Bar chicks worth banging, not worth dating

[Krytie TV]

Go ahead give me ONE good reason why you would advise a man to sleep around but to steer clear of woman that sleep with you easily in terms of long term commitment? Go ahead ONE reason, I challenge you!

 

OK, now I finally see a question in all of this. Drumroll please....

 

... because we can and it works. Call it a double standard if you want, but it's the way of things. The only choice left to women who believe this to be true is not to bang without knowing who they're banging.

 

And seriously, what's with all of the hostility? It really brings me down being yelled at in text.

[Woggle]

It is very hard to find a good woman but until then why not have fun with the wrong women as long as a man wears protection? Some women are only good for a lay while other women are worth more but a man will have to live like a monk if he waits until the latter shows up in order to get laid.

[norajane]

TC, it's a double standard. There's no logic to it. In fact, you'd think a guy would want an 'easy lay' because, presumably, she enjoys sex enough to have it frequently even if she isn't in a relationship.

 

Men shoot themselves in the dick with that double standard. Women who want relationships know better than to be an easy lay, so guys find it harder to get sex, casual or otherwise. And women who don't like sex that much and who will later turn into that wife who only wants it twice a year, also appear to be the 'good' girls - the marrying kind instead of the easy lay kind.

[sally4sara]

It is very hard to find a good woman but until then why not have fun with the wrong women as long as a man wears protection? Some women are only good for a lay while other women are worth more but a man will have to live like a monk if he waits until the latter shows up in order to get laid.

 

Ahh, but Woggle, that works both ways. A woman can have some fun with the wrong ones too while searching for the right ones (protection of course). Unfortunately some guys would view her doing the same as a disqualification. I swear its as if the most spread around STD in the world is the one in the male mind. His penis has touched her "too soon" now she is spoiled. Maybe they should wash it better? Then a woman wouldn't be just another ho after his penis touched her? What is with the whole "shame stick" thing anyway?

 

The only real validation to this double standard is that it is easier for a guy to give a woman a STD/STI even with protection, than it is for a woman to give a man one without protection. By that reasoning, if a woman isn't more discriminating than your average guy, she can be seen as a higher risk healthwise.

[Untouchable_Fire]

"Don't settle for the easy lays you can get from a bar, steer clear from forming a long term relationship with these types of women BUT until you do meet the right girl, keep banging them anyway"

 

It's not really a true double standard in each situation.

 

Because men tend to have higher sex drives, it's much easier for women to find potential sex partners. In essence they typically do the choosing from potential suitors, not the other way around. For men it's much more difficult, and takes much more effort.

 

So, as a guy... do you want the woman who isn't too picky who she sleeps with? Fact is most of us don't, because if she isn't too picky.

 

Also, biologically, women are at a higher risk for nearly every STD, so if she is really loose... chances are good she has something nasty. So, I'm sure there is a good amount of instinct built into this.

[Stockalone]

SO if a man can explain the logic in that it would be great, but it looks like no one can because what it boils down it is ONE HUGE STINKING double standard with no rhyme or reason and a prick's way of making women feel bad and inferior about their sexuality when a guy can go out and be a slut all he wants and HE DESERVES A GOOD WOMAN?

 

Speaking as one of the "monks" that Krytie was referring to, I absolutely agree that it is a double standard.

 

The thing I have noticed though, is that my friends that have no problem banging the bar chick never get hold accountable for that by the good women they end up with in LTR's.

 

As long as a lot of women don't mind their man dividing the female population in chicks that he would bang (not her) and women he would date (her), what makes you think that guys will change?

[Tomcat33]

... because we can and it works.

 

 

NO it doesn't actually and you'll see why in a second. And WE get the last laugh on you poor fools that think this is the way it IS and that's that.

 

Call it a double standard if you want, but it's the way of things.

 

Yeah just as I suspected NOT ONE good reason why, it is simply a chavenistic double standard and nothing more with no rationale behind it whatsoever it basically says "I a man and I can demand to have a "decent clean woman" even though I am a douche bag and I push my brothers to also be douche bags and to spit on women who are free sprited sexually" .

 

TC, it's a double standard. There's no logic to it. In fact, you'd think a guy would want an 'easy lay' because, presumably, she enjoys sex enough to have it frequently even if she isn't in a relationship.

