Infidelity Forums making me Jaded toward Women

[shakenandstirred]

I really use to think that mostly men cheat and that was bad enough. Since I have been coming here and to other forums I have since realized that women are just as bad as men. They are even craftier at the deception. Don't get me wrong, men can be selfish egotistical pigs and even diabolical with the cheating. Women can be just as devious and even worse. I use to look at women and think they are God's most beautiful creation. Now I wonder which woman is not cheating on her man.

Men have always look at women to be their rational part. The one to keep them in line. I'm left shrugging my shoulders and saying the only one you can trust is God to keep you in line at this point. I know that there are women out there who haven't and won't cheat. But there are many that are, just like the men.

I've been guilty of cheating myself and regret it so badly. I will never do it again. So I'm not pointing fingers, just coming to a very sorrowful awakening:(

[Ronni_W]

...the only one you can trust is God to keep you in line

Shaken,

You could look at your awakening as being a blessing -- once men stop worshiping women, and placing idealistic and impossibly high, unrealistic standards on them, then men and women can finally and actually start to have real, honest, mutually rewarding relationships!

 

To me, it is a good thing when human beings realize that they have much more in common with each other, regardless of gender, sexual preference, nationality and all the other ways in which we try to differentiate ourselves.

 

So, really...I would say 'congrats' on your newly acquired wisdom in this regard.

 

As an aside, I trust myself, to "keep me in line" with my own standards, values and principles. For me, individuals have MORE power to manage their actions than any external or Universal force. (Sometimes they don't use their power all that effectively, but that's a different matter .)

 

God bless,

Ronni

[quankanne]

and I say you're skewing your view by focusing on one small, negative element and calling it the whole she-bang! Of course you're going to think women are evil and manipulative when you seek out evidence of them being like that, because you're not allowing yourself to focus on the flipside, the OTHER (larger) part of the population who have no problem being faithful to their mates.

 

maybe for the sake of your sanity, you need to quit focusing so hard on the negative and balance it out by looking for the good. Otherwise you're going to end up very, very frustrated about the opposite sex, and it'll be of your own doing, not theirs.

 

not everyone is a lying cheating self-involved scuzz-bucket looking out for number one ... there are truly good people out there worth getting to know, but who get lumped in with scuzz because others don't take the time to distinguish between the two.

 

hell, if what you say is true about lying cheating members of the opposite sex and I believed you, I never would have gotten past the first anal pore I called a boyfriend

[shakenandstirred]

 

As an aside, I trust myself, to "keep me in line" with my own standards, values and principles. For me, individuals have MORE power to manage their actions than any external or Universal force. (Sometimes they don't use their power all that effectively, but that's a different matter .)

 

God bless,

Ronni

 

I didn't realize that I was worshipping women, maybe I was. I knew I was holding them to standard that turned out to be unrealistic. As you say..I can only trust me to keep me in line. That's what I've been doing for a long time. I guess when it all comes down to it we do have the power to manage our actions...we just don't. Humans are the only creatures created with the ability of choice. I really believe we misuse it. I always knew that men did, because i'm one (not saying all men are like me) I just had this ideal that women were different and trustworthy..all of them. I guess not so. I found myself getting angry with women when they would post that they cheated, didn't want to tell the man and continued cheating. I was blown away. It was even resounded in my postings. I guess I shouldn't hold anyone on a pedestal and just keep realizing that we are all human

[shakenandstirred]

and I say you're skewing your view by focusing on one small, negative element and calling it the whole she-bang! Of course you're going to think women are evil and manipulative when you seek out evidence of them being like that, because you're not allowing yourself to focus on the flipside, the OTHER (larger) part of the population who have no problem being faithful to their mates.

 

maybe for the sake of your sanity, you need to quit focusing so hard on the negative and balance it out by looking for the good. Otherwise you're going to end up very, very frustrated about the opposite sex, and it'll be of your own doing, not theirs.

 

not everyone is a lying cheating self-involved scuzz-bucket looking out for number one ... there are truly good people out there worth getting to know, but who get lumped in with scuzz because others don't take the time to distinguish between the two.

 

hell, if what you say is true about lying cheating members of the opposite sex and I believed you, I never would have gotten past the first anal pore I called a boyfriend

 

I'm not totally focusing on the negative..just realizing that it's there. I do believe that there are good women out there..I'm just mind boggled by the amount of not so good ones

[quankanne]

I don't deny that they exist, but they're way out-numbered by the good women

[shakenandstirred]

I don't deny that they exist, but they're way out-numbered by the good women

 

Maybe so..I'm just having my doubts right now.

