She won't let me go NC.

[WiseOne1]

My gf broke up with me because she says that she didnt feel the same. I been there for her since day 1. We was friends 4 years before we started dating.

 

She always complained about how past BF's treated her, i was the first Bf to get her a Valentines day gift, i was the first Bf to get her a B day gift, i was the first boy not to cheat on her.

 

So i tried treating her like a princess, so she broke up with me saying she didnt feel the same, she took me thru so much, what really damaged our relationship was when one of her old ex's came back and she got feelings for him again. But i still stayed there for her.

 

Shes been lieing the last past weeks saying she didnt have a Bf but she admitted that she does. Im so mad i spent so much money on her like 1,000 and i was there for her way to much.

 

Me and her was trying to be friends again because we started out being friends, but i dont feel hurt, i feel betrayed. How could she say she loves me so much but her actions didnt add up to how much she loved me.

 

Hell, she got over her ex in 1 year, thats the same ex that had came back in the middle of our relationship, and she told me she loved me more than him, but she got over me in 4 months!

 

So lately shes really been pressuring to be friends and i dont wanna be friends i really dont want anything to do with her. I just wanna move on. So what should i do?

[MotoMan]

She pretty much laid it out for you with her actions. Let her go. There's another woman out there who will appreciate you more and love you better. This girl wants to keep you in her back pocket so if things don't work out with her current BF then she can reel you back in. Don't be her doormat.

[WiseOne1]

Yea she just makes it so hard when she starts to throw our friendship in my face. Because before we hooked up we was Best Friends, but now i just feel used, i dont love her nor do i like her, i actually hate her.

 

But maybe its just because i knew her for 5 years that its so hard just to kick her to the curve. After all shes done to me, i dont even wanna be friends anymore.

 

Should i feel bad when she tells me that i never listened to her, for godsakes she was talking about her ex bf and how much she loved him, and how she thought she would never get over him.

She told me over and over again that she never loved anyone and defintely didnt have feelings for a ex. So when we broke up her main argument was that i "I Didnt Listen To Her" What kind of trash is that???

 

Who in the right mind is gonna listen to there Gf talk about her past with the EX BF, i feel that i had every right to be upset. So we stay together for 7 months after that and she comes out of the blue saying she doesnt feel the same way!

 

And then lies and says that she choose me over her ex, what really happened is he ran off for another girl the moment he felt something better than her came alone, so yea she got "Owned" 2 times in a row. So then she tried to twist it around saying she choose me.

 

Bassically her and her stupid friends tried to present it to me that

"Even though shes saying that shes in love with another guy"

"Even though shes saying shes still has feeling for someone she told you she didnt"

"Even though your the current bf you should sit there calm and let your gf cry over a ex like girls cry over N'Sync.

"Even though she says your the only one she ever loved, and then comes out the blue with a big bomb shell when he returns"

 

Bassically all im asking is, Did i have every right to be pissed off and not listen to her during that time?

[Stockalone]

Shes been lieing the last past weeks saying she didnt have a Bf but she admitted that she does. Im so mad i spent so much money on her like 1,000 and i was there for her way to much.

 

You should have given her those gifts because you loved her. After a break-up, you shouldn't dwell on the money those gifts cost you.

 

Unless she conned you out of some money or you gave her a loan, you should just forget about that. No good will come of it.

 

 

So lately shes really been pressuring to be friends and i dont wanna be friends i really dont want anything to do with her. I just wanna move on. So what should i do?

 

If you are sure that you don't want her in your life again, you can just tell her that. Just make sure that decision is something you thought about and not something born out of anger that you might regret later.

 

 

Bassically all im asking is, Did i have every right to be pissed off and not listen to her during that time?

 

Sure you did. You don't need to be the dumpster for her emotional crap. If you want nothing to do with her ever again, tell her that she can go bitch about the things that bother her to her new bf. But if you tell her to f*ck off, you better mean it. There might come a time where you have to stand your ground and prove that you aren't going to crawl back when she still keeps trying to remain friends.

 

If you want to remain civil, you can tell her that you are not willing to maintain a friendship that is solely on her terms. Tell her that you can't just go back to being friends like nothing happened.

[WiseOne1]

You should have given her those gifts because you loved her. After a break-up, you shouldn't dwell on the money those gifts cost you.

 

Unless she conned you out of some money or you gave her a loan, you should just forget about that. No good will come of it.

