The Secret to Happiness?

[Prodigal Princess]

Professor Bob Cummins of the School of Psychology at Deakin University, who recently ran an international conference called "Happiness and Its Causes", has said:

"The secret to being happy is to make sure you have a good relationship. You need an intimate relationship with somebody else, a partner."

I think this is total bullsh*t. I have always been happier when single than when in a relationship.

 

What do you think?

[tinktronik]

Professor Bob Cummins of the School of Psychology at Deakin University, who recently ran an international conference called "Happiness and Its Causes", has said:

"The secret to being happy is to make sure you have a good relationship. You need an intimate relationship with somebody else, a partner."

I think this is total bullsh*t. I have always been happier when single than when in a relationship.

 

What do you think?

I think intimate relationships are the key to happiness wether with a close friend a relative or a spouse. Happiness comes from working inter-personal relationships. There are other things that go along with it , self satisfaction, enjoyment of things, satisfaction of accomplishment, ect. ; but if you don't have close intimate relationships to share all of these things with ...Well, they would become empty.The paragraph that you have provided does no say specifically that the partner must be a sexual one.

So, in effect, my answer is yes, I think he is correct.

[marlena]

Well, if happiness is peace of mind, then, yes, I am happier when alone. Still, even when alone, I feel that an important ingredient is missing from my life. Like you, I was unhappy in most of my relationships but I now think that the reason for that was the bad choices I made. I still hold out hope for a special someone who will enhance my life, someone who is right for me, good for me, someone who will bing out the best in me and not the worst. Slim chance I know but hope does spring eternal. Even if that doesn't happen, I will be fine with me, myself and I. I like my own company.

[Ronni_W]

Well, I'd say "many happy relationships", really. With romantic partner, parents, siblings, friends, family, colleagues, whomever. Different relationships that support and encourage different facets of the Self.

 

For me, it is important to be able to share my highs and lows, ideas and opinions, brilliance and stupidity...and to get feedback on all of it.

 

But I don't need it to be a romantic relationship - I agree that, if he meant it strictly in terms of that, then something's missing in his research.

[Prodigal Princess]

I agree that it's important to have interpersonal relationships - friends, family etc. But these people are not "partners". By "partner", he is narrowing down the field to twosomes. And most twosomes are couples in a romantic relationship.

[Nemo]

What do you think?

That you are in denial.

[Prodigal Princess]

That you are in denial.

 

F*ck I love you, Nemo.

[Nemo]

Looking for the level of happiness as reported by people, and comparing it to various elements in their life reveals the following findings:

 

(a) About 50% of one's happiness depends on one's genes. This is shown by studying identical twins, and learning that their happiness is 50% correlated even when growing up in different houses.

 

(b) 10-15% is a result of various measurable variables, such as socioeconomic status, marital status, health, income, and others.

 

© The rest of the variance does not have a discernible cause. Called "unexplained variance", it may actually be attributed to statistical "noise".

Haha. Noise, indeed. I am so happy that my happiness has error bars. Hang on, that sounds kind of recursive.

 

Anyway, I can't wait for this new age of "gene therapy." I figure I will be at least 85% happy, if I can afford it. I probably shouldn't get my hopes up, but I will optimistically start saving by depriving myself of dark chocolate coated cranberries and crystallised ginger. I just hope that they're not my sole source of happiness... wouldn't that be ironic.

 

Oh, and don't worry, I feel the same way about you, Prodigal Princess. Except that I might rearrange some of the words. It might sound like broken English, but I think it gets the point across. Depending on my mood, that is.