[45Reverse]

Maybe so..I'm just having my doubts right now.

 

 

You and me both dude. Some of the stuff I've witnessed in just the last year has made me a bit wary of many women.

 

From what I've seen, they are sooo much better at cheating and hiding it than men are.

 

Does that make them emotionally worse than men? NO

 

Does it make them more emotionally dangerous than men...Hell YES.

[Ronni_W]

I do believe that there are good women out there..I'm just mind boggled by the amount of not so good ones

Shaken,

the thing is that if you go to an ostrich farm, you're going to find...ostriches!

 

If you go to an AA meeting, you will find that 100% of the members have...issues with alcohol!

If you go to an NRA meeting...just my guess that guns and ammo are primary topics!

 

One really can't then conclude the most birds are ostriches and most humans are gun-toting, recovering alcoholics.

 

So. Just head on over to the forums whose vision and philosophy more closely fit with your own -- that way you can be boggled by the amount of "good" people, by whatever standard you personally hold to be "good".

[shakenandstirred]

Shaken,

the thing is that if you go to an ostrich farm, you're going to find...ostriches!

 

If you go to an AA meeting, you will find that 100% of the members have...issues with alcohol!

If you go to an NRA meeting...just my guess that guns and ammo are primary topics!

 

One really can't then conclude the most birds are ostriches and most humans are gun-toting, recovering alcoholics.

 

So. Just head on over to the forums whose vision and philosophy more closely fit with your own -- that way you can be boggled by the amount of "good" people, by whatever standard you personally hold to be "good".

 

I understand what you are saying Ronni...I really do. I'm not naive to believe that there is no good here on these forums. I understand that you are telling me to look at that. I did believe as I told you, that I believed that women should be put on a pedestal, protected, how they are God's most beautiful creation. Then to see the level of deceit that some can stoop to. Just like men, but be better at hiding it just blew me away. I don't hate women, by all means I love them, but I will always have my straydar on

[shakenandstirred]

You and me both dude. Some of the stuff I've witnessed in just the last year has made me a bit wary of many women.

 

From what I've seen, they are sooo much better at cheating and hiding it than men are.

 

Does that make them emotionally worse than men? NO

 

Does it make them more emotionally dangerous than men...Hell YES.

 

I definately agree with you 45

[Untouchable_Fire]

I'm not totally focusing on the negative..just realizing that it's there. I do believe that there are good women out there..I'm just mind boggled by the amount of not so good ones

 

Learn to tell the difference!

[Ronni_W]

, but I will always have my straydar on

Well, that's your prerogative, of course.

But I will wish for you that you just don't keep attracting the very circumstance on which you'll be placing focus and attention ~ in my own experience, 9 out of 10 times, that is what happens.

 

Same as if one is looking for evidence that women are "better" or "worse" than men, in one or another way ~ usually one finds the evidence to support the original theory.

 

Or, your feelings/perceptions/beliefs are part of your own process of coming to terms with your guilt and regrets over your own infidelity? Maybe, right now, it's just makes it less burdensome to believe that women do it "better" than men? -- which is perfectly fine, of course.

However you can get to a better feeling, is the path you ought to take.

 

Wishing you well,

Ronni

[shakenandstirred]

Learn to tell the difference!

I am....still learning

[shakenandstirred]

Well, that's your prerogative, of course.

But I will wish for you that you just don't keep attracting the very circumstance on which you'll be placing focus and attention ~ in my own experience, 9 out of 10 times, that is what happens.

 

Same as if one is looking for evidence that women are "better" or "worse" than men, in one or another way ~ usually one finds the evidence to support the original theory.

 

Or, your feelings/perceptions/beliefs are part of your own process of coming to terms with your guilt and regrets over your own infidelity? Maybe, right now, it's just makes it less burdensome to believe that women do it "better" than men? -- which is perfectly fine, of course.

However you can get to a better feeling, is the path you ought to take.

 

Wishing you well,

Ronni

 

My infidelity ocurred over 6 years ago. I blame noone but me and I'm not trying to absolve any guilt by saying women do it better. That's not my intention here. I just realize that women are just as capable of heinous acts of cheating as men. And most hide it very well for a long period of time before confessing or getting caught. I am saddened by it because of the way I USE to think of women in general

[porter218]

Honestly this website does not by any means represent what is going on in the world at a true percentage. These women on this site seem to be devious cheaters much more than then in the real world. You have to understand that this topic of cheating is one of the bigger reasons why people end up on this site, so people who aren't touched by it somehow tend not to end up in relationship forums. When it comes to my friends in real life, only 2 out of my 15 closest female friends cheat..the rest wouldn't consider it. Don't let this site shake your opinion of women. My H had several As and I still would never consider doing that to anyone, even though I have been wronged. I believe the vast majority of women are more like me.

