Forget this life. I NEED to die.

[Serph]

Wow, I can't believe that so many *******s in this topic have the gall to act all high and mighty, and be so agressive towards a poor confused guy going through immense pain. Way to go! Why does this always happen, why do mobs always have to prey on the weak under a feigned pretense of concern when they open up and timidly dare asking for a bit of comfort? That's such shameful behavior! Would you smug types dare speak the way you do if LonelyVocalist was right in front of you? Don't think so. Get off your high horses and stop acting like drill sergeants.

 

LV, I hope you're still reading this. I understand perfectly how you feel, and I sincerely wish you could get past that terrible state. I'm sure I can picture how you currently feel.

 

You feel as if no one ever appreciates anything that you do. You go through life and feel as if everything's pointless. You spend all day trying to find at least one gratifying thing to cheer you up and always end up empty-handed. You go through a routine that scares you, sweeps away all your energy and joy of living, and makes you feel completely jaded. No one seems to understand you or even makes the effort to understand you. Everyone seems inept in their advice, or downright condescending. You form a few friendships and relationships with acquaintances and yet nothing seems to satisfy. You'd want the compassion and the intimacy, the relief that usually comes with a solid relationship.

 

And yes it's very insulting to constantly hear how people you don't know are incredibly poor, ill and have it bad. Persons who use that as a retort make it sound like your own woes, your own worries are worthless. That's not true; every life plight is well deserving of serious care and concern. Shame to the hurtful ones who make any light of it. You can weep and cry as often as you want, and please don't feel ashamed about any of it. It's normal to sometimes be burdened by so much pain that seemingly, even if you do wish to cling onto life, the only way to attain some sort of relief appears to be death, and it's a feeling that's hard to understand for those who've never been through it.

 

Now, are there ways to turn the tide? I'm sure of it. However I don't think it can come from medication, therapy, hobbies, work, or anything of the sort. I think that even if you'd get into a relationship it would only do for a time, and then after a while you'd go back to your old jaded, tormented self. Every external source of gratification quickly becomes less and less effective over time.

 

The battle is to be fought within your own mind. I think that you must find ways to embrace who you are just the way it is, with your flaws, and learn to acknowledge, appreciate, and nurture the positive traits that you do have. Now of course it appears impossible in your current state of being since everything seems painful, tiring, depressing and hopeless, and you have no external sources of validation/compassion to support you.

 

But I've noticed that you're cynical. That's actually a good way to start! Because when you're cynical, it means that you have ardour. Little by little, ardour can evolve into agressivity, combativity, and finally you can turn it into energy, resolve, confidence and pride. Qualities that people appreciate and admire in others!

 

So, sometimes you have really hard tasks to accomplish and you simply feel sore, sad and tired? In a sense, that's cool! Facing so much adversity makes you all the braver! Feel the adversity, and feel like you're some sort of cool rebel! Even if it's irrational, you can't help but to feel like everyone is out to get you? Feel like it's you versus the world, and use it to feed your own flame!

 

I'm persuaded that it's what you need to nurture. Learn to scorn everyone else, learn to scorn the whole world. Think of what makes you afraid, makes you doubt the most, and confront it. Learn to find ways to ridicule it, to mock it. Learn to find ways not to let anyone or anything let you down, not to ever feel ashamed of anything you think or do. This kind of attitude will become something that you might end up truly admiring about yourself. This is a way in which you can learn to stop being self-loathing and be instead flamboyant, and love yourself! No matter how bad the external elements of your life are, it won't really matter since your biggest source of inspiration, of faith will be your own pride!

 

I wish you courage, and a life free or pain where everything will feel a bit more enchanting than it currently is for you.

[Lishy]

Ever seen me in school? I stare at the walls and decorations, not the materials in class. I blurt things out for no reason, am very VERY impulsive, and am either extremely lethargic, or extremely speedy and giddy. I think the depression likely have come from having to deal with people misunderstanding and judging the way I am and constantly leaving me out.

 

I've tried anti-depressants several times, and they actually made me feel WORSE.

 

 

 

if only medicinal cannabis wasn't so difficult to obtain...

 

my bad, THIS will be my last post on this thread.

