Bar chicks worth banging, not worth dating

[SugarKiss]

I have seen this happen a lot that certain men tend to look down upon a girl if she sleeps with him too quickly and some men even play it out like they are into the girl but just because he gets it fast he loses interest. But these same men will recommend that guys sleep around anway. I find that extremely hypocritical

 

 

I have a comment for Fishtaco -

 

1. what makes you think this topic was about you? seems a little egocentric to me. why don't you let the person that started this topic answer for themselves what she meant? It's a general enough topic that I seriously doubt had anything to do with you in specfic, but even if it did it seems this happens a lot so regardless what your take on this topic is a lot men do this and women notice this as you can see with all the comments in this thread.

 

2. but after reading the link to the other post you made your comments on, I can see that what Tomcat was talking about was pretty much what you told the other guy in the other situation to do and you jumped the gun here to defend yourself here because you did give hypocritical advice.

 

I don't know why you are backpeddling trying to defend yourself now making it seem like your words were taken out of contex, they were not. you told a guy that was used to sleeping with women at bars to go on doing that but to not consider those women for long term dating. no matter how you try to play it off now, that is what you said and I don't think that Tomcat was twisting anything you said out of context at all.

 

 

I read your link thanks for posting it seems pretty straight forward to me.

 

 

so even if she was talking about you in this post this is what you originally said:

 

"Bars are generally bad places to meet women for relationship purposes.

So before you find a good woman as a GF, keep banging the bar chicks. That way you still get laid while you're looking. Not a bad plan as far as I'm concerned."

 

As far as I can see you stereotyped all women that hang out at bars as bad so why are you trying to backpeddle now? doesn't matter how you explain it you are doing exactly what tomcat said in the first post,

you are -

telling a man to stay away from the types of women he himself is mimicking.

 

I see hypocricy in your advice no matter how you slice it.

 

 

also you said that women that hang out with men after the bar closes are trash.

 

I have gone out for a bite to eat with guys we met out and we hung out after the clubs and even all went back to one of their houses to keep partying and then each one of us went home and no one slept with anyone and there was nothing trashy going on. In fact I met my last boyfriend like that, he called me three days after we met and we had hung out all night the night talking and getting to know one another in a group setting the night we met. We stayed together for 2 yrs after that.

 

so Fishtaco (nice name by the way) instead of telling that other guy to dismiss the "bar trash" and keep banging them anyway why don't you tell the guy to learn to devlop a connection with a girl that does not involve sex. just because a girl goes out for a bite to eat after a bar in a group doesn't mean she is trash.

 

that is so closedminded to say all women that hang out at the end at a club are trash and anyone who makes such claims is filled with critcism, I think is really down on themselves because when you make a harsh assumption that it is not about the types of women you will meet it is about you.

[Stockalone]

It's not "illegal," but it certainly isn't the "manly thing to do" in my book, nor in the book of any decent woman. I don't need to "rely on them" to do anything as I dismiss people like him quickly and unceremoniously from my circle.

 

I agree that is far from doing the right thing. But as much as I would like sometimes, I can't dictate others what they should and shouldn't do.

 

That is for example the reason why I don't read the "The Other Man / Woman" section. I already get sick to my stomach and want to bang my head against the wall while reading in some of the other sections.

[MaxManwell]

It's not "illegal," but it certainly isn't the "manly thing to do" in my book, nor in the book of any decent woman. I don't need to "rely on them" to do anything as I dismiss people like him quickly and unceremoniously from my circle.

 

'Manly men' laugh at such women, they're a joke, the pretty guy will sloppily bang her while the others will laugh at his story. Then the men get respectable jobs and marry decent women, that they probably met at that same bar. The bar whore's are just bar whore's and they're treated as such. In their older days (I guess 25+) they stay at home with their young families and drink with their friends at sociable places.

[luvmy2ns]

'Manly men' laugh at such women, they're a joke, the pretty guy will sloppily bang her while the others will laugh at his story. Then the men get respectable jobs and marry decent women, that they probably met at that same bar. The bar whore's are just bar whore's and they're treated as such. In their older days (I guess 25+) they stay at home with their young families and drink with their friends at sociable places.

 

If that's your idea of a "man," then yes. You SERIOUSLY need therapy (harking back to your other thread).

 

It's interesting how EVERYBODY ELSE in this thread, men included, get this but you. Do you not see the correlation?

