s2pidmee Posted July 23, 2003 Share Posted July 23, 2003 Hello, i've know my best friend for 5 years from work. He met his girlfriend two months after I met him. I nver had any interest in dating him or anyting because of that. Then he got a new job and I haven't talked to him for 2 years (only once in awhile). About a year ago he ran into some troubles and we started hanging out again. His girlfriend thinks i'm like her best friend (the sister she never had). One day we were drunk and he told me that he liked me way back when we were still working together. I'm thinking how can that be possible you had a girlfriend?" So then i proceeded to ask him, "Do you still like your girlfriend?" He said yes. So we left it at that. I started to like him. I know i shouldn't, but sometimes you just can't control your feelings. About half a year ago we kissed under the influence. I got pissed and left. (pissed b/c he had a girlfriend and i shouldn't have done that) We talked about it a couple of days later and decided to pretend like nothing happened. Once again, we were under the influence and we decided to "talk" again. He told me he can't leave her because he's responsible for her and she has nowhere to go. Which is true i know because she left home when they started going out because of family disagreement with the relationship. She doesn't have any friends either because it's hard for her to trust someone. Basically i am her only friend. So him and I decided to go at it for something can happen. we've been secretly dating for about 5 months. He's still with her. I feel really bad for lying to her and at the same time pissed that he's still with her. I feel torn apart inside. Nobody knows about us so i have nobody to talk to. What should I do? To be continued..... Link to post Share on other sites
Jamie31 Posted July 23, 2003 Share Posted July 23, 2003 WEll, it's not right for you to continue this relationship in secrecy. It will only lead to people getting hurt later. If you two really want to be together, then he should let his GF know. He could just tell her subtly and there is no reason that he should have to kick her out on the streets per say unless she wants to leave. Maybe he could break it off with her and then you two can slowly let your relationship be known to everyone. But don't do it in secrecy....that's a dirty bird.... Link to post Share on other sites
greeneyes Posted August 12, 2003 Share Posted August 12, 2003 S2pidmee, I know where your are coming from. I was involved in a similar situation and I was the one that ended up getting my heart broken. I know it is hard to do but, I would end your relationship with this person. Just remember to do what is best for YOU. Good luck with everything! greeneyes Link to post Share on other sites
Thor Posted August 14, 2003 Share Posted August 14, 2003 The thing that leaps out at me here is that you are dating someone you like, but you're dong so in secrecy. That's probably because you've gotten to know this guy's GF and so on, but it's still a "secret" to all but the both of you. If you can go on your daily routines having this kind of secret then you're already fine with it. Just keep a few things in mind. You're not the only one here with the secret. The guy you're seeing also shares in that secret. Who's to say that there aren't other secrets that he's keeping from you? Maybe not now as his free time can't be that much, but what about later down the road. Let's say he does break up with his current GF, and you are then publicly made as his new GF. He'll have more time on his hands to find other secrets to keep from you. It's a possibility at least, and I'm definitely not saying that he'll absolutely do to you what the both of you are doing to his current GF. The odds, however, are greater that one of you may start keeping secrets from each other. Is this really how you want to start a relationship? Link to post Share on other sites
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