 

Men shoot themselves in the dick with that double standard. Women who want relationships know better than to be an easy lay, so guys find it harder to get sex, casual or otherwise. And women who don't like sex that much and who will later turn into that wife who only wants it twice a year, also appear to be the 'good' girls - the marrying kind instead of the easy lay kind.

 

 

THIS IS EXACTLY IT NJ so well put. The bottom line is that a lot of guys end up marrying skanks and they don't even know it! :laugh:

the very women they choose to be marriage material are the ones that do it all but do it quietly, because everyone knows that a good girl has to show it not necessarily be it. If there is one thing that is instilled in women from a very young age is to not appear to be slutty, that doesn't mean she can't be a total slutbag behind closed doors but she'd better not appear to be. So it is EXACTLY as NJ said, men think they are getting the good girl and they are not .It's a JOKE and it is all created by men's chauvenist double standard.

 

The smart woman holds out for the guy she wants that doesn't mean she didn't have a string of infinite one night stands with every tom and harry in town, but the guy she chose to be the one she will win over is the one that will have to hold out for her.

 

Why do women do this? because of men I described in the OP, because of some ridiculous psychological standard they concoct up in their heads that if a woman gives it up easy she is not worth pursuing, this MACHO nonsense yet that same guy turns around and tries to poke as many women as he can. Chances are if you are a sleeze bag you will also end up with a sleezebag just because she hid it from you only makes her a SMART sleebag which most these chauvenist pigs are just pigs, not smart!

 

 

Because men tend to have higher sex drives, it's much easier for women to find potential sex partners

 

Ok that's fine, I can see that but why punish the women who ARE willing to sleep with you and write them off as less than ideal for long term? Can't you see how you yourselves created this wall between the sexes with your stupid macho standards which serve no purpose at all other than to make better liars of women really...?

 

And ok so men have higher sex drives, jerk off and problem solved.

[tanbark813]

Tomcat, you're starting to contradict yourself. It sounds like you endorse women being free-spirited sexually but then you turn around and call men and women who sleep around sluts and sleezebags.

 

If you want to avoid the double-standard then I would think you need to decide if both men and women who sleep with a lot of people are or aren't relationship material.

[Stockalone]

Ok that's fine, I can see that but why punish the women who ARE willing to sleep with you and write them off as less than ideal for long term? Can't you see how you yourselves created this wall between the sexes with your stupid macho standards which serve no purpose at all other than to make better liars of women really...?

 

So the liars (women) complain about the hypocrites (men) and everyone blames the other gender to be responsible for that situation? What a wonderful world we live in.

[Tomcat33]

Tomcat, you're starting to contradict yourself. It sounds like you endorse women being free-spirited sexually but then you turn around and call men and women who sleep around sluts and sleezebags.

 

If you want to avoid the double-standard then I would think you need to decide if both men and women who sleep with a lot of people are or aren't relationship material.

 

 

I am not contradicting myself, I am talking from the prespective of men who have that double standard I don't think being in tune with your sexuality is being a slutbag or a douchebag. I am using the words facetiously.

 

To me a slutbag is somoene who is constantly going out to have one night stands and men do that, MOST women don't they may have one night stands and they may GO home with a guy at a bar but they certainly don't go out with that intent in mind as men tend to do. Of course there are women who do do that but as a general rule I think most women don't.

[Trialbyfire]

I'm not certain what this entire discussion is about or worth. It's pretty much known that if you're looking for a serious relationship, a bar isn't necessarily the greatest place to be looking for love. This is for both men and women.

[Tomcat33]

So the liars (women) complain about the hypocrites (men) and everyone blames the other gender to be responsible for that situation? What a wonderful world we live in.

 

 

No it's not everyone blames the others, it is MEN that have the double standard hence making women having to lie about their sexuality NOT the other way around. A woman can have a relationship with a man she has a one night stand with NOT so much the other way around. and that is where the problem lies.

 

If men are going to push their brothers to out there and kill time with women who are good for sex only why in the world would these same men expect to end up witha good girl one that does not sleep around?

 

Can someone answer that? Not gonna happen is it...

[tanbark813]

I am not contradicting myself, I am talking from the prespective of men who have that double standard I don't think being in tune with your sexuality is being a slutbag or a douchebag. I am using the words facetiously.