[MaxManwell]

Well it doesn't matter if the people on this thread agree with me or not there is a certain type of woman men want to treat well and a certain type that they do not respect. Mostly, it is up to the woman how she wants to conduct herself and the type of man she seeks out to attract. If a woman seeks out a sexual encounter and a men oblige how exactly are they taking advantage of her in a negative way ?

 

The girl that I wanted, I tried to make this point earlier but she loved sex and did sleep around a lot. She was acutely aware of herself and held no reservations in letting the world know. However, she knew how to conduct herself and act like a lady. She didn't get hammered and have sloppy sex with a random man from a bar she did it discretely with men she knew personally. It is about respecting yourself and being consistent. She wanted to be a bit of sex kitten god knows, probably because of hormones, but you know what else ? she didn't mind playing the submissive role either because the two go hand in hand. That is what drove us men crazy. She slept around, was available but did it in a respectful way and had her own sense of dignity.

 

If you told her to go out to a bar and pick up and random she would probably have said something like 'Yeah right ! thats disgusting' - and then hit you in the arm.

[sally4sara]

It's human nature, guys are not immune to it.

 

Remember we have territorial tendencies. That tends to put ownership and control issues into play.

 

So when you understand things in those terms... it's very easy to understand what was going on.

 

I think this would apply in most cases, but these were guys who expressed that they didn't want "ownership" to come into play. I could see it if they had never made any cautionary about getting serious.

By this theory of human nature, my only other alternative would have been to NOT take what they said to heart, NOT take notice when I was getting to know them that they had a well established lifestyle of bachelorhood, and become this mewling desperate girl they expected me to become despite all indications that it would leave me as "well played" and "typical" to them. Meh....sounds like a truly stupid game in which SOME guys feel more comfortable keeping women in a position of weakness. Would it be true to say then that it is human nature to need to look down on the other gender in order to feel more like our assigned gender? And seeing as most of the women participating in this thread claim to need an extreme situation to think of an experienced guy as worthy of disrespect, is it safe to say that it would be very MASCULINE human nature to have this need in order to feel like more of a man?

[Stockalone]

And seeing as most of the women participating in this thread claim to need an extreme situation to think of an experienced guy as worthy of disrespect, is it safe to say that it would be very MASCULINE human nature to have this need in order to feel like more of a man?

 

I don't think that is true. It's way too much of a generalization, even for my taste. You could easily turn that around to put woman in the wrong light.

[Untouchable_Fire]

I think this would apply in most cases, but these were guys who expressed that they didn't want "ownership" to come into play. I could see it if they had never made any cautionary about getting serious.

 

Think of it like this... they didn't want YOU to get ownership feelings over THEM. Yes, it's complete hypocrisy, but we are not really talking about the best examples of my gender.

 

I think that it is very natural for guys to get a certain feeling of ownership once they get physical in a regular basis with a woman. I'm not making any value judgments on that. Just saying that's how we seem to be built.

[SugarKiss]

The girl that I wanted, I tried to make this point earlier but she loved sex and did sleep around a lot. She was acutely aware of herself and held no reservations in letting the world know. However, she knew how to conduct herself and act like a lady. She didn't get hammered and have sloppy sex with a random man from a bar she did it discretely with men she knew personally. It is about respecting yourself and being consistent. She wanted to be a bit of sex kitten god knows, probably because of hormones, but you know what else ? she didn't mind playing the submissive role either because the two go hand in hand. That is what drove us men crazy. She slept around, was available but did it in a respectful way and had her own sense of dignity.

 

 

oh please you just described every single chick that sleeps with men at the end of a night at a bar, the only way you would know if that chick is the same as the chick you just desecribed is if she went to the same bar every week and did the exact same thing, and you stood there and watched it happen.

 

this woman that you describe that has "great" dignity is no different than the women you choose to disrespect and put down by saying they are trash.

 

in fact you may pick up a woman (well not you since you have to pay prostitutes to sleep with you) but if a man were to pick up a woman for a one night stand at a bar it could be her first time having a one night stand and she could be articulate and attractive and have a lot in common with the guy that has the one night stand with her but he is already determined she is not worth gettting to know because she slept with the guy.

 

men trick themselves into liking a woman or not, who knows what criteria they use but men like yourself and what you just described just trick themselves into seeing some women as ok and others not and they base it on foolish reasons.

 

and it's like someone else said earlier in the post that eventually these types of guys end up with the bigger skank of all, she is just "descreet" about it .you know..."what you don't know won't hurt you"

it's a joke really

 

for you Maxmanwell it is probably a good thing since you have a dirty secret yourself that you have to be descreet about so...you are ok with skanks so long as they are not open about it. interesting.

