Bar chicks worth banging, not worth dating

[fishtaco]

Wow! Tomcat33 was really um... passionate about my answer to another guy's question. It was me that said keep banging away until you find a good woman.

 

I didn't bother reading this whole thread, it's very confusing, and keeps floating off to other tangents, like being chauvinistic and double standards and even making assumptions about bar chicks. Crazy thread.

 

Anyhow, here is it. I didn't clarify in my post to the other guy because I thought a lot of this was already understood. It's kind of like I tell you open the browser, but I assume you already know how to turn on the computer and use the keyboard/mouse, so I skip that part. So now I have to go back and point out every little detail.

 

1) bar chicks.

The type of bar chicks mentioned in that other post were the ones that hang out until the bar closes, tag along with some stranger dudes to some other place afterwards, hoping to get laid, then do it again tomorrow, and the day after.... They are out there. They exist. But not every woman that has ever set foot in the bar act like this. This is one incorrect assumption in this thread. Yes, you can meet good women at bars blah blah blah. But not the type that were mentioned in that thread. I don't know where this comes from.

 

2) putting women down

Some women are crap. Just like some men are crap. So when I or any other person meet a crap woman, I have to like her and love her and marry her? No, if she (or he) is a crap person, then that's a crap person, and I treat them accordingly. This does not apply to an entire gender. Again I don't know where this comes from. And I don't see why it's wrong to consider crappy people crappy and treat them like crappy people.

 

3) crap women

Crap women aren't decided by some stupid one single attribute. Women that have one night stands don't automatically fall under crap women. Women that go to bars don't automatically fall under crap women. Women that had a lot of sexual experience don't fall under crap women. Crap women is a whole package. How do women filter out crap guys? Same deal. It's never just one thing (at least I hope it's not), but a combination of crappy-ness. And you know, sometimes a very hot and sexy guy can also be a crap guy. Same with women. So you either stay away from them, or you bang them then stay away from them. Both choices are open to both genders.

 

4) double standards

Double standards are stupid. Some men buy into it, some women buy into it. I don't, and I hope a lot of other people don't. The worth of a person should not be judged based on how many partners he or she had. That's just dumb. So if you're a woman you want to sleep around until you find a good guy, do it. If you're a guy and you want to sleep around until you find a good woman, do it. If you don't want to, then don't. This is a personal choice, why make it into some giant big deal?

 

5) bang-able not date-able

Why is this concept so difficult to understand? Am I supposed to date every woman I kiss as well? Sometimes two people cannot date. They don't even have to be crap people. Not compatible. You hit that, you can't date. But that doesn't mean you can't do other stuff like have sex. Again, it's a PERSONAL CHOICE for both men and women. If you're into it, do it. If not, then don't. Plus it's better to have a casual relationship and then maturely part ways than to force a relationship between two people that's not compatible.

 

6) bang away

The OP of that thread was already banging bar trash (again, bar trash does not mean women that go to bars, it means just that -- bar trash. Please don't flip out). So I just said keep doing it until you find a date-able one, and offered alternatives to hanging out at bars where he could possibly meet them. What's wrong with that? People that like to judge others based on their sexual experience probably won't want to date him, but 1) they won't already, he is already banging bar trash before he even posted here on LS 2) why would you want to date someone that judges people based on some unconnected attribute?

 

I'm sorry Tomcat33. Seem like you took my post completely out of context, and applied your own personal fury, and made a whole big mess out of it.

[tanbark813]

It's unfortunate that we didn't get this clarification until page 11.

[fishtaco]

It's unfortunate that we didn't get this clarification until page 11.

 

I'm busy at work today LOL. Didn't have time to goof off until now.

 

I'm also wondering why Tomcat33 decided to start a new thread and provided only partial information as opposed to just posting on the original thread that she had a problem with. That way everyone could see what it was about instead of this confusing mess. Plus if she has some excellent advice that's way better than mine, then she should also post there so the OP could see the light and follow the path of righteousness.

[fishtaco]

For your references, here's the original thread.

 

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t154786/

[twice_shy]

3) crap women

Crap women aren't decided by some stupid one single attribute.

 

Gotta disagree here. If a woman is a cheater, that would be the only criteria I'd need to consider her a crap woman. Goes for men as well.

[lino]

I'm sorry Tomcat33. Seem like you took my post completely out of context, and applied your own personal fury, and made a whole big mess out of it.

 

Well said. The OP just has a huge chip on her shoulder, nothing more.

[Gawdess]

The reason I don't go for GUYS who go to the bars all the time is because I don't want to date a guy who hangs out at bars all the time. Like I said, I will go about once a month. I know that a couple can have differences, and that is healthy, but I know I would not be compatible with a guy who frequented the bars all the time. It has to do more with the drinking aspect. Then again, I feel that sex is a very special thing and I wouldn't be compatible with a guy who had promiscuous sex with women.