 

You need a diagnosis! You need it QUICK!

 

I think you may not have ADHD, but I am not a doctor so PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE get a diagnosis!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

If you listen to anything PLEASE just go and be diagnosed!!!!!!!!!!

 

Oh and cannibis is the WORST thing you can do! The WORST! It will multiply your depression

[Taramere]

I don't blame them much, but they were definately the fuel for the fire. I almost completely blame myself for having an introverted nature.

 

But that's your temperament. An introverted nature isn't, in itself, an illness or a flaw. Undoubtedly, though, it can sometimes hold people back. Particularly as more extroverted people (or people who dislike/are ashamed of their own introverted tendencies) often perceive it as a sign that you lack confidence in yourself and react to you accordingly. Often in a way that isn't very helpful or conducive to building up your confidence.

 

Some people do get a shabbier deal. It doesn't just seem that way...it is that way. However, people often contribute to their own misfortunes by throwing away chances they've been given, or by permitting themselves to be bogged down by negative thinking. I'm not talking about you here; I've done it and I'm sure lots of other people have.

 

Deeply ingrained thinking habits aren't going to get altered by a thread on a message board. Mainly what you're doing here with your responses is further hypnotising yourself into believing all the bad stuff. Shutting out the possibility that things could ever get better for you.

 

Something like Cognitive Behavioural Therapy can't give you a pretty girlfriend, a ripped body or a singing voice you'd be happier with. So on that basis it might seem pointless. On the other hand if you can get CBT counselling and somehow open yourself up to the possibility of it working (as opposed to something you make a token gesture of co-operating with in order to prove that "that doesn't work either") you might well be a step closer to becoming that guy who has at least some of those things.

 

Imagine that Hell involves being permanently stuck in a room with the people you hate most in the world. The people who have done you the most harm. It's a place that depressed people keep themselves in by refusing to let go of negative messages about themselves that their mistakes, misfortunes and their critics/enemies have drummed into them. Refusing to believe they can be helped to a level where they no longer dwell on mistakes, misfortunes and unconstructive "you can't do it/you're not X enough..." criticism.

 

Think of all the efforts you've made in the past to put on a cheerful, happy face for your friends. The motivation and the desire to become a happier person is evidently there, but you obviously need help in channeling it properly. You can't stop other people from passing criticism and negative judgements. It's often counterproductive to even try, not to mention a waste of energy - but you can learn to develop a shield against it. Don't give up.

[The Collector]

I think you could channel this negativity into some funny writing. The stuff about life being a gift, but one of those crappy gifts you don't want, is pretty good. You like Kurt Vonnegut? Write a novel. I did when I was depressed and it helped. As konfuzd noted, you have a good writing style, and I don't throw that compliment out easily. Maybe that's what you need to do, and you can die later.

[shanny]

Why are you even on this board? For sympathy? You are not gonna get much sympathy for refusing to do anything to fix your problems and for threatening suicide. People come to these boards to find solutions to their problems... You are not willing to listen to or consider any help. You don't want help. You WANT to be miserable.

 

Look... I've been a manic depressive for years and have gone through phases where I wanted to kill myself. But I always find a way out and I'm thankful to be alive. Taking your own life is the most selfish, stupid thing you can do.

 

What you said about the other poster's niece being better off for being disabled is sickening. She can not do one thing to help herself and to be happier. YOU CAN. You have the choice to make your life better. Do you not realize that people control their own happiness? We could all be miserable schmucks. We are all put on this earth with different characteristics, different strengths and different weaknesses. Part of the journey in life is to learn to live with what you have been given and make the best of it. OK, so you weren't blessed in the looks department. Big deal. You've been given some other challenges as well with your ADHD. It is your duty to find out how to make the best of what you've got... and believe me you can.

 

And you do write very well... What you said about being "slow" or "stupid" is obviously not true. You are very obviously an intelligent person. You should seek professional help and get out of this. You will be very glad you did. We only have one life... you may not love yours but it's all you've got.

[LonelyVocalist]

Oh and cannibis is the WORST thing you can do! The WORST! It will multiply your depression

 

Would you all rather I be an alcoholic?