[MaxManwell]

Thats true men do trick ourselves into believing what we like and this girl did something properly to make me want to love her. ME - that scumbag that would rather bang a hooker than take a woman out on a date.

 

I also think you missed the part where I said she didn't go to a lot of bars.

[stillafool]

It is very hard to find a good woman but until then why not have fun with the wrong women as long as a man wears protection? Some women are only good for a lay while other women are worth more but a man will have to live like a monk if he waits until the latter shows up in order to get laid.

 

 

First of all TC I can understand your frustration with this thread as hardly anyone is sticking with the point you are trying to make.

 

Woggle the same thing can be said for women. Screw around with all the wrong men until you find a good guy to marry and raise kids with. Afterall, who wants a whore for a husband?

 

I never could understand why men feel it's okay for them to be a whore and end up with a nice girl in the end. It's ridiculous. I find the same thing distasteful about them whoring around as I do women. Some men are still naive enough to think that women's sex drives don't equal theirs and that's a lie also.

[stillafool]

 

 

men trick themselves into liking a woman or not, who knows what criteria they use but men like yourself and what you just described just trick themselves into seeing some women as ok and others not and they base it on foolish reasons.

 

and it's like someone else said earlier in the post that eventually these types of guys end up with the bigger skank of all, she is just "descreet" about it .you know..."what you don't know won't hurt you"

it's a joke really

 

Isn't this the truth!!!!!:lmao: How many times have men married a woman who they thought was the "Virgin Mary" and she has had more sexual partners than he could ever dream about and he'd never know the difference.

[sally4sara]

I don't think that is true. It's way too much of a generalization, even for my taste. You could easily turn that around to put woman in the wrong light.

 

Sorta why I asked rather than just stated it. I don't think you are as signed in to gender programming as alot of other people are though, so it doesn't surprise me that it doesn't sound likely to you. You seem like a well intentioned fella and I'm telling you, you are rare. Stay gold Ponyboy!

I think that I was pretty green about dating when I met these guys and that is what kept me from buying into their game. Naivety caused me to take their initial words to heart, but that experience left me pretty jaded. Now, I DO think there are people out there are as crappy as to need to put people down to feel like bigger men or irresistible divas and they don't like it when they are not causing turmoil in others.

[luvmy2ns]

You don't really know how well I would treat a woman. The thing is that a man like me wouldn't take advantage of a woman 'like that' nor would he want to be involved with her. I'd want to find a woman that understands me and that would take responsibility for her own actions and who tells me how she wants to be treated. I would do exactly that for her.

 

But I have no talent for dealing with irrational and irresponsible women nor do I have any sympathy for them.

 

I'm glad to hear you're not a complete jerk. And I can see the point on "irrational and irresponsible," but when I see gals like that, I think "Geez, something awful must have happened to them growing up to have become that way," and I do tend to feel sorry for them. However, that doesn't mean I'm going to invite them into my circle of friends. That could be a huge mistake. But it will make me treat them kindly at the very least, with a little understanding for what they may have gone through in their formative years, and if my friends were making snide remarks, I might give them a little food for thought.

[MaxManwell]

I'm glad to hear you're not a complete jerk. And I can see the point on "irrational and irresponsible," but when I see gals like that, I think "Geez, something awful must have happened to them growing up to have become that way," and I do tend to feel sorry for them. However, that doesn't mean I'm going to invite them into my circle of friends. That could be a huge mistake. But it will make me treat them kindly at the very least, with a little understanding for what they may have gone through in their formative years, and if my friends were making snide remarks, I might give them a little food for thought.

 

See I am the opposite. I would definitely invite such a person into my circle of friends.

[luvmy2ns]

See I am the opposite. I would definitely invite such a person into my circle of friends.

 

So your "manly" friends can "do" 'em?

 

I have kids to be concerned about, and I work in an office that involves working with people involved in criminal activity. I notice that when I do go out, the people who are ALWAYS at the bar are also those who are in my office as clients. I can't invite those kind of people in as a friend. I'll be "friendly" to them and kind, but I can't involve them in my personal life in any way.

[SugarKiss]

Thats true men do trick ourselves into believing what we like and this girl did something properly to make me want to love her. ME - that scumbag that would rather bang a hooker than take a woman out on a date.

 

I also think you missed the part where I said she didn't go to a lot of bars.