 

 

 

 

If you are sure that you don't want her in your life again, you can just tell her that. Just make sure that decision is something you thought about and not something born out of anger that you might regret later.

 

 

 

 

Sure you did. You don't need to be the dumpster for her emotional crap. If you want nothing to do with her ever again, tell her that she can go bitch about the things that bother her to her new bf. But if you tell her to f*ck off, you better mean it. There might come a time where you have to stand your ground and prove that you aren't going to crawl back when she still keeps trying to remain friends.

 

If you want to remain civil, you can tell her that you are not willing to maintain a friendship that is solely on her terms. Tell her that you can't just go back to being friends like nothing happened.

 

 

Yea i mean i just wish i never met her, and i see exactly what your saying but for someone strange reason i feel that its only right that we become friends again, and i then i feel like f*** her.

 

I dont feel like being friends like nothing ever happened, when i wasnt treated fairly for the entire relationship, she had her way to much, but i dont even want her back, i've been on LS for about 3 years and i've been on here about 2 diffrent relationships, but this one, i dont care for a second chance.

 

Is there anyway to get over her and still be friends?

[Template]

You are going through a confusing phase right now, and it's totally understandable. You have to handle these situations real delicately because is easy to go off the deep end, one way or the other, and make the wrong decision. Sometimes a relationship has run its course, whether its just a friendship or a relationship. From what I'm reading though, her actions don't correspond to her words. Maybe you should tell her how you feel, and make your decision based on what she says. If it was me, I'd totally cut her off, and proceed with the NC business as usual. Just because she's trying to contact you, doesn't mean you need to be available for contact. Ignore her calls, IM's, text, etc. Maybe in time, in the future, you can be friends again, but to be honest, in your emotional state right now, it probably isn't the recommended course of action.

[kizik]

I agree with Template. Politely tell her, "I'm sorry, but I can't be friends. It's too painful." And stop accepting her calls, texts, etc.

 

Then you can begin healing. Healing does not work when one is in contact with the person that hurt him/her.

[Stockalone]

Yea i mean i just wish i never met her, and i see exactly what your saying but for someone strange reason i feel that its only right that we become friends again, and i then i feel like f*** her.

 

I dont feel like being friends like nothing ever happened, when i wasnt treated fairly for the entire relationship, she had her way to much, but i dont even want her back, i've been on LS for about 3 years and i've been on here about 2 diffrent relationships, but this one, i dont care for a second chance.

 

Revenge is not a good idea. Not that I don't understand how intriguing that option seems. After all, it's just about getting even, nothing more, nothing less.

 

In that situation, my advice would be to tell her what bothers you in no uncertain terms. You can do that without spewing hatred; simply tell her what bothered you in a calm manner. If she doesn't listen to you or dismisses your concerns, then I don't think that friendship is an option.

 

But I don't have female friends, so I am probably not the best person to give advice on that specific situation. I am sure that the dynamics are different in a case like yours where you have been friends before you dated.

 

 

Is there anyway to get over her and still be friends?

 

I never stayed friends with an ex. But those situations were different from yours where you have been friends before you dated.

[CaliGuy]

My gf broke up with me because she says that she didnt feel the same. I been there for her since day 1. We was friends 4 years before we started dating.

 

She always complained about how past BF's treated her, i was the first Bf to get her a Valentines day gift, i was the first Bf to get her a B day gift, i was the first boy not to cheat on her.

 

So i tried treating her like a princess, so she broke up with me saying she didnt feel the same, she took me thru so much, what really damaged our relationship was when one of her old ex's came back and she got feelings for him again. But i still stayed there for her.

 

Shes been lieing the last past weeks saying she didnt have a Bf but she admitted that she does. Im so mad i spent so much money on her like 1,000 and i was there for her way to much.

 

Me and her was trying to be friends again because we started out being friends, but i dont feel hurt, i feel betrayed. How could she say she loves me so much but her actions didnt add up to how much she loved me.

 

Hell, she got over her ex in 1 year, thats the same ex that had came back in the middle of our relationship, and she told me she loved me more than him, but she got over me in 4 months!

 

So lately shes really been pressuring to be friends and i dont wanna be friends i really dont want anything to do with her. I just wanna move on. So what should i do?

 

Based on the information you've posted here, required reading for you is:

 

"No More Mr. Nice Guy" - Glover.

 

Doing "nice" things for her doesn't obligate her to love you. You'll learn this in the book. Women base their decisions on how you make them feel, not what you do for them.

 

Read the book. For your own sake.

