Bar chicks worth banging, not worth dating

[luvmy2ns]

Women must punish men? Why? Don't men have brains capable of logical and reasonable thought? Is it too much to ask that those men who hold the double standard question themselves and their beliefs, and perhaps form a more enlightened view?

 

Apparently some of them still need mommies. Wah, wah, waaaahhhhh!!!!!

[Stockalone]

Women must punish men? Why? Don't men have brains capable of logical and reasonable thought? Is it too much to ask that those men who hold the double standard question themselves and their beliefs, and perhaps form a more enlightened view?

 

Actually, I don't care how women decide to deal with those men.

 

It's just that I don't think that those men will change their mind about that double standard as long as they still find women who will date them.

[Krytie TV]

At this point it's really difficult to take this thread seriously with all of the blatant "all men are pigs" bashing. Has this become ludicrous to anyone else?

[luvmy2ns]

At this point it's really difficult to take this thread seriously with all of the blatant "all men are pigs" bashing. Has this become ludicrous to anyone else?

 

If you had read MM's last disgusting post before he was taken over by the powers that be, you would be calling him a pig as well. And as for the type who are the subject of this thread? Pigs.

[amerikajin]

My, do we have a lot of piety on this thread.

 

Look, the fact is that a fair number of people of both genders are just out to get their rocks off. Doesn't it stand to reason that if a guy is looking to get his dick wet...the girl he ends up having sex with is out to get wet herself? If you don't want to date someone who's had or enjoys casual sex, then don't date that kind of person. End of story.

 

I think the rationale behind the notion of bar chick v. other type of chick is that if you pick someone up at a bar, you probably don't know them. It's a random encounter. It's less likely, though not necessarily so, that a random encounter with someone in a public place is going to have the substance necessary to enable the relationship to grow. If you meet someone in church or through some other activity, it's more likely you have some common bond that would tie the two of you together.

[luvmy2ns]

The first time you meet someone, regardless of whether it's in a bar or in church, you don't know them. I've known gals who do church every Sunday (looks good, anyway) who are hypocritical, lying b's. I've also known gals who like to go out and shoot pool, do karaoke, dance, and have a couple drinks on occasion who are good, kind, honest women.

 

It's not called "piety." It's called reality.

[Untouchable_Fire]

Women must punish men? Why? Don't men have brains capable of logical and reasonable thought? Is it too much to ask that those men who hold the double standard question themselves and their beliefs, and perhaps form a more enlightened view?

 

It's human nature to try and get away with bad behavior. So, it's a situation where you either provide positive or negative feedback. Most guys get a positive response, so they continue on. Whats wrong with being practical?

[MaxManwell]

It comes down to biological differences. As much as you want men and women to be treated like they're the same, they're not and will be treated as such....

[serial muse]

I think all the "men are pigs" bashing is way out of hand, too, and kind of not what I thought this thread was about. It was supposed to be about how a person - man or woman - might consider holding him/herself to the same standards that s/he holds others to. In other words, the point is: don't be a freaking hypocrite. That's a non-gender-specific lesson.

 

Or are women just ungrateful ? We 'pigs' give you girls jobs.

 

You still have not answered my question.

 

That said - seriously, Max. What the he!!??? Men give women jobs?

 

Oh my God, there aren't enough eyerolls in the world.

[luvmy2ns]

It comes down to biological differences. As much as you want men and women to be treated like they're the same, they're not and will be treated as such....

 

Just as some so-called men are different () than others and will be treated accordingly.

[amerikajin]

The first time you meet someone, regardless of whether it's in a bar or in church, you don't know them. I've known gals who do church every Sunday (looks good, anyway) who are hypocritical, lying b's. I've also known gals who like to go out and shoot pool, do karaoke, dance, and have a couple drinks on occasion who are good, kind, honest women.

 

It's not called "piety." It's called reality.

 

I'm not disagreeing with you at all. I'm saying that people who get to know each other through an association based on common interests or pursuits are more likely to work out than those who just randomly hook up and meet under the influence of alcohol at some bar.

 

As an aside, it seems to me that the whole bar scene is full of people who are superficial anyway. I certainly don't mean this to be true of all or even the majority of people who visit bars (I visit them myself), but it just seems that people dress up, drink and hook up a lot.

 

Of course context matters. If you're going out with a group of friends and you meet other people within that group, that's not the same as a guy and a wing man making moves on groups of girls grinding on the dance floor.

