It's sad but is it necessary?

[KenzieAbsolutely]

Kenzie you seem to have some preconceived idea about the other woman whom I write about having called her both a trollop and a hussy. Can I just inform you that she is neither only a caring woman who happened to fall in love with a married man. She certainly isn't deserving of the names that seem to flow off your tongue.

 

oh, well. still a trollop. still a hussy. maybe a nice, caring one though, sure. i'm sure your wife would love her.

[MrFymie]

Hello again and I am sorry to drag up this old thread but I have just come across it again and thought it might be interesting to post an update of where I am right now.

 

I left my wife of 30 years to live in my own space and shortly after, my new and exciting, and very gorgeous, girlfriend moved in with me. Very soon the closeness, the love, the incredible sex and everything else started to diminish. Oh, it was very slow at first and I couldnt work out why it was happening but then it escalated to nothing very quickly. I eventually asked her to move out last week and she obliged and I still dont know what went wrong or why it did. She spoke of guilt and my wanting to be with my wife and daughter before her and that I would never be settled with her and I could never get her to change her feelings about that.

 

I still have a lot of contact with my wife and my daughter and although I long for what I once had and threw away, I know it will never happen. I stupidly thought my wife would still be there waiting for me if things ever went bad between my girlfriend and myself, but she wasn't there when things turned ugly and I was left on my own. She had moved on emotionally and even though we talk almost daily in a very friendly way, we both know I broke the trust bond between us and that is unforgivable.

 

I have read through this thread from the start and throughout all the posts was excellent advice and suggestions from people who were smarter than I. Maybe the answers came from experience, but my willingness to dismiss them and the advice given, came from a place clouded in arrogance. In the end I am left on my own and that is something I think about every minute of every day. From my 30 year relationship with my wife I have a beautiful daughter and a headfull of happy and loving memories that I cherish. From my girlfriend, I am left empty in heart and head and nursing a case of HPV, (which is why I can never go back to my wife). I post this today not just to give you an update but also as a warning to anybody who is tempted like I was. Please reconsider if you are thinking about leaving your wife or partner and please do not think for one second that your case is different because it isnt. All in all, right now, I am feeling like a loser and I am also feeling so saddened by the heartache I have given others. Thank you for reading.

[Touche]

Mr. Fy, from the bottom of my heart I'm so, so sorry. I think you did a stupid thing, obviously (I was one of the posters here) but you're NOT a loser. You're not.

 

Try to give your family all the support you can. Be there as the best friend you can. You can make up for this in a way.

 

Also, I have no doubt in my mind that you've just helped countless people by posting this update.

 

God bless you and may you heal quickly. Please don't beat yourself up too much. We all make mistakes. Do what you can to make it up to those you've hurt and try to find some happiness for yourself.

[Mr. Lucky]

Sad but, based on Loveshack history, somewhat predictable. It's amazing the number of WS that return here to post that the grass wasn't greener. I agree that you've done a service by returning here to update your story, maybe someone pondering a similar leap off the cliff will read and think twice.

 

I'm going to assume that, based on a 30-year marriage, you are 50 or so with much life left to live. No where to go but forward, be there for your daughter and keep fighting the good fight. I hope you keep posting...

 

Mr. Lucky

[MrFymie]

Many thanks for the words of encouragement Touche and Mr. Lucky.

 

For me some days are better than others, but all of them are somewhat tough at times.

 

Interestingly, I used to often quote a saying about living and my life that I had heard and thought it pretty cool. It goes like this: It is better to regret something you did, than something you didn't.

 

Let me tell you, that quote is pure crap. I will regret what I did for a long long time yet.

 

But as was said to me, the only way is up from where I am, so each morning I drag myself from my bed and to the local swimming pool, and swim for an hour before going to work and every day, I am sure it gets that little tad easier. Even if isnt really getting easier, I am getting a lot slimmer and fitter..lol, but the swimming and keeping occupied helps a lot.

[Sands_of_time]

For me some days are better than others, but all of them are somewhat tough at times.

 

Interestingly, I used to often quote a saying about living and my life that I had heard and thought it pretty cool. It goes like this: It is better to regret something you did, than something you didn't.

 

Let me tell you, that quote is pure crap. I will regret what I did for a long long time yet.

 

MrFymie--I am sure your pain runs quite deep. I am exmpathetic (don't agree with the cheating but nevertheless we are all human) and almost shed a tear after reading your post.

 

It goes to show how addictive the feeling of infatuation/love can be. You seem like you had a lot going for you that most people would envy..ie, good wife, beautiful daughter, relative happiness pealing potatoes with your wife, good financial outlook for you and your wife and daughter when she needs it.

 

Just as the previous poster mentioned, you undoubtedly helped others by your update.

[Spineman696]

Mr Frye - I sincerely thank you for your post...from the bottom of my heart. I am in a very similar situation to you although I have not cheated physically yet, however the emotional affair has been very significant. It is with a woman I have known for 2 yrs now. I have all of this in another post and the reason I came here was to see if I could find someone who had taken one of the 2 roads that are before me. From the advice I have received on my original post I have realized that I need counseling both individually and with my wife. I spoke to her about the counseling tonight and we are going to start next week. I had decided to stay with my wife as long as I could, but still had the OW in my mind.

 

Your post has showed me what will happen if I choose to go down the road of leaving my wife. And it has strengthened my resolve to both stay with my family and to become the man they deserve. I am very sorry that this has happened to you, that you have to deal with this everyday. But I am very thankful that you chose to post it on here, b/c it may be the very thing that keeps my family together. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.