[WiseOne1]

Yea, i guess i just have to have the power to let her loose.

 

Im so stuck, i dont know what to do, maybe its a ego thing, maybe my ego is just bruised up, or maybe i just really feel the same as when me and her were Best Friends.

 

I dont know what to do.

[kizik]

We just told you what to do.

 

*sigh*

[WiseOne1]

I know and thanks to all. We all here on LS know its easier to talk or say something than really to do it.

 

And yesterday she got very very very very angry at me because she thought i had a new GF. She was asking me questions like have we had sex yet, and i actually became scared because i never ever seen her get so angry before.

 

She was so obsessed and asked me 20 questions and really flew off the handle when i wouldnt answer her

[heartoutside]

Dude this is INSANE. No one treats a "Friend" like she's treating you. My ex was my best friend, not before we got together but because we were together, and she feels the same way. And it sucks to have to walk away from your best friend, but you have to. She may have broken up with you, but it does come to a point where you have to do the real breaking up.

 

My ex and I got back together about 6 months ago, only to have her back out again after she had told me she made the biggest mistake of her life by leaving. She's now back together with the guy she started dating the first time around. I've now made the choice to walk away for good! For the first couple of weeks, maybe even months it really sucked. But now, I'm a whole new person!

 

Both of our birthdays were last week, 3 days apart. I didn't think she would say a thing to me, but she sent me a text saying happy b-day, so I just replied with a thank you. The next thing I know she's asking me out for a drink. I didn't reply.....she then replied again trying to guilt me into react by saying she thought we could be friends. And then the next day sent some of my family pics over with her roommate (her roommate was droping off a birthday gift for me). The pics were pics she knew I already had. I still didn't reply.....or react.

 

What I'm getting at is, she will keep on trying to get a reaction out of you because she knows she can. She's also probably a little lonely and knows she can count on you to fill the void....and you shouldn't. She left, there for she should deal with it on her own.

 

My ex is going through that again right now probably. She's dating a guy who everyone sees as having ZERO personality and ZERO looks, even her roommate thinks so. While I'm out having a blast with my friends, she's stuck with a wet blanket!

 

You need to stop this, stop her....you deserve better and being a doormat isn't the answer.

[WiseOne1]

Thanks, i just have to say that da champ is here.

 

Someone way or another i'll get over her. Its just that i been in the niceguy zone for so long that i forget how to be strict and str8 to the point.

 

She was there for me 4 years ago when i went thru this with my first love, and during that time she was going thru it with her first love bf. I think thats when we came so close. But i knew what she would thru and she knew what i went thru, the bad thing about it is that she critcized my ex for leaving a guy like me, anddddd SHE DID THE EXACT SAME THING.

[WiseOne1]

Thanks, im just gonna move on, i didnt let my last ex get away with it im not letting her ether.

 

Im not gonna let her put me as a door mat, she cant have both. Her bf now has to fill all the voids.

[WiseOne1]

OmarE that was a good story, i actually enjoyed reading it, i wish i had more of your courage.

 

I think im just gonna go NC until i get over her, the we can be friends, that way the battle field is even, stuff she does will no longer matter to me.

 

Thats the only way we can be friends. The only reason why it was so hard is because me and her use to talk 24/7 for the last 5 years, even when we were in diffrent relationships and when we were together.

 

I mean we actually both got calls from T Mobile stating that were were over using our FAV 5 and its suppose to be free for anyone on the fav 5.

 

So i guess i have to get use not talking to her all times of the day and night and morning.

[WiseOne1]

I need tremendous help though, see with me and her being best friends for about 5 years she knows exactly how i use to do NC and ignore other ex's.

 

She knows when im there and just not answering, she knows when im trying not to talk to her because she will send a txt message saying so.

 

All im saying is she knows me so well that doing Full NC wont work, i need to do limited NC, meanining that i need to answer the phone and pretend like im busy or something like that.

 

What do you guys think?

[Chrome Barracuda]

My gf broke up with me because she says that she didnt feel the same. I been there for her since day 1. We was friends 4 years before we started dating.

 

She always complained about how past BF's treated her, i was the first Bf to get her a Valentines day gift, i was the first Bf to get her a B day gift, i was the first boy not to cheat on her.

 

So i tried treating her like a princess, so she broke up with me saying she didnt feel the same, she took me thru so much, what really damaged our relationship was when one of her old ex's came back and she got feelings for him again. But i still stayed there for her.

