I WOULD HOPE THAT MY BOYFRIEND OR HUSBAND WOULD QUIT THE TEAM.

[Heather]

I ran into a situation that has my girlfriend all bothered and jealous. It started when I joined a swim team. There's a girl who helps out the team by collecting, distributing and washing towels. To my surprise, she is allowed in our locker room while we get showered and changed. Though the reason is supposed to be that she is helping with the towels, it's no secret she does this because she likes to see guys in the nude. The other's aren't bothered by this and claim she's good luck to the team. I figured what the heck, if it doesn't bother them, why should it bother me. Besides, she's kind of cute. Well she knows my girlfriend and she has told her how she's allowed to work in the locker room and that she has seen me as well as the others in the buff. Well this has my girlfriend very upset. I told her it doesn't mean anything. I told my girlfriend that though this girl may be a bit of a tease at times, and likes to watch us in the locker room, it doesn't go beyond that. She's just having some fun. I've gotten used to it, but I don't know about my girlfriend. Do you think she's over reacting?

 

Hey,

 

I don't think that having someone in the locker room is the real problem, I think it's the girl with the big mouth.

 

I would not have the nerve to go up to someones girlfriend and tell that I have seen "your boyfriend" in the buff, personally if it was me that she said that to she would have gotten a slap in the face. Obviously the girl took the job to make trouble.

 

Or even look at it this way, if it was a guy doing the towel job, do you think he would run around telling everyone

 

lockeroom secrets - NO I THINK NOT.

 

Heather.

[Shirley]

I ran into a situation that has my girlfriend all bothered and jealous. It started when I joined a swim team. There’s a girl who helps out the team by collecting, distributing and washing towels. To my surprise, she is allowed in our locker room while we get showered and changed. Though the reason is supposed to be that she is helping with the towels, it's no secret she does this because she likes to see guys in the nude. The other's aren't bothered by this and claim she's good luck to the team. I figured what the heck, if it doesn't bother them, why should it bother me. Besides, she's kind of cute. Well she knows my girlfriend and she has told her how she's allowed to work in the locker room and that she has seen me as well as the others in the buff. Well this has my girlfriend very upset. I told her it doesn't mean anything. I told my girlfriend that though this girl may be a bit of a tease at times, and likes to watch us in the locker room, it doesn't go beyond that. She's just having some fun. I've gotten used to it, but I don't know about my girlfriend. Do you think she's over reacting?

 

Hi

 

Have you asked your girlfriend why it bothers her that another woman gets to see you nude? Is that what bothers her, or is it the fact that this woman is bragging to her about it. Try to get your girlfriend to explain what exactly bothers her about the situation. From there, you can start to help her understand that this woman is in no way a threat to you and your girlfriend. Help your girlfriend by giving her some suggestions as to what to say to this woman if she keeps bragging.

[DEB]

No way, cut out the complications in your life, and quit the swim team. Find another swim team where there is no animosity. File a miscellaneous complaint to the person who is in charge of the swim team if this is a team you would like to stay with. Either that, or the girl in your life will lose respect for you, or even distrust you. You don't want to go the distrust way, because believe me once that trust is destroyed, regaining it is nearly impossible. Do yourself a favor- if you love the girl you are with- shag the swim team. This shows what you set as a priority. There is nothing worse than being treated as second best, and worse having something such as a swim team take priority would be devastating.

I ran into a situation that has my girlfriend all bothered and jealous. It started when I joined a swim team. There's a girl who helps out the team by collecting, distributing and washing towels. To my surprise, she is allowed in our locker room while we get showered and changed. Though the reason is supposed to be that she is helping with the towels, it's no secret she does this because she likes to see guys in the nude. The other's aren't bothered by this and claim she's good luck to the team. I figured what the heck, if it doesn't bother them, why should it bother me. Besides, she's kind of cute. Well she knows my girlfriend and she has told her how she's allowed to work in the locker room and that she has seen me as well as the others in the buff. Well this has my girlfriend very upset. I told her it doesn't mean anything. I told my girlfriend that though this girl may be a bit of a tease at times, and likes to watch us in the locker room, it doesn't go beyond that. She's just having some fun. I've gotten used to it, but I don't know about my girlfriend. Do you think she's over reacting?