[luvmy2ns]

I'm not disagreeing with you at all. I'm saying that people who get to know each other through an association based on common interests or pursuits are more likely to work out than those who just randomly hook up and meet under the influence of alcohol at some bar.

 

As an aside, it seems to me that the whole bar scene is full of people who are superficial anyway. I certainly don't mean this to be true of all or even the majority of people who visit bars (I visit them myself), but it just seems that people dress up, drink and hook up a lot.

 

Of course context matters. If you're going out with a group of friends and you meet other people within that group, that's not the same as a guy and a wing man making moves on groups of girls grinding on the dance floor.

 

Absolutely! The thing is, some of the things I enjoy regularly go on in a bar. Karaoke, pool, dancing. However, I monitor my drinking and make sure to stay on a good level. You know, happy little buzz, but in complete control and below the legal limit to drive. I have lots of friends like this too. I don't have buddies who regularly get faced and make fools of themselves in public. Not my style. And here we have guys who judge a woman JUST because she is in a bar. Oh well. They say ignorance is bliss.

[twice_shy]

And herein lies a double standard. You go to bars. Do you think you're not suitable as a mate because of that?

 

I don't frequent them. Once in a blue moon. But like I said, I don't go there to look for women.

 

I think the idea is directed at people that go to bars to pick other people up, whether they are men or women.

[twice_shy]

You can't blame it solely on men. If there were no women making themselves hot, there would be no hot women to ogle.

 

Thats the part that always bothered me. Some women will dress provacatively, but then are offended when men actually take a gander.

 

But my guess is they only are offended if the person gawking is unattractive.

[luvmy2ns]

I don't frequent them. Once in a blue moon. But like I said, I don't go there to look for women.

 

I think the idea is directed at people that go to bars to pick other people up, whether they are men or women.

 

But your post implies that any woman you see in a bar is unsuitable for relationship material. This is SUCH a hoot 'cause you wouldn't see her in a bar unless you were there yourself.

 

I go to bars with friends. It's much more fun than doing karaoke by yourself in your livingroom, and I don't have a pool table, so...

 

However, I don't go out with the idea of "I'm gonna get me some tonight" like many guys do.

 

So who should be judging who - really?

[Shin0bi1]

Seriously,

 

this whole 'how many partners you been?' with is played out and dumb. Experience the sex and not just count how many times you done it. So people are more promiscious than others so what? Of'course you gotta put a helmet on your soldier (for the fellas) to be safe but enjoy your life. I personally rather have someone who is sexually experience than some strict catholic religious hardcore type who views oral sex as a "dirty" thing and will only do missionary position because she was brought up "religiously" that way.

 

I dunno people need to chill out. Yes believe it or not you can find quality people at bars/clubs/parks/baseball games/workplace/online service/grocery store/picnics/other countries/cigar shops/gas stations/workout gyms/etc..

You can also find people who just want to get laid. Nothing wrong with that either. It is people who are not comfortable with their sexuality are the judgemental types or too worry about what other people think of them.

 

-Shin0bi1

[twice_shy]

But your post implies that any woman you see in a bar is unsuitable for relationship material.

 

ENG 101:

 

"I don't want a woman that frequent bars or nightclubs myself"

 

 

I understand that once in a while people will go to a bar for a drink with friends....as opposed to people that go all the time with more of the idea that they want to pick someone up and take them home for an easy lay.

 

 

 

This is SUCH a hoot 'cause you wouldn't see her in a bar unless you were there yourself.

 

Its such a hoot because if I hooked up with someone outside the bar scene, I'd know pretty quickly if they are a barfly or not.

 

If I hook up with someone and they are out partying every weekend at bars, then they are not the person for me.

 

As opposed to someone who goes for a a couple drinks with co-workers, for example, then comes home a couple hours later and not stay out til 3am.

 

 

I go to bars with friends. It's much more fun than doing karaoke by yourself in your livingroom, and I don't have a pool table, so...

 

However, I don't go out with the idea of "I'm gonna get me some tonight" like many guys do.

 

 

Are you an every weekend partier at the bars? If not, then you are not of the type I speak.

 

 

So who should be judging who - really?

 

Anyone with their own best interests in mind can and should judge for themselves who is worthy and who is not.

