Why are we all so f*cked?

[mental_traveller]

Advice is often ignored, that's not a fault of the advice, but rather of the person who fails to listen to it. People repeat the same cliched advice only because people keep repeating the same cliched mistakes.

 

Words from strangers can maybe point out some typical mistakes you are making, or give you some other ideas you may not have thought of, or offer some support; but they can't make you suddenly forget someone you were in love with, or get over someone in a day. You have to do that yourself, in your own time.

 

As for mr-unhappily-married - that is what happens when you allow yourself to drift into unsuitable relationships driven by societal expectations and conformity, rather than finding out what is truly right for you and your own individual nature and preferences. It takes insight and guts to go against the grain, but it probably gives you a better chance of being happy & fulfilled.

[ButtHead]

I don't think you're part of the minority because at least I know I think the same way. My head tells me I'm just being ridiculous and in denial, but my heart keeps telling me that, above all logic, I need to think of a way to get back with her. I've had days where I was certain I was over her and that I'll find someone better because I'm such a great guy just to have a dream about my ex and fall back in love with her in the morning.

 

In fact, I just had a dream that she was posting on LS with her first name and I found out she was doing the same thing as me trying to get over her and we fell in love again and lived happily ever after. Those dreams suck! Because I wake up to this $hithole called reality and I have to face the facts.

 

Sometimes I think of the craziest solutions that I know have between 0.01 and 2.00% chances, but I would seriously consider any chances at all (marriage proposal I gave 2.0% and murder her current bf I gave 1.0%). I think I'm at a solid 10.0% by trying to be myself. I am so hopeless. ...ly in love. Somebody stop me! (from The Mask)

[Trialbyfire]

In order to move on, you have to be prepared to let go. This is a conscious and subconscious decision. The harder you work at it and I mean, serious determination over time, the faster it will happen.

 

I swear it's a combination of ego, separation anxiety and obsessive compulsion.

 

If someone doesn't want to be with you, let them go!

[carrotgirl]

Sometimes I think that when people hold on for years and years it is not the person that they were with that they want or miss anymore.

 

I swear it's a combination of ego, separation anxiety and obsessive compulsion.

 

Mid kiss the other night I questioned my motivation for being with GD along these lines exactly.

 

It would be a big fat lie to say I didn't ask and answer myself if maybe I'd rather not be a couple with GD anymore.

 

Carrot

[Trialbyfire]

Mid kiss the other night I questioned my motivation for being with GD along these lines exactly.

 

It would be a big fat lie to say I didn't ask and answer myself if maybe I'd rather not be a couple with GD anymore.

 

Carrot

Carrot, I think sometimes it's some of the brightest who have the most difficulty in letting go, in that they believe they can change or control any situation.

 

Once again, this isn't always applicable. There are enough of the trapped, who almost welcome the pain/self-pity over feeling nothing. Self-created drama. The list goes on and on why people can't let go and move on.

[Trialbyfire]

Just to share an inner paraphrased dialogue I've had in the past with myselves for amusement sake:

 

Anger - What an a,b,c,d,e,f,g,h,i,j,k,l,m...(negative reasons) he was/had/did!!!!

 

Angst/sadness - Oh, but I miss him so much.

 

Desire - Gawd, just one more time.

 

Equilibrium - It is what it is. Let it go. You're only hurting yourselves.

 

Amusement - You're all a bunch of morons.

 

After a length of time, Equilibrium and Amusement dominate.

[carrotgirl]

Carrot, I think sometimes it's some of the brightest who have the most difficulty in letting go, in that they believe they can change or control any situation.

 

Equilibrium - It is what it is. Let it go. You're only hurting yourselves.

 

Amusement - You're all a bunch of morons.

Tri, I'm not quite bright enough to be sure if your selves are calling me a moron too!

Funny you mentioned the control word. That specific word was what kicked it off for me.

 

Your points about equilibrium and amusement jive as well.

 

 

I asked myself, Am I in control of this situation? I answered me, Nope, only your actions.

 

What just happened here? You're both agreeing to try something old and new.

 

When did he get SO BIG? You know when.

 

Maybe I don't feel like trying anymore. You can walk away any time.

 

What if he doesn't want to try again? You just found out he does so what is your problem?

 

Maybe I like drama? You really don't like drama.

 

What if we need drama to fuel passion now? You're being idiotic.

 

Am I really sure I love this man? Yep, you really love him. You love the whole man.

 

Wha? If you keep doing this he's going to know you're not thinking about him and then you'll have drama. Shut up and kiss the man Carrot.

 

 

Hell yah. It all went running through my head. And I think what I wound up letting go of was my bullshhit.

[Trialbyfire]

Haha...carrot, Amusement tends to find life funny, in general, especially the silly things I do and do to myself. It has good reason to call me moron!

 

Letting go of personal b/s is very good, as long as you don't put up with GDs b/s! He needs to own that, himself!

[carrotgirl]

Letting go of personal b/s is very good, as long as you don't put up with GDs b/s! He needs to own that, himself!

Tri, 2 days in, he's meeting me part way. He's testing the waters a bit also. We'll have to wait and see if it lasts won't we?

 

Mike, as far as being around LS 10 years from now, take what you need and leave the rest. There's no one size fits all, so it's cool.

 

Carrot