 

So avoid dating men who believe in that double-standard and you're good to go.

[Untouchable_Fire]

Ok that's fine, I can see that but why punish the women who ARE willing to sleep with you and write them off as less than ideal for long term? Can't you see how you yourselves created this wall between the sexes with your stupid macho standards which serve no purpose at all other than to make better liars of women really...?

 

And ok so men have higher sex drives, jerk off and problem solved.

 

It's not about how willing to sleep with me a woman is. It's how willing she is to sleep with every other guy.

 

I'm sorry but I don't think Men created this situation any more than women. Women tend to shy away from guys who are not very experienced.

 

Here is a simple solution. Stop sleeping with random guys! Problem solved.

 

Actually, I've noticed that the sleaziest women tend to also be the shallowest.

[Tomcat33]

So avoid dating men who believe in that double-standard and you're good to go.

 

 

this is not about me Tan, I have confidence in my ability to pick the kinds of men I want to date, it is a general discussion on a stigma that is implemtened by men against women and I want to know if there is ONE guy out there who can give me a good reason why they think this way.

I was giving men an opportunity to make sense of it all but there is no making sense of it all because it DOESN'T make sense AT ALL.

 

I was reading in another thread about a guy who wants to have a relationship and all he gets is women who want to go home with him at the bar and another guy adviced him to avoid those women like the plague to form relationships with them but to keep having sex with them because that's fine.

 

What that guy failed to see is that he is advising another guy to actually BE the exact same thing he is telling him to avoid. See what I mean?

 

That prompted me to open this thread.

[Stockalone]

No it's not everyone blames the others, it is MEN that have the double standard hence making women having to lie about their sexuality NOT the other way around. A woman can have a relationship with a man she has a one night stand with NOT so much the other way around. and that is where the problem lies.

 

Women don't have to lie about their sexuality, they choose to do so.

 

There are all sorts of men. There are those who don't hold it against a woman if they have a ONS together. Krytie was saying that and I am pretty sure that is what Tanbark meant too.

 

Then there are guys that don't want a "slut", that would be me raising his hand now. But I am not applying a double standard.

 

And there are the guys with the double standard that consider some women to not be dating material, but would still f*** them given the chance.

 

 

If men are going to push their brothers to out there and kill time with women who are good for sex only why in the world would these same men expect to end up witha good girl one that does not sleep around?

 

Can someone answer that? Not gonna happen is it...

 

Those men end up with women who don't care about that double standard. If the women wouldn't consider the male sluts to be dating material, we wouldn't have that discussion.

 

And frankly, I don't see how it helps that women lie about their past and make themselves out to be something they aren't.

[Tomcat33]

Like if a guy is having problems finding women for a long term relationship and all he gets are easy lays why would another man advise him to go out and keep sleeping with more of these women. Would it not make more sense to advise a man to learn to form FRIENDSHIPS with women, to stop objectifying them for his own pleasure and momentary gain when in the long run all this does is make him feel even more empty?

 

why do men advise other men to go out and get laid as much as you can between relationships, this just bastardizes the whole experience of sex really if you think about it. I can almost guarantee a lot of men DON't feel terrific about having a bunch of meanigless sexual encounters with women, you know what kind of men really do appreciate that? the kinds that can't get laid, so when they do and it happens more than once he thinks he has seen GOD!

[Cherry Blossom 35]

Carolyn Hax, the advice columnist, answered a question today that lies along these same lines. She says that a man who has one night stands with women but will not consider them dating material holds the basic view that women are lesser beings. That is because they lose their value when they have ONS sex but HE does not.

 

I have had long relationships with men I've slept with the first night and short relationships with men I've "waited" for. It all comes down to whether it's a match or not.

 

BTW, if I want sex I want sex and I don't see how that lessens my value as a woman. I wouldn't want to date a guy who had the attitude that women are sluts because they may have a ONS now and then. So I'm supposed to remain celibate in my chastity belt until I meet the man of my dreams? That may or may not happen, but I'm not going to deny myself one of life's great pleasures just because some guys have this attitude.

 

Safe sex, as always folks! And no, I don't have one night stands very often. But I have done it, for sure.