[luvmy2ns]

Seriously,

 

this whole 'how many partners you been?' with is played out and dumb. Experience the sex and not just count how many times you done it. So people are more promiscious than others so what? Of'course you gotta put a helmet on your soldier (for the fellas) to be safe but enjoy your life. I personally rather have someone who is sexually experience than some strict catholic religious hardcore type who views oral sex as a "dirty" thing and will only do missionary position because she was brought up "religiously" that way.

 

I dunno people need to chill out. Yes believe it or not you can find quality people at bars/clubs/parks/baseball games/workplace/online service/grocery store/picnics/other countries/cigar shops/gas stations/workout gyms/etc..

You can also find people who just want to get laid. Nothing wrong with that either. It is people who are not comfortable with their sexuality are the judgemental types or too worry about what other people think of them.

 

-Shin0bi1

 

You got it RIGHT on the money!

[Untouchable_Fire]

You got it RIGHT on the money!

 

So, in your personal opinion... are there women out there who are not suitable to a long term relationship? Or are all women equally good in this department?

[luvmy2ns]

So, in your personal opinion... are there women out there who are not suitable to a long term relationship? Or are all women equally good in this department?

 

I think I explained myself quite thoroughly in my scenario RE: gal #1 v. gal #2. Of course there are women not suitable to a LTR - for some. There might be some guy out there, however, who needs a gal who has little or no self esteem as he has little to none himself. I know I wouldn't want a guy who NEEDED the validation of a conquest with a different woman every week. I want a man who is self confident. And, lucky me, I have one!

[Untouchable_Fire]

I think I explained myself quite thoroughly in my scenario RE: gal #1 v. gal #2. Of course there are women not suitable to a LTR - for some. There might be some guy out there, however, who needs a gal who has little or no self esteem as he has little to none himself. I know I wouldn't want a guy who NEEDED the validation of a conquest with a different woman every week. I want a man who is self confident. And, lucky me, I have one!

 

What post # was that scenario? I can't seem to locate it.

 

It just seems to me that we have multiple issues in this thread. I know why TC started it... because she sees a lot of guys who seem to be hypocritical about this topic. However, the more I read what is said, the more I get the impression that it's apples to oranges. I think that there is a difference in how men and women view sex, and I can't say one or the other is wrong.

 

One thing which is certain in my mind after reading this thread... is that MadMaxwell is about twelve bananas short of a dozen.

[sally4sara]

I

I think it is the women's responsibility to punish the men that have that double standard by not dating them. However, I see lots of women who aren't concerned about that double standard when it comes to the guy they are dating.

 

 

 

 

To be honest, I do not believe for a second that those men are troubled by what they do. But I must also say that I don't think that the majority of men thinks like that. In my opinion, the majority of men don't mind the ONS and they don't think less of the women they have sex with.

 

The men with the double standards are another story. My theory is the following.

 

They are proud of what they have accomplished. They got a woman to give them sex. That means they won and now they can look for the next prey to hunt down.

 

Some men are taught (or at least encouraged) to believe that "scoring" as many women as possible is one of the things a man should accomplish. In thay way of thinking, the women decide who gets to have sex with them. So if a man is able to have sex with many women, he is "the man".

 

If the woman gives it up too early and makes it too easy for the man, they are not gf/marriage material. That doesn't make the man easy, because he is the successful hunter that "scored" the woman. The man is not to blame in this, because the woman holds all the power (by deciding who she has sex with).

 

In fact, the man now has managed to take away that power from the woman by sleeping with her and has proven himself.

 

As I said, that is just a theory about the male chauvinists. Maybe I am completely wrong.

 

When I was single, I didn't bother punishing the guys with this attitude. I figure they are punishing themselves. As long as they are willing to buy into stupid cliches and play games, the chances of them being a part of a relationship that is real and healthy are EXTREMELY slim. In other words, the joke is and has always been on them.

 

I guess the only was I have accidentally punished guys like this is when I was single, I didn't have actual ONSs but I did have casual sex with guys I knew socially. And they would try to play the "player" role. You know, the whole cautionary "don't fall for me; this isn't going to be serious" ego inflate. The mocking and acting like THEY were getting something they wanted while I was not. But I wasn't into the games and never set out to pin them down. Want to know what I discovered EVERY TIME? When I didn't play along or try for something more; when I didn't care about them as more than a casual friend? THEY FELT USED and started trying to get ME to take them seriously. HA!

