is he still messing around?

[Mandy]

hi i was on here about a month ago asking advice about my boyfriend who had cheated on me. since then the phycho girl has broke up with me as him online several times. (she takes his screen name and talks to me) I dunno what to do. She is so crazy. I see him whenever i can now but we both work soo much. I page him and he does not always call me back. sometimes he says hes gonna call and he doesn't. oh and this girl was pregnant with his baby but to my relief she lodt the baby. anywaz, i get so scared that hes messing around on me still. but i don't want to put him on a leash. we have always had a very good relationship but lately i find myself getting angry for the littlest things. She also has a web site where she tries to say they did stuff on certain days but i know its complete bull cause i was with him on some of the nights. i just don't know what to belive. i get so scared that i actually start thinking that i don't love him anymore. is this normal and how can i get past this fear that hes messin around? My heart telkls me hes not messin but something else says he is. im so confused and i am going completely insane. i don't know how much longer i can handle this. the suspicion is eating away at me. I love him very much and i know he loves me too. but i sometimes feel like a hes my friend more than he is my lover. I am just so frustrated as you can tell anywaz any advice y'all can give me would help a great deal.

[Sula]

I think that you should ask your boyfriend to change his screen name and keep it from this crazy girl. And youshould tell him about what's hppening and ask him what he thinks you should do. there's no way a healthy relationship can blossom if you're constantly suspicious of his whereabouts and what he's doing. If he doesn't want to do these things, then maybe he really isn't serious about your relationship. If her behavior continues, you need to contact the police and see hwat your options are for restraining orders and the like. You should also probably change your screen name. Good luck.

[Mandy]

HE DID CHANGE HIS NAME BUT THEN SHE HAD A MALE FRIEND OF HERS CALL AOL AND ACT LIKE HE WAS HIM. BACAUSE SHE KNOWS LIKE EVERYTHING ABOUT HIM. AND IT SUCKS SO NOW HE DOES NOT HAVE AOL. AND IM STUCK WITH THESE ANNOYING WEB PAGES SHE POSTS. I JUST DON'T GET IT. AND NOW SHE SAYS THAT TONIGHT THEY ARE GOING TO CHURCH TOGETHER FOR MASS BECAUSE ITS ASH WEDNESTDAY. AND HES NOT EVEN THAT RELIGIOUS. IM SO DISTUREBED BY ALL THIS I JUST WANT OUT BUT I DON'T WANT TO LOSE OUT ON ACTUAL;LY BEING WITH THE GUY I LOVE.

[Totally Confused]

If you have to ask this question, then you know the answer. You know you know the answer. You are above this and you have to put yourself above this, I don't even know you and I can tell you're above this. look at the trash you're dealing with. She's says she's pregnant and then she's not, she breaks up with you on his email address, she knows he's with you and her - how screwed up and immature is this girl? The sad part is, this guy knows all this and still wants to hang with her. She's not even worth your time of day. And with this guy, you don't know what the truth is and what isn't - so stop trying to figure it out. You'll drive yourself crazy. She sounds like a screwed up individual and he sounds like a selfish, insensitive guy.

 

If this girl is using his password, he doesn't return all your calls, you hardly see him (work isn't an excuse, where there's a will there's a way) - there is something going on. If you can't say to yourself that I know this man is in love with me -and have no doubt...then there's a reason for it. Your gut is telling you something. Why wouldn't this guy still be cheating on you, he's given you nothing but proof that he's capable of it. He's not 100% devoted to you, and he's not in-love with you, though he likes you a lot and likes having you around, when he feels like taking you off the shelf. Then he puts you back on the shelf when he's done and then takes this other girl off the shelf and plays with her for a while, until he's bored. And don't worry, he's not in love with her either.

 

Anyway, it doesn't really even matter what he's doing. All you know is you're confused and hurt, and it's really all about you and what you're feeling. You don't know what the deal is. This guy lies to you and you don't know when or if you can believe him....which means he's not good for you. He makes you miserable. If he made you happy, you wouldn't be posting this message. The reason you're losing feelings for him is because he's put you through the wringer so many times, YOU"RE SICK OF IT AND YOU NEED MORE!!!! You want to keep holding on, at a chance he might change, because you've felt so much for him at one time and you can't believe that now your feelings might be changing. Could it possibly be that a man that was so capable of hurting you so much at one time, cannot affect you as much anymore? Do you feel like you've wasted all those tears and sleepless nights, only to find out that now, you don't feel as much. Of course. You're not in love with him, he let you down, you're not happy. He doesn't fill your life with possitive, supportive thoughts. It's all negative. Let her have him, cause now she can deal with the lying and the betrayal. He'll just cheat on her eventually with another woman. Do you really want this man in your life? Find a good man. It may take a while, but when you do, it will be worth it. Tell yourself you need better and stop settling for less and stop wasting your time. You may not know what you want, but you definitely are starting to figure out what you DON'T want in a man, which means you're learning and growing.

 

Look at this things as a whole. look at this creepy guy for who he really is. If you had a daughter, would you want a guy treating her the way this guy treats you? NO!!! You'd be incredibly protective of her, so protect yourself and get out now. Once you dump him, then he'll return all your backed up phone calls he's never returned. your phone will probably ring off the hook with calls from him. He'll tell you he wants you back and the other girl is gone, but once you take him back, he'll also get back with the other girl. Leave him, he'll respect you more, and more importantly you'll respect yourself.

 

Good luck and allow yourself to lose all feelings for this guy. You're better off. You'll also find that he's not worth all the gray hairs and wrinkles you're going to get from being stressed out and worried all the time.

[Mandy]

yeah i see what you mean i guess im just holding onto some hope. i am going to leave him. i have already decided that. hes not worth my time. anywaz i hope y'all have better luck then i do with men.

[Stephanie]

I think that in a realtionship you should trust someone. If this gril is coming around saying this and that you shouldn't believe her. He is with you now. If it's really all that bad you should ask him. I know that if there was a guy out there that Iliked or wanted to be with that had a gril friend i would probably say stuff to her to get her jelious and break them up. Girls are visious like that and they will do anything to get with a guy that they want!

[Mandy]

Im not vicious. I don't want to be mean. Im different from alot of girls. people tell me my heart is too big and that i bring my problems on myself. but how can having a big heart bring on problems? i dunno. i just get so scared i trust him but aty the same time i don't. i betrayed his trust the other day by saying i was going out with some girlfriends and i really went to san jose to see my ex who is like my brother now. i could not stand lying to him face to face so i told him. he blew up telling me i was #####. when he lied to me for 5 months about the other girl and i didn't even cheat on him!!! i dunno im just annoyed we fight so much now and we never use to. I dunno im hoping things will get better. if anyone has advice please feel free to help me out.

 

-Mandy