 

 

that's not the point if she goes to bars or not, why does everyone keep trying to make this topic about a bar. it's not about bars, the title says bar chicks in it yeah ok fine, but the topic is about men who advise other men to sleep with easy women but to rule them out for long term dating.

[SugarKiss]

First of all TC I can understand your frustration with this thread as hardly anyone is sticking with the point you are trying to make.

 

 

yes I saw this too, everyone keeps trying to make this about something else. then another guy comes over and claims his words were taken out context in another post and that he was not here to defend himself....and where does it say this topic is about one person in particular? talk about paranoid.

 

I like how people just want to avoid the real issue here, if you tell a guy to sleep with easy women and you also tell them not to consider those women for anything more than a lay you are a huge hypocrite and quite possibly a male chauvenist too.

[MaxManwell]

yes I saw this too, everyone keeps trying to make this about something else. then another guy comes over and claims his words were taken out context in another post and that he was not here to defend himself....and where does it say this topic is about one person in particular? talk about paranoid.

 

I like how people just want to avoid the real issue here, if you tell a guy to sleep with easy women and you also tell them not to consider those women for anything more than a lay you are a huge hypocrite and quite possibly a male chauvenist too.

 

Women have the control, power over sex and therefore responsibility over sex.

 

Women must therefore act in a respectable way or men won't take them seriously sexually. Why would a man want to invest sexually in a woman who is not responsible with it..

[luvmy2ns]

Women have the control, power over sex and therefore responsibility over sex.

 

Women must therefore act in a respectable way or men won't take them seriously sexually. Why would a man want to invest sexually in a woman who is not responsible with it..

 

Huh? That made absolutely NO sense whatsoever.

[SugarKiss]

Women have the control, power over sex and therefore responsibility over sex.

 

Women must therefore act in a respectable way or men won't take them seriously sexually. Why would a man want to invest sexually in a woman who is not responsible with it..

 

 

what are you (men) a machine operated toys? puppets? stuffed animals? a cartoon character? why in the world can't the man the one that has the sexual control?

 

just because it's up to the woman to let the man "in" it doesn't mean he has no responsibility in the matter, and just because everyone lets him in it doesn't mean he has to go in. that is what differentiates a slutty man from a man that uses his reason to be sexual and that is where the double standard lies.

 

strip joints are all over the place and any man can go into them as long as he is of age, and yet some men will go others wouldn't be caught dead in one and find them downright depressing and pointless. so don't tell me men have no control over their sexuality because women are open to it.

 

there are men that will funk anything, and then there are guys who are selective. don't tell me the men that funk anything have the easy women to blame because unless he is a machine operated dildo, he has every right and every sense to be selective to say no.

 

that is the most disgusting and chauvenistic double standard I have ever read. then again you are the same person that compared women to a rump roast or a slab of cow meat. exactly where were you brought up in a forest by wild animals?

[tanbark813]

Women have the control, power over sex and therefore responsibility over sex.

 

You don't decide who you sleep with?

 

People only have as much control over you as you allow.

[MaxManwell]

They have more control and more responsibility which is why they are judged harshly.

 

Men don't have as much control or responsibility so are held to lax standards.

[tanbark813]

They have more control and more responsibility which is why they are judged harshly.

 

Men don't have as much control or responsibility so are held to lax standards.

 

That's a very primitive viewpoint.

[Stockalone]

Sorta why I asked rather than just stated it. I don't think you are as signed in to gender programming as alot of other people are though, so it doesn't surprise me that it doesn't sound likely to you. You seem like a well intentioned fella and I'm telling you, you are rare. Stay gold Ponyboy!

 

What does gender programming mean? Is that the same as believing in gender roles? Because I believe in quite a few of those.

 

As far as being a well intentioned fella. Thanks, I'd like to think that I am. The problem is that the road to hell is paved with good intentions. I am fairly certain that the women I had relationships with don't think of me as a person with good intentions.

 

 

I think that I was pretty green about dating when I met these guys and that is what kept me from buying into their game. Naivety caused me to take their initial words to heart, but that experience left me pretty jaded. Now, I DO think there are people out there are as crappy as to need to put people down to feel like bigger men or irresistible divas and they don't like it when they are not causing turmoil in others.

 

I learned the lesson that there is evil and selfishness in the world before I started dating. So a good portion of that naivity, believing in the good in people was already gone by the time I dated.

 

As a result, a part of me understands the bitter men because I can see how easy it is to get there. I'd probably be one of them, complaining how bad life treated me if it weren't for that wonderful first relationship I had.

 

I don't think I am bitter though, but certainly more disillusioned than I used to be.