Add another one to the list.........

[Mountie]

Hey guys and gals.

 

I just joined the site, but have been reading for the last 2 weeks. I would like to start off by saying that this site has helped me tremendously in such a short time. Now to my story............

 

I just turned 27 on May 27th. I met my wife STBXW when I was 14 years old, she was 13. We got married on June 15th of 2002. Everything seemed fine up till a few months ago when all the sudden she started saying things like "we are growing apart" and "I feel like we are different people". At the time I was too blind to see what was going on in her head so I just let it go. On the 10th of May she let it all out............said she wanted to go to counseling to make sure what was in her head was normal. I agreed that we should go. On the first session she ripped me a new one. She said so many hurtful things that day and most of it was a blur. From my parents and friends to things that happened in High School.

 

That weekend we planned a trip to Cleveland to visit some of the museums and landmarks so that we could get away and try to start reconnecting. Everything was great. One of the best times have had together (we both admitted it). Fast forward to may 25th or the worst day of my life. It was my birthday party. It was a surprise, so my friends kept me out all day while my wife decorated the house. I came home to find naked playboy pictures all over the walls..............I'm not a porn addict......I swear. It was weird and she was acting really distant. We drank a little then she said it was time for my surprise. She blindfolded me and put me in a car. We all drove to a strip club........last time I was at one was my bachelor party. I thought she was going to put on a show for me. She ended up leaving me there with 3 of my friends and going to another bar.

I could tell something was up. She was acting very odd and even more distant when I saw her later that night. We ended up going back to our house with me, her and her best friend. I went into another room and when I came back she was in the floor crying saying that she couldn't be with me anymore. I asked her if she wanted a divorce and she said yes. The rest is history.

To top it off she signed on the 27th or by birthday..........Bitch. Sorry for the long post....there is so much more. Four days after she signed she was living in Florida with one of her friends. She says she wants to keep my name.............Says she still wants to be friends and for me to come and see her. I have a condo 20 minutes away from where she is living. I have made a promise to myself to have NC and have not since the 29th. I'm still trying to figure out what went wrong......... I was great to her. She had everything she could ever ask for. Now I think that maybe it was too much.

[Chrome Barracuda]

Dude, she cheated.

 

I wouldnt want to be her friend. She had an affair and feels guilt about it. Since you are divorced and got no kids. I wouldnt even consider being her friend.

 

Go NC with her. if it aint got nothing to do with the lawyers or divorce.

 

Move on with your life. Why would you want to be reminded of it?

 

What do you want? If you dont want her back then move away or just ignore her. she isnt your wife any more but her trying to keep you as a fallback plan then you need to cut the strings and move on.

 

I wouldnt want to remain friends with a woman like this, why would you.

[vivrantflo]

I met my wife STBXW when I was 14 years old, she was 13.

 

As soon as I read that, I noticed that was a HUGE red flag...

 

This is brutal..

 

What a bitch..

 

Im sorry to hear about this man. She's known you, and been with you for so long.. curiousity of what other d!ck felt like, took over, and shattered your marriage, and shattered you heart.

 

I don't understand some people for the life of me. I was in a relationship for 3.5 years, she dumps me, and requests friendship?? I see so many people on here that get dumped, and their ex is asking to be friends??

 

I CANT even imagine how you feel.. having a wife for six years, and then on your birthday, posts naked models on the wall, drives you to the rippers, and says she can't be with you anymore.. and offers friendship!

 

Friendship???

 

LOL

 

I would tell you EXACTLY what to say to her, but I would be banned for life from this site..

 

So... I advise you to firmly decline her friendship, ask her to stay out of your life.. and take this time to pick up the pieces, let it burn, and move on with your life.

 

I know Im giving you proper advise, but just by reading it myself.. I understand that it's a lot more easier said than done.

 

Im sorry man.

[Mountie]

Thanks guys for the help.......

 

Its really tough going right now. She swears it was not another man, but after reading many of the same stories they all tend to lead me to the same conclusion that there is. The part that is so hard right now is that I do not have a single memory without her in it. I live in WV right now, so her living in FL is helping. I stay on this site a lot reading how others are coping with these problems. I have been staying really busy working out and running, which is no different then what I was doing before this happened. My friends and family have been amazing through all this.

Subject change: My father cheated on my mom numerous times in the past, especially when I was young. I swore to myself that I would never do what he did............and I didn't. My stbxw also knew how I felt about adultery and the pain that it can cause. I really don't want to know if she did or not.......as far as I am concerned its all the same anyway. Its hard to put that half of my life behind me, but the brutality of the situation makes it a little easier to deal with. Say a prayer for me...........

[TrustInYourself]

Stay busy. Stay social. Enjoy life.

 

I have known my wife since I was 16 and she was 14 as well. It's rough, just don't dwell on the past. Focus on the present and the future. Good luck.

[Chrome Barracuda]

The question remains right now, with such a long distance between you two guys what is the marital status? Are you guys legally seperated? or have you hired a divorce attourney and filed for divorce?

 

She doesnt want any of the marital properties or mechandise within the house does she. It's easy to say she's not coming back, so if I was you I'd prepare for my new life without her.

 

I think she did cheat but she was just too much a freaking coward to face you and she ran away because it was the path of least resistance.

 

What are you doing now? You should be developing new hobbies, making new friends and working out. Focus solely on you.

 

Who knows she may come back, sometimes they all do. Has she tried to contact you since then, have you went NC?

[tinktronik]

You know, I don't know that in this sitch that it is absolutely "she found another guy or cheated". Women get the same wanderlust as men in their early and mid twenties , and if she has been tied to the OP since she was beginning her puberty, it simply may be that she has wanderlust and in able to grow up she has to move on from the things of her childhood. "sorry OP , but that includes you." It just seems like you were so young when you got involved, and I think that this alone may differ the situation from the norm.

[Mountie]

We have our court date on July 2nd to finalize everything. She took some of our furniture with her to Florida. We have had NC since May 29th. I'm staying real busy and working out more than I ever have. I have tons of family and friends near by which is making things much easier to deal with. I understand that we got married when we were young and we both didn't get to experience many things that most people do. I guess its just hard for me to understand.......I never had the feelings that she does. She doesn't want anything except for what she has already taken.......Lets hope she doesn't change her mind...........

[Chrome Barracuda]

Get this done. she might flip-flop at the last second and if you dont have kids go NC with her. She wants out, then she can stay out.

 

She's a coward.

 

She knew what she was getting into when she married. I dont buy into that growing up and wanting to experience life anymore crap. It sounds like a cop out. The ideal of a marriage is growing old together! emphasis on together. She could have molded herself within the marriage she didnt need to leave and do that. Bottom line is she wants to run the streets and dont want to be married and do it. Sucks as it is.

 

Let her go. she isnt worth it anymore.

 

Women that make huge promises and cant keep them are loosers in my book. She didnt leave because you was abusive, neglected her, didnt meet her emotional needs, cheated on her.

 

She left because she wanted to "Find" herself. How Clich'e!

 

Trust me you'll save yourself a whole lot of heartbreak down the line if you detach from her. take it from me.

[Woggle]

Since you don't have any kids get this over as fast as you can and forget she even existed. Consider yourself lucky that she pulled this when she did because you can pretty much make a clean break right now.