wish i may wish i might

[wishfulwistful]

Hi everyone,

hope you're all doin/coping alrite, just wanna let out some stuff thats been playing in my mind..

i met the most beautiful girl i've known in a long time two months ago.we hit it off immediately.. and it seemed like i'd found someone i could spend a large part of my life with.. i knew i had found love. we spoke to each other everynight, saw each other everyday, and spent quite a bit of time together. she's the first girl that cares for me like no other girl has before. she makes everything around me beautiful and makes me want to be the best i can be. i know i'm in love..

i care for her a huge lot and have told her how i feel...bt it seems like she's not in the same boat! i couldn't believe it... there's no way she was leading me on.. shes the kind of girl whose into commited long-term relationships..like me. she says we were moving too fast and that she broke up with her ex earlier this year because there was no future.. he got sent home and she will be graduating soon. in our relationship, we're attracted to one another and we care for one another. i know she might be leaving at the end of this year and i will be staying. i'm not up for a long-distance relationship.. she tells me shes afraid of what happened before in her last break-up.

its easy for me to get over her and get life back to normal...bt it just hurts for me to accept her decision. i really believed we had something solid and beautiful and right here...perhaps i should not have expected too much from the start.

i just wish she would give me a chance to spend the rest of our time here together and see how it goes from there..or maybe its better to hurt a little now than a great deal more later?

Love is a risk and a gamble...i wish she would trust me and LEAP.

but i understand her concerns for her future.. it just hurts..plain and simple. i wish tonight she would set her heart free and love me.. i've shown her my heart and soul and i wish she could give me hers. L...i know theres no way you're reading this but still... follow your heart d.....close your eyes and feel me in your heart. no one knows whats gonna happen in the future.. its like you said..what matters now is the present... set your heart free.

[Tony T]

Well said.

[NEONINK]

There's a saying that goes,

 

"It's true that we don't know what we've got until we lose it, but it's also true that we don't know what we've been missing until it arrives."

 

Giving someone ALL your love is never an assurance that they'll love you back! Don't expect love in return; just wait for it to grow in their heart but if it doesn't, be content it grew in yours."

 

 

 

Now... that said, here's my Dear John letter to the one that didn't return it that I just sent yesterday. It really is too back when people withhold their love over fear. But it's also bad when we hold ourselves back from leaving because of fear as well.

 

 

D,

I’m tired, so I may have had an edge this morning, sorry about that. You see, I’ve been spending my time trying to figure out what I need to do.

 

I don’t know a lot, but I do know this, I’m my best when I feel loved; I’m my worst when I feel unloved.

 

And you make me feel unloved, and have for the longest time. All my bad moods and bad attitudes happen when I feel unloved, and boy have I felt moody and sad. Love is a decision, it’s a an act, it’s a state of mind, and it’s a gift. I don’t think a job or responsibilities ever made me get out of bed in the morning, but love did. Love for my job or my family or my partner. Love is the greatest gift God gave us. You don’t seem to have the same value in love right now that I do. But I don’t want to live without it and don’t plan to. I’ve tried to live by your rules and stipulations, now I’ve got to live by mine. I can’t change you, but I can change me.

 

I don’t know what this means to you, but it means I have to now open my options up and consider things I hadn’t considered. I just wanted you to know where I stand. I’ve never left you wondering anything regarding me, that’s how I am, and that’s what this is for.

Namaste

Lori

[wishfulwistful]

lori: "i'm at my best when i feel loved, my worst when i feel unloved"

that is so TRUE.

thanks for your words. i needed the support. Taaaaaaa