 

You're joking, right!? When I used to smoke herb, I was a lot happier, relaxed, down-to-earth, and even healthier and more focused than I am now. I remember it was one of the only things that helped me pass my first semester in college. If it weren't for mary jane, I'd be even more miserable and misanthropic than I am now. Now, I'm against smoking large amounts every day, but sometimes a little forbidden medicine can do the trick.

 

Medicinal Cannabis is used for LOTS of conditions, depression included. Try glaucoma, cancer, chronic pain, asthma, and lots more. It's just that people mis-understand ANYTHING that's illegal. People just don't understand how something illegal can alleviate a lot of the depression and anxiety... not to mention help my acid reflux and other stomach pains. Typical human nature, making mis-informed decision based on what the government says.

 

Sure, there's downsides... it makes my singing suck, and my short term memory isn't as sharp... but there exists vaporisors and so what if it makes me stupid? If given the choice, would you rather be stupid and happy or smart and miserable? I, for one, choose the latter. Call me reckless.

 

I know I said I'd stop posting on this thread, but I just had to put my two-cents in on this issue.

 

Cannabis has to be the closest thing America has to Falun Gong.

[LonelyVocalist]

Something like Cognitive Behavioural Therapy can't give you a pretty girlfriend, a ripped body or a singing voice you'd be happier with. So on that basis it might seem pointless. On the other hand if you can get CBT counselling and somehow open yourself up to the possibility of it working (as opposed to something you make a token gesture of co-operating with in order to prove that "that doesn't work either") you might well be a step closer to becoming that guy who has at least some of those things.

 

CBT, in my opinion, hasn't really worked on me. I'm not saying that as being uninformed or stubborn, I've read lots about it and attempted it, and in the end, it actually made a lot of my problems WORSE. I'm not saying it doesn't work for lots of others; I'm sure it does... but for someone who dreams BIG like me, it'll drag me back down to where I used to be in this crappy "real" world. Maybe I'm a "daydreamer" who "nothing is good enough for", but remember, my huge dreams weren't something I could choose either, again, I'm just the vessel. And unfortunately, they're all I've got. Why even wake up in the morning knowing that if I really work at it and spend a jackload of time in college drugged off of god-knows-what, I can get a decent office job, a 3 bedroom house in a lower-middle class neighborhood, a wife I'm not attracted to but is goodly enough to hold a few conversations with and have a family with me, and a little bit of time to pursue things as mere "hobby". GOOD GOD! I'd rather be DEAD than live a droning existance like that! Perhaps a lot of people are happier that way, but again, I consider myself a black sheep in many many ways.

 

But then again, what the crap do I know? I don't know myself... a bunch of psychologists and therapists always have the answers, right?

[LonelyVocalist]

I think you could channel this negativity into some funny writing. The stuff about life being a gift, but one of those crappy gifts you don't want, is pretty good. You like Kurt Vonnegut? Write a novel. I did when I was depressed and it helped. As konfuzd noted, you have a good writing style, and I don't throw that compliment out easily. Maybe that's what you need to do, and you can die later.

 

The LAST thing I wanna be in life is a writer. It's just too boring and introverted of an existance. Sitting still all day filling up blank sheets of paper... I'm too spontaneous and disorganized for such a career anyways. If I didn't desire to be a singer, I'd try my hand at acting, actually. Even though people THINK I'm super introverted, and sometimes act that way, I'm not. If I'm a depressed ugly loser, why not capitalize on it and leave the tranquility to the eggheads and wallflowers?

 

I have some ideas...

 

1) read the Bible

2) exercise

3) join a band

4) anti-depressants (paxil, prozac, etc)

 

Good luck. It's not just you, we're all f-ed up in one way or another. Please don't kill yourself or do anything crazy, I for one will miss you. There is a better life beyond here, and it's called heaven. But you can't get there if you commit suicide. Accept Jesus into your life, and things will change for the better.

 

Oh, great. I already have friends who are fundamentalist christians who dump a ton of this "Jesus is lord and perfect and can NEVER do wrong" crap on me and that I should believe a 2000 year old book like it has any answers to my problems.

 

I work on Sundays, so I'm gonna rot in hell anyways. Besides, all my friends and family are going there, and even heaven would suck without them.

