zicke Posted June 13, 2008 Share Posted June 13, 2008 1) I haven't been to a club in years. 2) My whole point is that it is by no means just this "one woman". 3) You should not assume that the indifference approach is "difficult" while the "nice guy" approach is not? Putting in a bunch of "nice guy" work time and again and getting the "you're a great friend" line as a reward is plenty "difficult" trust me. Really, dating is not rocket science. Either the person is interested or not interested. If you have to act a certain way..ie: not your nature, to date someone, it will be doomed from the start. I've been dating steadily for many, many years. Yes, I have had ONE ******* boyfriend, but for the most part, my dating experiences have been wonderful. I can not even think of one ex who had to play some sort of game, or act a certain way. They were who they were, mostly very interested in the typical way men are. I never had to guess whether or not they were interested. I knew they were. I also let them know I was interested in more at the get go. Not to say I wasn't kinda indifferent to guys I wasn't interested in, cos I was. but to the men I had major long term, engagement relationships with, it was simple. We were attracted to one another, clicked and whalla---relationship. Not a lot of drama and stuff. It just happened. Link to post Share on other sites
RainWoman Posted June 13, 2008 Share Posted June 13, 2008 who's the troll? you created a name to make 2 posts yelling at people? lol!!!!! im sorry if i feel a woman shouldnt be so serious over a geek at work that she's never even dated. she needs to really lighten up as do you mrs-i-never-get-laid-and-stay-on-the-computer-to-yell-at-women. I actually joined this website to post about my own situation but after reading some of the responses here, I think that would only make me feel worse. I have read some of your other responses. You seem to get off by making jokes about other peoples problems. Does doing that make you feel good about yourself? Link to post Share on other sites
RainWoman Posted June 13, 2008 Share Posted June 13, 2008 Really, dating is not rocket science. Either the person is interested or not interested. If you have to act a certain way..ie: not your nature, to date someone, it will be doomed from the start. I've been dating steadily for many, many years. Yes, I have had ONE ******* boyfriend, but for the most part, my dating experiences have been wonderful. I can not even think of one ex who had to play some sort of game, or act a certain way. They were who they were, mostly very interested in the typical way men are. I never had to guess whether or not they were interested. I knew they were. I also let them know I was interested in more at the get go. Not to say I wasn't kinda indifferent to guys I wasn't interested in, cos I was. but to the men I had major long term, engagement relationships with, it was simple. We were attracted to one another, clicked and whalla---relationship. Not a lot of drama and stuff. It just happened. That is your life. It doesn't work that way for everyone. Link to post Share on other sites
RainWoman Posted June 13, 2008 Share Posted June 13, 2008 yeah ok TROLL! NOW GET LOST! you're so uptight, you probably cant even get off with your own hands. I'm so pleased that you agree. It is a fact that people who need to bring other people down, feel very badly about themselves. Link to post Share on other sites
MrsHellnoFire Posted June 13, 2008 Share Posted June 13, 2008 Really, dating is not rocket science. Either the person is interested or not interested. If you have to act a certain way..ie: not your nature, to date someone, it will be doomed from the start. I've been dating steadily for many, many years. Yes, I have had ONE ******* boyfriend, but for the most part, my dating experiences have been wonderful. I can not even think of one ex who had to play some sort of game, or act a certain way. They were who they were, mostly very interested in the typical way men are. I never had to guess whether or not they were interested. I knew they were. I also let them know I was interested in more at the get go. Not to say I wasn't kinda indifferent to guys I wasn't interested in, cos I was. but to the men I had major long term, engagement relationships with, it was simple. We were attracted to one another, clicked and whalla---relationship. Not a lot of drama and stuff. It just happened. Me either. But that seems to be the new type of products they are selling these days to make millions. Some miracle cure to get dates, only if you attain these female companions, how long will it last built on fake behavior? How long does one have to keep up a facade? Link to post Share on other sites