[Chrome Barracuda]

LOL yeah I'm getting more jaderd to them as well because sites like this is a small microcosm of the world in which we live so there it must exist in greater terms.

 

But you know what there was sterotypes for black dudes such as myself out there that we're all criminals and whatnot. I'm not. but they exist you know what I'm saying.

 

I think alot of women cheat, but I know that alot of women do not.

 

It's all about the laws of averages.

 

You go with the best posible canidate dont go with the one you feel and know has too many issues you seen walking down the block. Put yourself in a good poisition to meet good women.

[shakenandstirred]

Honestly this website does not by any means represent what is going on in the world at a true percentage. These women on this site seem to be devious cheaters much more than then in the real world. You have to understand that this topic of cheating is one of the bigger reasons why people end up on this site, so people who aren't touched by it somehow tend not to end up in relationship forums. When it comes to my friends in real life, only 2 out of my 15 closest female friends cheat..the rest wouldn't consider it. Don't let this site shake your opinion of women. My H had several As and I still would never consider doing that to anyone, even though I have been wronged. I believe the vast majority of women are more like me.

 

I want to believe you..I honestly do. But statistics have shown that women have become almost 50/50 with affairs. Most of the time if men are cheating, they are cheating with another woman. I really don't want to feel jaded, but I've been to different websites on infidelity. On two of them the women were adamant about their affairs, disrespected and put down their husbands or boyfriends and felt entitled to be doing it. All the while the poor husband or boyfriend was oblivious,but probably had an idea, to what was going on. He was trying to woo them, even after the affairs were revealed the women still pined for their OM while detesting their husband or boyfriend. I know men do the same.

 

Porter, I am glad to hear that you have good and honest female friends who do not cheat. That is a positive that will probably help me get over this phase.

I am married and will have been married 22 years next month. These sites have even made me question if my wife has maybe been untrue. I know that's paranoia and thats where I let this stop. I believe if my marriage was ever to end(only by death hopefully) I probably will have walls up. I won't have blind trust anymore. But I also won't be the guy checking up and being a jealous idiot.

 

Barracuda...I feel you bro. I have also been subjected to stereotyping because of race. I am by no means trying to stereotype women. I still think that they are God's most beautiful creation..I always have, it's just tainted by what I have been reading on this site for the past 2 years. These are the people who come here, imagine the number that don't.

[Woggle]

This board and others are making me more and more of a misogynist everyday and I just read a post that makes me not even want to go home to my wife right now. Women in general with a few exceptions are just snakes who are not to be trusted.

[sally4sara]

This board and others are making me more and more of a misogynist everyday and I just read a post that makes me not even want to go home to my wife right now. Women in general with a few exceptions are just snakes who are not to be trusted.

 

 

See, here you are doing what I pointed out in the other thread. Natural Backlash spawned but past interactions that resulted in emotional pain.

[twice_shy]

I really use to think that mostly men cheat and that was bad enough. Since I have been coming here and to other forums I have since realized that women are just as bad as men. They are even craftier at the deception.

 

Well not in all cases, but I notice a trend that when a man cheats, its because he's a dog.

 

When a woman cheats, its because her "needs" weren't being met and that it should somehow be understood and justified.

[Woggle]

Well not in all cases, but I notice a trend that when a man cheats, its because he's a dog.

 

When a woman cheats, its because her "needs" weren't being met and that it should somehow be understood and justified.

 

Yup. Nothing is ever their friggin fault and if it is they are just giving men their just desserts. I am proud to say I am a misogynist at this point.

[shakenandstirred]

Well not in all cases, but I notice a trend that when a man cheats, its because he's a dog.

 

When a woman cheats, its because her "needs" weren't being met and that it should somehow be understood and justified.

 

Cheating is cheating. If i'm a low down dirty dog for cheating, then a woman is the same thing. If I stepped in shiggidy and a woman stepped in shiggidy, wouldn't we both smell like shiggidy? You are right though Twice_shy. Glad to see you posted

[shakenandstirred]

Yup. Nothing is ever their friggin fault and if it is they are just giving men their just desserts. I am proud to say I am a misogynist at this point.

Wow Woggle. I didn't mean to make you hate women. I don't hate them, just jaded. I do believe there are good ones out there....somewhere

[Chrome Barracuda]

Few and far in between.