 

So you are asking this to men, I think that men want to get serious with a woman who sees sex as a special thing with them, not one who will and has easily shared it with many others so frivolously. It has to do with how a woman respects herself and her body (by not sleeping around).

[MaxManwell]

Women control sex.. with control comes power, with power comes responsibility, with responsibility comes consequences.

 

Men are not held to the same level of accountability where sex is concerned because we do not have the same level of control over when we can have it.

 

This is another case of a few women wanting to 'have their cake and eat it too'.

[luvmy2ns]

I don't understand why they wanted you to feel used. The guys I know don't do it to make the women feel bad.

 

Probably it was more like they wanted her to continue to want them and pine for them, and she didn't, and it bruised their tender male egos.

[luvmy2ns]

Fishtaco (nice name, BTW - lol), thanks for the clarification. I hope, however, that you aren't one of the guys who will recognize an emotionally damaged gal - the kind who hangs around and waits for some guy to f her - and take advantage of that. I mean, that's just wrong. You might say, "If it wasn't me, it would be some other guy anyway." While that may be true, wouldn't you feel a bit low on the food chain behaving this way? Like I said earlier, I have a good sex drive and, when not in a relationship and after a dry spell, have had occasion for a ONS here and there, and NOT because I needed affirmation that I was desirable. I know I turn heads. However, I would never choose a guy who was desperate for attention. It just wouldn't feel like the honorable thing to do.

[Stockalone]

Probably it was more like they wanted her to continue to want them and pine for them, and she didn't, and it bruised their tender male egos.

 

It's all sally4sara's fault. She should have known that she is so irresistible that she would eventually break those poor men's hearts. She should never have used them like this.

 

Seriously though, that sounds just insane, not your statement but that men would be like this. Not that I don't believe those men exist. But do you (or people in general, in case others would like to reply) really believe that most men who are looking for a quick lay are like this?

 

I would think that a man with such self-esteem problems would crawl under a rock the first time he gets rejected. On the other hand, it could be that their problem isn't low self-esteem but infact a seriously twisted idea on how male ego is build. Interesting.

 

That would explain how they can just go looking for the next girl with their self-esteem intact and using the next girl to "nurture" their fragile male ego.

 

 

I hope, however, that you aren't one of the guys who will recognize an emotionally damaged gal - the kind who hangs around and waits for some guy to f her - and take advantage of that. I mean, that's just wrong.

 

You told me to be careful what I wish for. Doesn't the same hold true for these women?

 

In case that it is easy to recognize those "emotionally damaged gals", then I agree that it is wrong. Willingly taking advantage of other people is obviously wrong.

 

I guess I am just naive, but is it really so easy to distinguish between the women who are looking for a ONS to have fun and those who do it because they are emotionally damaged?

[luvmy2ns]

I guess I am just naive, but is it really so easy to distinguish between the women who are looking for a ONS to have fun and those who do it because they are emotionally damaged?

 

Maybe it's because I'm a woman, but yes. I can spot 'em a mile away. There is self-confidence and a want for a good romp, and then there is desperation for attention. You can easily see the difference.

[underpants]

Maybe it's because I'm a woman, but yes. I can spot 'em a mile away. There is self-confidence and a want for a good romp, and then there is desperation for attention. You can easily see the difference.

 

Yes,

 

However, a guy might just be thinking...'hey, free sex'. I'll worry about the ramifications later. Or not.

 

I will say there were a select few of really messed up girls in some places I worked. I was afraid they would go home with the wrong guy, eventually.

[luvmy2ns]

Yes,

 

However, a guy might just be thinking...'hey, free sex'. I'll worry about the ramifications later.

 

And these are the kind of guys that make me want to . I'm not saying you should only have sex with a gal you would have a relationship with. Maybe the sex is good, but you love football and she hates sports, and never the twain shall meet. I'm just saying don't take advantage of the damaged ones. They don't need your dick inside 'em, they need a therapist, and if you take advantage of them, you are lower than amoeba.

[sally4sara]

It's all sally4sara's fault. She should have known that she is so irresistible that she would eventually break those poor men's hearts. She should never have used them like this.

 

Seriously though, that sounds just insane, not your statement but that men would be like this. Not that I don't believe those men exist. But do you (or people in general, in case others would like to reply) really believe that most men who are looking for a quick lay are like this?

 

I would think that a man with such self-esteem problems would crawl under a rock the first time he gets rejected. On the other hand, it could be that their problem isn't low self-esteem but infact a seriously twisted idea on how male ego is build. Interesting.

 

Oh, I'm not all that irresistible! I've been dumped, cheated on and passed over just like anyone else.

It was many years ago and I don't think these kinds of guys are all that common either. I just ran into a rash of them right after my husband and I split up. I had gotten married at 19 and didn't really get that chance to learn what the adult dating world was like. I knew (or was bitter enough at the time) not to jump right back into a committed relationship right out of an 8 year one. The last 4 years of my marriage had not been sexless, but I had forgotten what it was like to have an orgasm with someone else in the room! When I entered the dating world I was pretty frisky! Started hanging out among friends and met a few guys who seemed to understand my need for something casual at the time. I thought "Why not? He isn't a complete stranger." I wasn't expecting the drama since I wasn't hiding my intentions.