[Untouchable_Fire]

I can almost guarantee a lot of men DON't feel terrific about having a bunch of meanigless sexual encounters with women, you know what kind of men really do appreciate that? the kinds that can't get laid, so when they do and it happens more than once he thinks he has seen GOD!

 

That kind of proves our point.

 

See, your using the fact that a guy doesn't get laid much as an insult.

 

Do you see the double standard your creating in this? You can't have it both ways!

[Tomcat33]

Women don't have to lie about their sexuality, they choose to do so.

 

 

yes they do because you never know when a man is going to blow a gasket if you tell him you had more than 5 sexual partners in your past. I have read many many times a lot of men think more than 2 or three partners is too much or something ridiculous like that. A lot of men dont want to know their women had a heavy sexual past. It's that simple. We women have come to accept it because the double standard has been there for thousands of years.

 

 

There are all sorts of men. There are those who don't hold it against a woman if they have a ONS together. Krytie was saying that and I am pretty sure that is what Tanbark meant too.

 

Yes of course there are I never said there were not, but there are also a lot that hold the double standard and it is a russian rullette in that sense though you can tell what types of guys are more chauvenistic then others sometimes the bigger the slut the man is the more chauvenistic he is IRONCALLY enough.

 

 

 

And frankly, I don't see how it helps that women lie about their past and make themselves out to be something they aren't.

 

It is VERY simple really, it allows a woman to enjoy her sexuality in full splendour without having to be oppressed and made to feel inferior by a typical chauvenist pig. It makes sense really....so it is easier to play the innocent card.

[tanbark813]

Carolyn Hax, the advice columnist, answered a question today that lies along these same lines. She says that a man who has one night stands with women but will not consider them dating material holds the basic view that women are lesser beings. That is because they lose their value when they have ONS sex but HE does not.

 

This is a good point and I agree.

[Untouchable_Fire]

Carolyn Hax, the advice columnist, answered a question today that lies along these same lines. She says that a man who has one night stands with women but will not consider them dating material holds the basic view that women are lesser beings. That is because they lose their value when they have ONS sex but HE does not.

 

 

Carolyn Hax didn't tell you the whole truth.

 

A portion of those guys are as you say. However, the vast majority do not view all women as lesser beings... just the slutty ones. Do you catch the difference?

[Tomcat33]

That kind of proves our point.

 

See, your using the fact that a guy doesn't get laid much as an insult.

 

Do you see the double standard your creating in this? You can't have it both ways!

 

 

No double standard you are missing my point, or I am not making it clear. I don't have a problem with men who want to have sex when they have an urge I have a problem with men who say they only have one night stands, advise other men to also do so until a "good" woman comes along, and to never consider dating a woman who he slept with so easily THAT's is what makes a man a sleeze bag not the fact that he wants to be sexual with a woman as he pleases the fact he puts them down for complying.

 

Why is it that if a man finds a woman attractive enough to sleep with her he can also talk himself out of liking her BECAUSE he has already slept with her? you see that is the problem and I am not saying you HAVE to like every woman you sleep with for a an LTR but to purposely dismiss the a woman because she sleeps with you and also tell other men to do the same seems like a perptuation of hate more than anything.

 

Just seeing the kinds of men that responded here alone I can see the cool guys from the chavenists, well some are well know WOMAN haters around here and that particular poster answered accordingly.

[Tomcat33]

A portion of those guys are as you say. However, the vast majority do not view all women as lesser beings... just the slutty ones. Do you catch the difference?

 

 

And there we have it the million dollar standard if those men can make that distinction in such a general SWEEP then where the heck does that leave them? How much lower are they for doing THEMSELVES what they say is beneath them?

 

Catch the difference?

[Tomcat33]

Carolyn Hax, the advice columnist, answered a question today that lies along these same lines. She says that a man who has one night stands with women but will not consider them dating material holds the basic view that women are lesser beings. That is because they lose their value when they have ONS sex but HE does not.

 

I have had long relationships with men I've slept with the first night and short relationships with men I've "waited" for. It all comes down to whether it's a match or not.

 

 

 

that is a good conclusion I can totally see that.

 

In regard to the second part of your post, would you dismiss a man who slep with you on a first date then and treat him as a douche bag who must do with all the women?