So I don't believe THOSE kinds of guys don't know what they are doing or that it ISN'T done in contempt. Otherwise....why all the fussing and acting salty when I wasn't pushing for something serious? They WANTED me to want more. They WANTED me to feel used and when they didn't get it, THEY felt used.

[sally4sara]

Seriously,

 

this whole 'how many partners you been?' with is played out and dumb. Experience the sex and not just count how many times you done it. So people are more promiscious than others so what? Of'course you gotta put a helmet on your soldier (for the fellas) to be safe but enjoy your life. I personally rather have someone who is sexually experience than some strict catholic religious hardcore type who views oral sex as a "dirty" thing and will only do missionary position because she was brought up "religiously" that way.

 

I dunno people need to chill out. Yes believe it or not you can find quality people at bars/clubs/parks/baseball games/workplace/online service/grocery store/picnics/other countries/cigar shops/gas stations/workout gyms/etc..

You can also find people who just want to get laid. Nothing wrong with that either. It is people who are not comfortable with their sexuality are the judgemental types or too worry about what other people think of them.

 

-Shin0bi1

 

Preach it brother!

[Stockalone]

When I was single, I didn't bother punishing the guys with this attitude. I figure they are punishing themselves. As long as they are willing to buy into stupid cliches and play games, the chances of them being a part of a relationship that is real and healthy are EXTREMELY slim. In other words, the joke is and has always been on them.

 

So those men end up in LTR's with what kind of women? Dysfunctional ones? Seems a bit convenient, but who knows.

 

 

I guess the only was I have accidentally punished guys like this is when I was single, I didn't have actual ONSs but I did have casual sex with guys I knew socially. And they would try to play the "player" role. You know, the whole cautionary "don't fall for me; this isn't going to be serious" ego inflate. The mocking and acting like THEY were getting something they wanted while I was not. But I wasn't into the games and never set out to pin them down. Want to know what I discovered EVERY TIME? When I didn't play along or try for something more; when I didn't care about them as more than a casual friend? THEY FELT USED and started trying to get ME to take them seriously. HA!

 

So I don't believe THOSE kinds of guys don't know what they are doing or that it ISN'T done in contempt. Otherwise....why all the fussing and acting salty when I wasn't pushing for something serious? They WANTED me to want more.

 

That makes your guys the male equivalent of the woman who believes that having sex will make the other person like her. A FWB gone wrong scenario.

 

 

They WANTED me to feel used and when they didn't get it, THEY felt used.

 

That seems odd. Then again, (thankfully) I am not a fly on the wall when those things go down.

 

I don't understand why they wanted you to feel used. The guys I know don't do it to make the women feel bad.

 

As far as I can piece it together from my observations and the talks I had with other guys, they just want to get their rocks off and that is all it is. Basically, the have the same intentions you were having. Casual sex, nothing less, nothing more.

 

IMO, they have sex with the women to get their rocks off and they are also motivated by the reasons I mentioned in my theory. They do not sleep with women in order to disrespect them or make them feel bad. That part usually comes with the fact that they would never date their ONS's.

[sally4sara]

So those men end up in LTR's with what kind of women? Dysfunctional ones? Seems a bit convenient, but who knows.

 

That makes your guys the male equivalent of the woman who believes that having sex will make the other person like her. A FWB gone wrong scenario.

 

That seems odd. Then again, (thankfully) I am not a fly on the wall when those things go down.

 

I don't understand why they wanted you to feel used. The guys I know don't do it to make the women feel bad.

 

 

They ARE the dysfunction in their relationship. They are not happy with themselves and instead of dealing with that, they focus on the woman they are with and the incongruities between how they think a woman should be/act and how the woman actually is or behaves. Picking her apart in they way they won't dare do to their own actions.

I don't think they were after casual sex just to try to get me to like/love them. I don't think they dwell that deeply on their own actions. They have, at the core, very low self esteem to the point where a girl liking them won't cure. They think so little of themselves IMO that they rarely even expose themselves to a relationship for fear of the real them being discovered and rejected. So they go for the approval of their projected self as a substitute.

They crave the ego fodder of a woman desperate for them. I wasn't giving them their fix.

These are the kinds of guys you find on the pick up artist sites; the ones who voice the "good girl" vs "bad girl" the loudest. They are very different from just a regular guy getting what he can when he can till that special someone comes along.