I could be wrong about how I interpreted these fellas, but seeing as how each had made some stupid comment initially about girls getting all hung up on them and cautioning me not to do the same I really don't know what else to derive from the aftermath.

Maybe some of the guys on here can shed some light as to why a guy would say he was fine with a woman dating others, remind her repeatedly to not get serious, and then get upset and complain when she actually DOES date others and not get serious. I could almost see it if I was sleeping with a different guy every night, but eww - that wasn't the case.

[Stockalone]

Oh, I'm not all that irresistible! I've been dumped, cheated on and passed over just like anyone else.

It was many years ago and I don't think these kinds of guys are all that common either. I just ran into a rash of them right after my husband and I split up.

 

My comment with the smilie was supposed to be a tongue-in-cheek comment. I couldn't find an "irony" smilie.

 

 

I could be wrong about how I interpreted these fellas, but seeing as how each had made some stupid comment initially about girls getting all hung up on them and cautioning me not to do the same I really don't know what else to derive from the aftermath.

 

That they are idiots...

[MaxManwell]

And these are the kind of guys that make me want to . I'm not saying you should only have sex with a gal you would have a relationship with. Maybe the sex is good, but you love football and she hates sports, and never the twain shall meet. I'm just saying don't take advantage of the damaged ones. They don't need your dick inside 'em, they need a therapist, and if you take advantage of them, you are lower than amoeba.

 

Maybe those women should try looking after themselves.

[Untouchable_Fire]

Maybe some of the guys on here can shed some light as to why a guy would say he was fine with a woman dating others, remind her repeatedly to not get serious, and then get upset and complain when she actually DOES date others and not get serious. I could almost see it if I was sleeping with a different guy every night, but eww - that wasn't the case.

 

It's human nature, guys are not immune to it.

 

Remember we have territorial tendencies. That tends to put ownership and control issues into play.

 

So when you understand things in those terms... it's very easy to understand what was going on.

[luvmy2ns]

Maybe those women should try looking after themselves.

 

They can't if they are emotionally damaged. Do we really need to draw a map here? Apparently you're the kinda guy.

[Stockalone]

Maybe those women should try looking after themselves.

 

That is just stupid. If it is obious that the guy would be taking advantage of her, that is really low.

 

It's like blaming the grandma who gets conned out of her savings by some sleazebag who is fully aware of what he is doing.

[luvmy2ns]

That is just stupid. If it is obious that the guy would be taking advantage of her, that is really low.

 

It's like blaming the grandma who gets conned out of her savings by some sleazebag who is fully aware of what he is doing.

 

And in another thread he claims I don't understand "men." What I will never understand is a "man" like him. I understand men just fine, but it takes a little integrity in my book to be classified as a man.

[Untouchable_Fire]

Maybe those women should try looking after themselves.

 

..... and maybe that attitude is why you can't get a 2nd date?

[Stockalone]

And in another thread he claims I don't understand "men." What I will never understand is a "man" like him. I understand men just fine, but it takes a little integrity in my book to be classified as a man.

 

You mean MaxManwell is telling you that you don't understand men?

 

The thing is, there is not much you can do about that. I don't agree with him but while conning the grandma is illegal, having consensual sex with a women (even if she isn't the most stable person) isn't.

 

Is it still wrong to take advantage of theses women? I sure think so. But there are a lot of things I consider to be despicable but many other people don't have the slightest problem doing those very things.

 

C'est la vie. If you are relying on others to do what you consider to be the right thing, you set yourself up for disappointment.

[luvmy2ns]

You mean MaxManwell is telling you that you don't understand men?

 

The thing is, there is not much you can do about that. I don't agree with him but while conning the grandma is illegal, having consensual sex with a women (even if she isn't the most stable person) isn't.

 

Is it still wrong to take advantage of theses women? I sure think so. But there are a lot of things I consider to be despicable but many other people don't have the slightest problem doing those very things.

 

C'est la vie. If you are relying on others to do what you consider to be the right thing, you set yourself up for disappointment.

 

It's not "illegal," but it certainly isn't the "manly thing to do" in my book, nor in the book of any decent woman. I don't need to "rely on them" to do anything as I dismiss people like him quickly and unceremoniously from my circle.

[MaxManwell]

And in another thread he claims I don't understand "men." What I will never understand is a "man" like him. I understand men just fine, but it takes a little integrity in my book to be classified as a man.

 

You don't really know how well I would treat a woman. The thing is that a man like me wouldn't take advantage of a woman 'like that' nor would he want to be involved with her. I'd want to find a woman that understands me and that would take responsibility for her own actions and who tells me how she wants to be treated. I would do exactly that for her.

 

But I have no talent for dealing with irrational and irresponsible women nor do I have any sympathy for them.