 

Thanks for the offer, kind sir, but I'll stick with watching George Carlin, thank you very much.

[GPFan]

Lonely Vocalist,

 

Clinical depression is awful. Just awful. Constant pain and seemingly no way out because the ennui of depression makes it very difficult to act on anything.

 

At this point, you have nothing to lose so why not go to the nearest hospital and ask to be admitted for suicidal ideation. Give them an opportunity to help you. If you feel your next step will be the final step, then what do you have to lose?

 

Who knows? You may get your life back! That can't happen unless you give it go.

 

Nothing to lose and everything to gain.

 

How about it?

[Sks]

Go on a walk, literally. Like a spirit quest or what ever its called. The Indians do it. Go out in the woods for a couple months then come back, you will be changed.

[Taramere]

CBT, in my opinion, hasn't really worked on me. I'm not saying that as being uninformed or stubborn, I've read lots about it and attempted it, and in the end, it actually made a lot of my problems WORSE. I'm not saying it doesn't work for lots of others; I'm sure it does... but for someone who dreams BIG like me, it'll drag me back down to where I used to be in this crappy "real" world. Maybe I'm a "daydreamer" who "nothing is good enough for", but remember, my huge dreams weren't something I could choose either, again, I'm just the vessel.

 

Well as nothing works, and you have no control over/responsibility for the way your mind works, I agree that you would seem to be stuck.

 

 

a bunch of psychologists and therapists always have the answers, right?

 

Not if you lack any identity beyond being depressed. I don't think therapists deal in providing people with replacement personalities.

 

If I'm a depressed ugly loser, why not capitalize on it

 

How do you plan on doing that?

[LikesMeNot]

Is it really that bad? Ask yourself that question. As some say: "when life gives you lemons, make lemonade." Well, apparently you have a ton of extremely sour lemons:sick:, but turn you life around, and you'll have gallons of lemonade. I'm not saying you should totally change your life. Tweak a couple of things, study more, pretty much do what you can do. Perhaps you should do what you want to do the most, which was..... oh yeah, be a vocalist. Since you think your life is meaningless, you might as well inject some meaning into it.

LikesMeNot

[Fritz The Cat]

2 words

 

Brain Chemistry

 

Nobody understands it and nobody can effectively treat a brain out of balance. Drug Companies are, however, more than willing to exploit those who suffer from depression by selling them hugely expensive drugs which do absolutely nothing but empty out the poor souls wallet.

 

The only advise i can offer is eat right, get lots of exercise and sunshine. Above all, quit looking for useful advice from people who don't have a freakin' clue. There is no way that you can change what's going on in your head by will power or enlightenment. All you can do is search for the cause of the imbalance and pray that you find it. The answer lies in you habits and your life style and maybe even you diet.

 

As long as you live, there is hope. Good luck in your search.

[sin35]

I wanted to start by saying I may not understand what your going through, I may not even begin to fathom the struggle you personally experience but I wont come here and tell you I know someone who has it worse cause thats an attempt to shock you into being "grateful" for something you cant even feel at the moment. Anywho, so far ive noticed your pretty smart and quick witted, yeah you have faults, we all do doesnt mean you dont have the right to feel depressed about it. Struggling with ADHD and a lack of ambition is horrible ill admit, you also mentioned youve seen multiple therapists and sought out help all to fail miserably...this is unfortunate yet not impossible! you may have fallen unto the ****tiest theapists of all time or you are simply not cutt out for therapy. not everyone is. there are many other ways to bring up your dopamine levels up such as; medication, exercise, cutting...and so on... ok the cutting was a joke! i suggest you start playing online games. the reason for this in case someone reads this and hates world of warcraft with a passion is; online gaming helps people with their social anxiety and physical impairments feel...well normal. although it is to be recognized as a dellusion of sorts, i still recommend you give it a go since it seems nothing else works. if your interested in my post and suggestion please feel free to contact me. ^_^

 

best of luck to you.

[LonelyVocalist]

Lonely Vocalist,

 

Clinical depression is awful. Just awful. Constant pain and seemingly no way out because the ennui of depression makes it very difficult to act on anything.