 

Shes been lieing the last past weeks saying she didnt have a Bf but she admitted that she does. Im so mad i spent so much money on her like 1,000 and i was there for her way to much.

 

Me and her was trying to be friends again because we started out being friends, but i dont feel hurt, i feel betrayed. How could she say she loves me so much but her actions didnt add up to how much she loved me.

 

Hell, she got over her ex in 1 year, thats the same ex that had came back in the middle of our relationship, and she told me she loved me more than him, but she got over me in 4 months!

 

So lately shes really been pressuring to be friends and i dont wanna be friends i really dont want anything to do with her. I just wanna move on. So what should i do?

 

Some women can be just fickle with their emotions and are easily controlled by them. Forget her.

 

The thing is you see she has no loyalty. no sense of right and wrong. And even when you treat her good, she stabs you in the back. WTF would you even want to be with someone like that?

 

You can go NC and stay NC. You got to be strong to ignore her calls!!!

 

erase her email and number. if you got no dealings with her, then you should not be around her in any form or manner.

[CaliGuy]

I need tremendous help though, see with me and her being best friends for about 5 years she knows exactly how i use to do NC and ignore other ex's.

 

She knows when im there and just not answering, she knows when im trying not to talk to her because she will send a txt message saying so.

 

All im saying is she knows me so well that doing Full NC wont work, i need to do limited NC, meanining that i need to answer the phone and pretend like im busy or something like that.

 

What do you guys think?

 

Who cares what she knows about you? Just ignore her. Continue to ignore her. She'll get the message eventually. If you answer the phone you present many chances for you to say or do the wrong thing and for sure set yourself back.

[WiseOne1]

Sorry Guys. Big PROBLEM!

 

Emotions were running high and so were hormones, me and her did it and she cryed after saying that she would have never done that if it was me.

 

Now i feel bad, but even though i know the other guy is using her for sex a 100%, heck the only thing he asks her about is sex.

 

But she started crying and i felt so bad. She said she felt dirty and diguisting.

[WiseOne1]

Now i really feel bad, i feel like im a bad person. And now i cant go NC anymore, because then she would think that i just wanted to mess up her current relalationship, if i just took off.

 

She started cyring in the end of sex and i thought it was that good, i thought she was having a huge orgasim and she still did but it was mixed with crying. I really dont feel bad, do you think that anything will change in between us?

[justaman99]

She started cyring in the end of sex and i thought it was that good, i thought she was having a huge orgasim and she still did but it was mixed with crying. I really dont feel bad, do you think that anything will change in between us?

 

She has a lot of things she needs to sort out in her mind. I kind of feel sorry for her. To cry after sex to me means she feels very conflicted, confused, hurt. She cheated on her current bf now and she's not sure where she's at with you. Maybe she feels that all guys do is use her for sex. This is a tough one because one side of me says be there for her to help her through whatever she's dealing with but that will set you up for more pain. The other side tells me leave her be to sort through these things on her own. I think you need to distance yourself from her for awhile. Tell her she needs time to figure out what she's doing and what she's feeling and you can't always be there for her right now

[WiseOne1]

Thanks Man,

 

Yea i dont know what to do, she hasnt call me all day,and im not sure if shes avoiding me, but if i just got NC right now she will swear that i did that just to mess up her relationship.

 

I really dont feel bad for her current bf, he only wants her for sex and has been asking for for sex for the last 2 years that they were friends, so if hes been talking sexually since then, thats just proof.

 

The first time i was just in the mood, and the second time i was just testing because she promised me that we would not get that far anymore. And WoW

 

I need all the help i can get

[WiseOne1]

Hrm, I just realize I may have given bad advise.

I've applied my own situation to your story without really reading your story or knowing the circumstances of your break up hence my advise may or may not work.

 

But in all honestly, please cut all contact with her.

Do not respond to her attempts to contact you unless she shows up at your door.

 

I see your point. Good advice. Lately me and her have been talking about getting together. And your right it feels good to end things on your own terms. Because when she ends it on her own terms i feel hurt.

 

I kinda dont feel like i love her, it feels more like a jealously thing....i think i dont wanna see her with anyone else....it use to be all love and now its more of jealousy.

 

Either way i wanna end it on my terms because when i does she calls my house and my cell phones over and over and sends texts. Lol

 

So that plan of your sounds great, have you done that before?

[WiseOne1]

I was just reading some of your post OmarE and you think your ex left you for sexual reason? Why wouldnt you suck her, u know what.