BoyTeaseR Posted July 23, 2003 Share Posted July 23, 2003 I want a guy I can talk to and always be there for me... Not someone who is my bf because if I have problems with my bf I need someone. I don't really get alone great with girls but I have some as friends. Is it bad to have a best friends as a guy? Well I have a best friend that does like me but we don't do anything and my bf is making me stop hanging out with him because he doesn't trust him. I did but I miss him a lot because I feel like I can't talk to anyone and I haven't been through as much with my bf as with this best friend. help me plz Link to post Share on other sites
Jamie31 Posted July 23, 2003 Share Posted July 23, 2003 Just find you a gay guy friend. They make the best friends and your boyfriend won't be threatend!! Link to post Share on other sites
jalexy Posted July 23, 2003 Share Posted July 23, 2003 well i cant really help you on this issue, i think you should just meet ppl but let them know you have a man!! Link to post Share on other sites
Ryan Posted July 23, 2003 Share Posted July 23, 2003 Is it bad to have a best friends as a guy? Not at all....but - Well I have a best friend that does like me but we don't do anything 99% of heterosexual male/female friendships start from attraction by at least one party. Depending on the people involved, this can be dealt with and friendship can foster. my bf is making me stop hanging out with him because he doesn't trust him. Correction....your boyfriend doesn't trust YOU. Since when does he have the power to dictate who else you spend your time with? Jealousy is not a desirable trait in a man. I did but I miss him a lot because I feel like I can't talk to anyone and I haven't been through as much with my bf as with this best friend. When given the choice between a friend and a boyfriend, the friend ALWAYS wins. This is a no-brainer. You need to take control of your life rather than offering it up to your boyfriend. Then make him your ex. Link to post Share on other sites
baby phat Posted July 24, 2003 Share Posted July 24, 2003 i know what u r going through. my bf is a jealous freak as well. my best guy friend used to like me and my bf knows about this so now he doesn't trust me hanging out with my guy friend. a lot of the times if i secretly hang out with my best friend..i will feel so guilty bcuz i knew my bf would get mad...but on the other hand i dont want to lose my best friend either. now i feel that my best friend is purposedly distancing himself from me because he knows my boyfriend will get mad. it's a very difficult situation...and i got mad at my bf for not trusting me....but the problem has never been resolved. he won't even really let me hang out with my best friend with a group of other people. i really cant help u out here bcuz i am just as stuck btw friendship and relationship as u r...and one more thing is that my bf thinks that my best friend has a gf...(tho they broke up recently already)....but my bf still wouldn't trust me hangin out with him. so i am hoping that someone replies and helps us out here!! Link to post Share on other sites
baby phat Posted July 24, 2003 Share Posted July 24, 2003 by the way..i think having guys as best friends are great..if they just remain as ur best friends..nothing more. guys are easier to talk to, less critical, more open and honest about their opinions...that's just what i think..no offence intended towards girls. Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted July 24, 2003 Share Posted July 24, 2003 I back you 100 percent in your quest to find friends, both male and female. But I would also hope that you would look for a boyfriend with whom you have no problems and a boyfriend who could also be your best friend. You will find no more satisfying relationship in the universe than a romantic relationship with a person who is also truly your very best friend. That is my greatest wish for you. Link to post Share on other sites
Paul Posted July 25, 2003 Board of Directors Share Posted July 25, 2003 Originally posted by Nurse_Jamie Just find you a gay guy friend. They make the best friends and your boyfriend won't be threatend!! Yes, or a eunich. A blind one at that. I'm hoping Nurse Jaime was trying to be humorous. The original poster would be better served by finding a new boyfriend who was secure in himself and in his relationships. The sexuality of your friends is not an issue. Link to post Share on other sites
jasdoug Posted July 25, 2003 Share Posted July 25, 2003 Hi...as I read your post the one thing which kept coming into my mind was the following statement by you: "and my bf is making me stop hanging out with him because he doesn't trust him". me think that you probelms are much bigger than what you think. Who made your b/f in charge of who you keep as friends? Do you want him to run your life? Is he into control? Do you want him to control you? And finally:::::why is he so insecure? Lack of maturity on his part? As long as you can say that statement and believe it, you have a relationship that is only doomed for trouble. Once you have that answerred, then you can go ahead and have the rest of the question answerred. Not before! Best wishes ~ Doug (older but much wiser) Link to post Share on other sites
longlegzs80 Posted July 26, 2003 Share Posted July 26, 2003 When I was at college and I meet this guy and was interested in him and him into me, we were talking about guys and girls and he mentioned that the reason you have guy friends is because they are attracted to you in someway and want more. He mentioned that guys don't have fun with girls but they have fun with their guy friends when they go out. It is hard to find a guy who can just handle the friendship thing. But you got to think of it this way. Not sure if this is right or not, but when a guy talks to you or wants to get to know you, there is a reason for it and that is he is interested in you and wants more then just friendship. But the guys that stick around and don't mind the friendship, they probubly expect it to grow into something eventually. Hope this all makes sense, but a guy who was a friend mentioned all this too me. And with thinking about it, it is very much so true. How often does a guy have fun with a girl (not talking sex wise), but just in general? Guys have more fun with their guy friends just like Girls have more fun with their girl friends. Link to post Share on other sites
Curt Posted July 26, 2003 Moderators Share Posted July 26, 2003 Yeah, males as friends work in a way sorta like the slot machine joke perhaps... We guys keep putting that emotional "money" in, and pulling the handle...waiting for that one huge payoff. What fools we are!!! When a guy has been placed neatly in a woman's friend room, he never comes out of it...(unless he uses a stick of plastic explosive, shattering all the fragments of friendship along with the room ) Curt Link to post Share on other sites
skotup Posted July 27, 2003 Share Posted July 27, 2003 its ok to be his friend, its not ok to have an emotional affair with him weather u think its ok or not, every1 in an emotional affair thinks its ok. The emotional affair provokes the same kind of feelings as a flesh-on-flesh affair so no its not alright. If you bitch to ur male friend about ur boyfriend (which is how they start instead of talking to ur bf about it), share every little detail and secret which u should be talking to ur boyfriend about, hot topic of conversation is sex, act differently/touch differently when alone as compared when some1 else is around, do something (nething, not neccisarily sexual) behind ur boyfriends back that you wouldnt do if he was watching, feel like you cant talk to him propperly when some1 else is around... then yer, thats an emotional affair weather its a gay guy or not. I hate the girls who have a need for a male friend and especially the ones who get excited about a guy being gay. They are the girls with no self confidence, low self esteem, low self image and usually lack support from home. Link to post Share on other sites
lifesucks Posted July 29, 2003 Share Posted July 29, 2003 Are you nuts a guy friend sure if he himself has a girlfriend other than that no boyfriend worth his weight in gold would allow his girlfriend to hang out with another guy what so you can tell your "friend" all the bad things in your relationship get real that guy friend is just one step away from getting into your pants sure it will eventually happen maybe when you breakup with your boyfriend he'll offer that shoulder to cry on hell you may even have sex just to be comforted at your time of need but the sad thing is you will probably go back to your abusive boyfriend while you used your friend in the process. sounds like someone needs to get her priorities straight ask married couples how they would feel if their significant other had "guy friends" or husbands having "girl friends" that im sure would make for some interesting conversation you want a guy friend Buy a Male dog there less threatening to boyfriends unless they bite Link to post Share on other sites
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