neveragain2493 Posted June 7, 2008 Share Posted June 7, 2008 me and this one guy have been friends for the longest. we've even talked about dating, and yes, i do like him. the other day, i was talking to another guy who was a friend, and the guy i like was so angry because he said i was 'flirting' with him. i figured it was jealousy. i told the guy i liked him, but he wouldn't believe me. so i figured i'd talk to the guy he thought i was flirting with. this guy said he would talk to the guy i liked, and reassure him that it was him i was liking, and that i was not flirting. well, i got a message from the guy i like. it made him even angrier that i told the guy 'our business', and that he was over everything else until he found out i told the other guy, and that i didn't 'help' anything. he said that now he couldn't trust me anymore. i told him that since he thought i was flirting with the other guy, that would make it his business too. we're best friends and we've been through a lot. i'm so hurt. what's going on with him, and when will he come to his senses? please help. right now i'm letting him cool down, but what should i do? Link to post Share on other sites
king_midas Posted June 8, 2008 Share Posted June 8, 2008 Jealousy in relationships in and of itself isn't the worst thing. It's sort of the one emotion that can never be truly tamed, I think. It's more about how you act on it and you need to ensure it doesn't run wild and carry you away. What's really happening here is that your friend is insecure, and is masquerading that insecurity as jealousy. Most people have some sort of insecurity/-ies, especially (younger) people who don't yet "possess" their object of affection. It's simple really, he's afraid he won't "have" you: either as a girlfriend or as a friend if you forget about him upon dating someone else. There are cases where jealousy can be a reasonably expected outcome. Flipping out merely because you talk to another person with a penis is not one of them. It's immature and ridiculous, considering you are technically just friends. He needs to get over it, and if you're gonna date, you need to assess whether a potential jealous control freak is someone you want to deal with. (Hint: It's not.) He's like a puppy and you've got to smack him on the nose with a rolled-up newspaper NOW, before it gets worse. If you "accept" this bad behaviour, soon he'll be ****ting all over the carpets and ****ing your visitor's legs. WITH JEALOUSY. If he can't trust you anymore, that's entirely his and problem not yours. You've done nothing wrong. Flirting is a part of human behaviour and people often flirt regardless of whether they are actually interested in the person they're flirting with or not. If you're gonna date and you both like each other, what's the hold up? If not, he better get used to you making decisions about (potential) partners that aren't him. Otherwise you won't be friends for long, and I can guarantee you unpleasant arguments and crying until that unhappy bursting point. Link to post Share on other sites
Author neveragain2493 Posted June 9, 2008 Author Share Posted June 9, 2008 thanks so much! i knew it was jealousy. i apologized for telling the other guy about it, and i admitted it was wrong. he said it was fine, but that he had just told me many things in the past, and it made him wonder how much i'd told others. he said everything he did was out of anger. i wasn't even flirting with the guy to begin with. he and i are friends. he told me he was angry in the first place because 'that guy is an a**hole, and you shouldn't be flirting with someone like him.' Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts