Bar chicks worth banging, not worth dating

[sally4sara]

Oh well if she ever gets played I will be right there laughing at her. It's the mentality of the typical woman today and this is why men are better off as players that use and abuse women. That's all women think we are anyway.

 

So we should just go with the destructive cycle? Generations upon generations of patriarch spawned nazi-feminism. Lets throw some hateful and purposeful degradation at it!

 

greeaaat idea.

[Woggle]

So we should just go with the destructive cycle? Generations upon generations of patriarch spawned nazi-feminism. Lets throw some hateful and purposeful degradation at it!

 

greeaaat idea.

 

I don't care. I am going out with the guys tonight because I can't be loving towards any woman right now.

[BUENG1]

So we should just go with the destructive cycle? Generations upon generations of patriarch spawned nazi-feminism. Lets throw some hateful and purposeful degradation at it!

 

greeaaat idea.

 

It's not everyone elses responsibility to coddle people who don't treat others with respect and act like reasonable human beings. At some point people have to take responsibility for their own actions, and not blame everyone else but themselves for their behavior.

[twice_shy]

I don't care. I am going out with the guys tonight because I can't be loving towards any woman right now.

 

Uh oh. Did your wife do something Woggle? I know you said she hasn't done anything yet to give you reason to not trust her, but did something change?

[J2FT1]

But then you'd become easy yourself and much less desirable to decent women.

 

Women don't really look at men as being "easy" or not. They look for feelings, emotions, and personality in men.

[sally4sara]

It's not everyone elses responsibility to coddle people who don't treat others with respect and act like reasonable human beings. At some point people have to take responsibility for their own actions, and not blame everyone else but themselves for their behavior.

 

Not coddling someone's bad behavior in no way means you must treat them with purposeful contempt. I get that the backlash, while natural, isn't any better then the treatment that spawned it, but wouldn't what Woggle is suggesting be the same thing?

Fer Chriss sake, HE READ SOMETHING and now he can't feel good or show love to his wife! I'm betting he didn't read it in her diary or hear it out of her, but he can't disassociate the woman's words he read from his wife's gender. Talk about sick.

[BUENG1]

Not coddling someone's bad behavior in no way means you must treat them with purposeful contempt. I get that the backlash, while natural, isn't any better then the treatment that spawned it, but wouldn't what Woggle is suggesting be the same thing?

Fer Chriss sake, HE READ SOMETHING and now he can't feel good or show love to his wife! I'm betting he didn't read it in her diary or hear it out of her, but he can't disassociate the woman's words he read from his wife's gender. Talk about sick.

 

People who do bad things or things worthy of contempt deserved to be treated with contempt regardless of whatever half baked excuse they can come up for doing it in the first place. And that applies to everybody, white people, black people, women, men etc etc.

[sally4sara]

Today at work we were talking about the Kennedys. I remembered about how they had their daughter (JFK's sister) lobotomized because she had begun dating and they didn't want her to loose her virginity. They told her to sing "row row row your boat" and started prodding her brain till she couldn't sing the song anymore. Ted Kennedy watched while they did this to his sister and all in the name of keeping her "pure" and not let her become "one of THOSE women". She was retarded for the rest of her life to preserve her virginity. I get disgusted to my stomach every time I think about it.

But I'll still be able to kiss my man when he gets home.

[tanbark813]

Being Sincerely Uninterested in Sports

 

And the list could go on, and on, and on, and on--all qualities which many, many women would accept in themselves, while at the same time using as a basis to disqualify men as candidates for dating/marriage.

 

I know plenty of chicks who are stoked when they date a guy who isn't into sports.

[sally4sara]

The very premise of this thread puzzles me. There's simply nothing hypocritical about a person being uninterested in dating or marrying a one night stand partner.

 

When a road traveler needs an inexpensive, near-the-freeway place to stay for the night, Motel 6 is perfect, though that person would probably never choose Motel 6 as a permanent residence. In fact, the qualities that make Motel 6 suitable for a one-night stay (proximity to the freeway, low cost) may be the very same qualities that disqualify it as a candidate for a permanent home. Do we say the traveler is therefore "disrespecting" the Motel 6? Definitely not. Do we claim that the traveler is therefore a "hypocrite"? Of course we don't, since saying something like that would be obviously ridiculous.

 

It is not hypocritical for people to look for different qualities in a one night stand partner than they do in a dating/marriage partner. And it is not a double-standard for people to sleep around while remaining uninterested in dating/marrying someone who sleeps around. These are both quite simply (and I should think obviously) cases of having a different set of requirements for different things--just like the qualities we require of a travel motel are different, and may in fact be at odds with, the qualities we require of a permanent home.

 

Also, the point keeps being made over and over again that it is a double-standard for a man to sleep around while at the same time looking to date/marry someone who does not sleep around. This, it is said, must be very bad indeed, since the man is practicing the very behavior for which the man disqualifies potential dating/marriage partners.

 

Crying During Romantic Movies

Screeching Loudly and Running Away in the Face of Physical Danger

Being Physically Small

Being Physically Frail

Having Long Hair

Being (or claiming to be) a Virgin

Being Sincerely Uninterested in Sports

 

So why is it that so many people in this thread are so bewildered and bent out of shape about the fact that men accept qualities in themselves that they don't accept in potential dating/marriage partners when it is so easy to see that women do the very same thing each and every day?

 

You know, when you think about it for a minute, it's almost like there's some sort of double-standard or something.

 

Your initial debate is solid and I agree with all until you get down to the part of not accepting behavior or qualities out of others that you accept within yourself. I feel this way because of your list of disqualifiers for men.

 

I've dated men like all of these examples except for the screeching loudly and running in the face of danger. Never had that happen so I don't know what I'd think of it unless it was a situation where I wouldn't feel compelled to do the same. Whether I discontinued dating them had nothing to do with qualities I have within myself but could not tolerate in others. They were simply qualities I find objectionable period.

And if you'd like to start a thread about the double standards men face, I would welcome it. Being female, it might be informative because like I said about this post, people rarely feel the impact of their own words or actions as sensitively as anyone experiencing them. I know there are women who would do what you have described and I would find them as hypocritical as the men being discussed in this thread.

I should add that I totally understand how one might lower their standards when picking someone for only casual sex; I've done it. I did it because I was only looking for casual sex and knew I wouldn't be dealing with them in the long term. I even disqualified guys I knew were up for serious relationships because I didn't want to hurt them. The reasons for not dealing with the casual sex guys in the long term had nothing to do with the fact that they were having casual sex. so I get what you are saying and what Fishtaco has been saying, but I still don't see how a person can not accept someone else doing something they do themselves and that not be being hypocritical.

[Woggle]

Everytime I read comments like that I look at my wife and wonder what she really thinks. If it were a few women I would be able to say okay maybe all women don't feel this way but it seems that most if not all women feel this way and it makes me not able to even trust women at all. I know how good women are at smiling in their man's face even though they resent the hell out of him and I can't but wondering if my wife really resents me.

[sally4sara]

Everytime I read comments like that I look at my wife and wonder what she really thinks. If it were a few women I would be able to say okay maybe all women don't feel this way but it seems that most if not all women feel this way and it makes me not able to even trust women at all. I know how good women are at smiling in their man's face even though they resent the hell out of him and I can't but wondering if my wife really resents me.

 

Comments like what?

And it's likely she will start resenting you after a while if you are constantly turning cold towards her over crap you read on crap websites. She won't know why you are acting that way and it will hurt. Hurt over the long term without explanation usually leads to resentment.

[Woggle]

She may not be turned on by every single last quality you possess, but that doesn't necessarily mean that, on the whole, she resents you or is untrustworthy.

 

Right?

 

I don't know. With women you never do know and they can change in an instant on how they feel.

[sally4sara]

I don't know. With women you never do know and they can change in an instant on how they feel.

 

Like you change simply by reading something?

[Pyro]

I don't know. With women you never do know and they can change in an instant on how they feel.

 

Guys can do that too. Instead of wasting all your energy worrying about it, just go with the flow and watch out for the red flags. What are you accomplishing by worrying about it so much?

[Woggle]

Like you change simply by reading something?

 

That quote just put in perspective how most women really feel and how most hate men with a passion.

[sally4sara]

That quote just put in perspective how most women really feel and how most hate men with a passion.

 

You go on to site set up for like minded people to share like situation. So you find what seems like a mass of your worst fear realized.

 

I have many female friends and being female myself, they would have no reason to hide their secret hate towards men. I'm not finding these women to be common at all. I love men. My friends love men, even the gay ones they just don't want to have sex with them. Even if a guy turns out to be a jerk, we still know good guys. We have fathers, brother, sons, and nephews we love to pieces so we are aware no matter how crappy one particular guy is that good ones do exist.

Sure, we get irritated with men sometimes and talk to our girls about what we are dealing with; it is usually very light hearted, but I rarely run into the ones you seem to think are the majority.

[twice_shy]

With all due respect, no you don't. You may know plenty of women who are stoked to be dating a guy who doesn't neglect them due to an overwhelming interest in sports, but you don't know plenty of women who are stoked to be dating a guy who is not into sports at all, period...as in the guy hasn't got an athletic bone in his entire body.

 

Thats not true. I love playing basketball, golf, baseball (could care less about football). I run, lift weights.

 

But I hate watching sports on TV. All except college basketball, and even then I don't have to watch it.

[tanbark813]

With all due respect, no you don't. You may know plenty of women who are stoked to be dating a guy who doesn't neglect them due to an overwhelming interest in sports, but you don't know plenty of women who are stoked to be dating a guy who is not into sports at all, period...as in the guy hasn't got an athletic bone in his entire body.

 

The watching sports part is what I meant.

[MrsHellnoFire]

Today at work we were talking about the Kennedys. I remembered about how they had their daughter (JFK's sister) lobotomized because she had begun dating and they didn't want her to loose her virginity. They told her to sing "row row row your boat" and started prodding her brain till she couldn't sing the song anymore. Ted Kennedy watched while they did this to his sister and all in the name of keeping her "pure" and not let her become "one of THOSE women". She was retarded for the rest of her life to preserve her virginity. I get disgusted to my stomach every time I think about it.

But I'll still be able to kiss my man when he gets home.

 

People are truly nuts. Like something out of a horror novel.

[luvmy2ns]

Why do you guys insist on blaming men for something that is clearly not our fault ? Are you saying men should date the women you tell them to ?

 

1) Woman acts like a slut

2) Man won't date her.

 

How is it the mans fault that he decides who he wants to date ?

 

Just keep man hating ladies.

 

We're just saying don't be such using P'sOS as regards the gals with emotional problems who feel they can only find attention by spreading their legs. Have a little sympathy and understanding for them instead of zeroing in on them, using them for your own selfish pleasure, and then treating them like crap once you're standing up again.

 

Why is that so damn hard to understand?

[luvmy2ns]

I've never had a woman so I don't know how to treat them.

 

And if you don't try to gain a little understanding and empathy, you never WILL have one.

[luvmy2ns]

If you look at the results from that study... it just shows women tend to be less honest than men. This may result from social pressures... but we knew this crap already.

 

In regards to the rest of your post. You missed my point.

 

Men who are successful in getting dates are the ones who project confidence and self assuredness. It's an irrefutable fact. For many guys this does not come naturally. Being detached is the best way to get there. That is why guys always give this type of advice! Personally I think there are better ways of getting that detachment and confidence than sleeping with hobags.

 

The guys who care too much fail. It's the way of the world

 

As for female sexual repression... I don't really know. Maybe that social pressure is a good thing? We've never been without it, so I can't say for sure.

 

I'm not a big fan of cheating... don't you think lots more women would cheat if you removed the social pressure? What kind of society do you want to live in? I like to think I value children and family.

 

Why did you EVEN bring cheating into this? Cheating is from a lack of honesty and integrity, which has nothing to do with how many partners you choose to sleep with when you're single.

[serial muse]

The only hypocrisy is that women believe they should be allowed to sleep around and not be called sluts.

 

Things are changing but the fact is still inherent that most labeled sluts always will be women. Arguing that men are worse than women because of biological differences is a false pretense.

 

Actually, Max, what I said was that men and women should hold themselves to the same standards by which they judge others. I never argued that men are worse than women because of biological differences; that's your own hang-up.

 

In other words - if you're going to sleep around with a bunch of people you insist on thinking of as sluts, then how on God's green Earth do you not think you're one too?? You're doing the exact same thing they are.

 

Seriously, this is not so hard to understand: if they're "sluts" because they sleep around casually, and you're also sleeping with them casually, then that makes you a...???

 

Get it now? They're both in the same boat, so BOTH or NEITHER ought to get the same label. Not just one because of a "biological difference."

 

Alternatively, we could just allow that people can sleep with whomever they want without having to be nastily labeled.

[luvmy2ns]

If he does answer, it'll be with something completely unrelated and off the mark designed to derail the conversation because he can't come up with anything plausible with which to respond.