MrsHellnoFire Posted June 13, 2008 Share Posted June 13, 2008 I'm so pleased that you agree. It is a fact that people who need to bring other people down, feel very badly about themselves. Nobody is trying to bring anybody down except you. It's called projection and you fit it precisely. Is this what your husband does to get rid of you? Throws you on the computer so you can harass others instead of him. Well, I'll help if it keeps him free for the night. Link to post Share on other sites
RainWoman Posted June 13, 2008 Share Posted June 13, 2008 Nobody is trying to bring anybody down except you. It's called projection and you fit it precisely. Is this what your husband does to get rid of you? Throws you on the computer so you can harass others instead of him. Well, I'll help if it keeps him free for the night. If you are not trying to bring anyone down, than why such mean responses? I looked at your "advice". You spit poison. Link to post Share on other sites
Trialbyfire Posted June 13, 2008 Share Posted June 13, 2008 Gentlemen, I am speaking to you, so I'm going to close it with this one, but please note again this assumption that if you alter your approach to the women you'd like to date by practicing indifference, you are behaving in a dishonest, manipulative, emotionally unhealthy way that will be "seen through" and rejected by all but the few women out there who respond to such "games". Yet, when you alter your normal behavior by approaching a woman you'd like to date in a way that is extra "nice" or "sensitive" or "emotionally available" no one makes such accusations. That is not because acting in these ways is inherently more "honest" or "real" or "natural" but is rather because, in this particular society at this particular time in history, the "nice guy" approach is "in" and the other approach is not. Neither approach is inherently more genuine, but the indifference approach is unquestionably more effective. And to those of you men who just can't see yourselves practicing more indifference when dealing with the women you'd like to date, I can only say that if you'd like to stop failing and start succeeding, it might be time to man up and make some changes. Read what I posted. If none of it is real, including the fake nice guy, it's nothing but manipulative games. Maybe you gents should just learn to be yourselves so the big let down doesn't happen when you do show your real side. Link to post Share on other sites
MrsHellnoFire Posted June 13, 2008 Share Posted June 13, 2008 If you are not trying to bring anyone down, than why such mean responses? I looked at your "advice". You spit poison. What exactly is your point on this thread again ( besides stalking me like a psycho)? Link to post Share on other sites
zicke Posted June 13, 2008 Share Posted June 13, 2008 I think some of the comments made this evening pertaining to this post, are beyond RUDE. I find it funny that some people are telling this woman how rude she was to the "geek" but than they turn around and post such garbage. Seems hypocrital. Really? Hypocritical? How? I've been adamant in that Kendall was completely rude to the man she was interested in. What does "geek" have to do with anything. The guy had other plans, she took major offense. Because it was all about her and her needs RIGHT NOW. Link to post Share on other sites
RainWoman Posted June 13, 2008 Share Posted June 13, 2008 What exactly is your point on this thread again ( besides stalking me like a psycho)? I feel sorry for you. You must live a very unhappy life. God bless. Link to post Share on other sites
RainWoman Posted June 13, 2008 Share Posted June 13, 2008 Really? Hypocritical? How? I've been adamant in that Kendall was completely rude to the man she was interested in. What does "geek" have to do with anything. The guy had other plans, she took major offense. Because it was all about her and her needs RIGHT NOW. Seems that some have taken this post to heart. I thought this forum was for help not bullying. Link to post Share on other sites
MrsHellnoFire Posted June 13, 2008 Share Posted June 13, 2008 I feel sorry for you. You must live a very unhappy life. God bless. LOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL DING DONG THE WITCH IS DEAD! WOOHOO!!! P.S.. if you used your real user name, I'd have much more respect for you. Shooo now. Link to post Share on other sites
zicke Posted June 13, 2008 Share Posted June 13, 2008 Gentlemen, I am speaking to you, so I'm going to close it with this one, but please note again this assumption that if you alter your approach to the women you'd like to date by practicing indifference, you are behaving in a dishonest, manipulative, emotionally unhealthy way that will be "seen through" and rejected by all but the few women out there who respond to such "games". Yet, when you alter your normal behavior by approaching a woman you'd like to date in a way that is extra "nice" or "sensitive" or "emotionally available" no one makes such accusations. That is not because acting in these ways is inherently more "honest" or "real" or "natural" but is rather because, in this particular society at this particular time in history, the "nice guy" approach is "in" and the other approach is not. Neither approach is inherently more genuine, but the indifference approach is unquestionably more effective. And to those of you men who just can't see yourselves practicing more indifference when dealing with the women you'd like to date, I can only say that if you'd like to stop failing and start succeeding, it might be time to man up and make some changes. JUSTIN, I think that you are confusing "indifference" with having a full "life". A man who has a full life doesn't need to play games, he has no time for it, neither does a woman with a full life. It's when your only goal is a "other" where people get into trouble. ' Women want men with a life, they do not care for men who care less about them. Unless they have self esteem issues. Well, then you just reap what you sow. Link to post Share on other sites
RainWoman Posted June 13, 2008 Share Posted June 13, 2008 LOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL DING DONG THE WITCH IS DEAD! WOOHOO!!! P.S.. if you used your real user name, I'd have much more respect for you. Shooo now. I'm a witch? How so? You are the one being NASTY. And this is my "real user name" As far as respect goes...you don't have a clue lady. Link to post Share on other sites
zicke Posted June 13, 2008 Share Posted June 13, 2008 Seems that some have taken this post to heart. I thought this forum was for help not bullying. Projection? Link to post Share on other sites
RainWoman Posted June 13, 2008 Share Posted June 13, 2008 JUSTIN, I think that you are confusing "indifference" with having a full "life". A man who has a full life doesn't need to play games, he has no time for it, neither does a woman with a full life. It's when your only goal is a "other" where people get into trouble. ' Women want men with a life, they do not care for men who care less about them. Unless they have self esteem issues. Well, then you just reap what you sow. You seem to be a know-it-all. Link to post Share on other sites
Gawdess Posted June 13, 2008 Share Posted June 13, 2008 I'm a witch? How so? You are the one being NASTY. And this is my "real user name" As far as respect goes...you don't have a clue lady. This is getting ridiculous. Grow up, ladies. Link to post Share on other sites
marlena Posted June 13, 2008 Share Posted June 13, 2008 I have not read the whole thread but just the beginning so forgive me if I have lost a few episodes. I, too, would have expected a man that I had asked out on a date to reserve the night for me and cancel all other plans. Or if he couldn't cancel other plans, then, he should not have accepted on that particular day but asked for a new date to see the movie. This,IMO, is plain courtesy and a gentlemanly thing to do. He sounds very immature which of course he is considering he is only 24. However, my dear, you blew your cool by calling in front of him and making other plans. Now that was immature on your part. Acting petulant wasn't a very mature or smart thing to do as well. It might have been better if you hid your disappointment and proceeded as usual around him. You could have also suggested a new date to see the movie. Anyway, just my two cents. Best of luck with this guy as you sound like you like him very much. Link to post Share on other sites
MrsHellnoFire Posted June 13, 2008 Share Posted June 13, 2008 JUSTIN, I think that you are confusing "indifference" with having a full "life". A man who has a full life doesn't need to play games, he has no time for it, neither does a woman with a full life. It's when your only goal is a "other" where people get into trouble. ' Women want men with a life, they do not care for men who care less about them. Unless they have self esteem issues. Well, then you just reap what you sow. On target. What happens when the facade wears down and men revert to their true character? It seems like just a tactic to gain sexual partners, not long-term relationships. Link to post Share on other sites
Tony Posted June 13, 2008 Senior Moderators Share Posted June 13, 2008 This thread has ceased being productive and constructive and of any use to the OP. Most of the latter posts are off topic, argumentative or sarcastic. I hope all will go to other threads and adhere to our guidelines. Meanwhile this thread is closed. Thank you! Link to post Share on other sites
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