 

At this point, you have nothing to lose so why not go to the nearest hospital and ask to be admitted for suicidal ideation. Give them an opportunity to help you. If you feel your next step will be the final step, then what do you have to lose?

 

Who knows? You may get your life back! That can't happen unless you give it go.

 

Nothing to lose and everything to gain.

 

How about it?

 

Just like how some old folks REFUSE to die in a nursing home, just how my dad said he didn't want any misery at his funeral *he didn't necessarily get his wish*, just like how some people just don't want their family to mourn over being conscious of their final days...

 

If and when I off myself, I don't want people to be in misery. I want them to party. Have fun. Enjoy what little possible joy there is to be had on this pathetic planet. Smoke some weed. Drink some beer. Pop some E, eat some shrooms, drop some LSD. Do all those hard drugs that I'm afraid to try. I don't wish for my friends to mourn my death, I want them to dump my ashes in a cannabis plant, so I can return to the earth and maybe make more of an impact dead than I do alive. I don't want my family to feel like it's their fault, I'll make sure to find a way to write the suicide note so that it shows that their efforts weren't in vain, and that my mom deserves a much better son than I. It's a disheartening, discomforting thought for most, but I'm sure I'll make a much more effective impact dead than alive.

 

However, for at least this next year, I've decided to avoid trying to kill myself. If I do die in a freak accident, awesome, but if not, I'm sure I can maybe live another 5 years. Plus, the way anti-suicide watch is (my brother's old bandmate told me about it) would make me wanna kill myself even more. Might as well enjoy what little snippets of joy there are left in this god-forsaken world.

[GPFan]

If and when I off myself, I don't want people to be in misery. I want them to party. Have fun.

I agree with you! Everyone knows I want them to par-tayyyyyyyyy.

 

I, too, have left strict instructions to be cremated. The land is for the living, I will have no use for it after I pass on. I also want my ashes spread in a part of the world that is very special to me even though I don't live there.

 

 

 

However, for at least this next year, I've decided to avoid trying to kill myself. If I do die in a freak accident, awesome, but if not, I'm sure I can maybe live another 5 years. Plus, the way anti-suicide watch is (my brother's old bandmate told me about it) would make me wanna kill myself even more. Might as well enjoy what little snippets of joy there are left in this god-forsaken world.

Good to hear lonely vocalist and fair enough.

 

Let's see what the next five-years brings!

[monkey5]

I don't think you are whining in this post, despite what others are telling you.

 

You would be surprised to find that many other people feel the same way you do. I am guessing you are in your late teens or early/mid 20s. I actually feel the same way lately...it's so hard trying to find your "niche". I also have severe ADHD. I have not been medicated, however, i manage it with exercising 2 hours a day. It's the only thing that brings the ADHD down to a manageable level. (still overwhelming).

 

As for the friend thing, a lot of the time, people do this without even realizing it. It's annoying as h*ll, but you just have to go with it, and use that alone time and fill it with other things.

 

As for the vocal part, don't listen to a word that other people say. There are so many great frontmen who aren't gifted, who put on a great show. Look at David Lee Roth, Bret Michaels, and Vince Neil. They don't have the greatest voices, but their vocal talent gets overlooked with their charisma.

 

I had a lot of social trouble for a while- still do- but the best way to gain new friends, keep acquaintences, etc. is through doing good things for others. As hokey as this sounds, sometimes bending over backwards helping a person can help secure your place in their mind...and maybe they won't forget you the next time...as long as you don't blow them off.

 

You are not alone with your feelings. Everyone has a point in their life when they feel this way, whether they admit it or not. You will find something you are great at...and sometimes, things fall into your lap when you least expect it. I really wish you the best. I hope I helped a little bit.

[Lishy]

I am glad you stuck around LV

 

Sorry I was rough on you! I know it is hard when you feel so low. I really do know!

 

I also know that when you feel that way YOU are the only one who can help yourself. It is not for the weak but I am sure you will be fine.

 

Please go and get a diagnosis and some proper help

[shineonu]

do you realize how interesting your life could be if you took all that pent up hate and anger and channeled it into doing something usefull for yourself??

 

i am the same way. i have a LOT of anger...and it's taken me 20-something years with major depression to find out that i can use it take make changes in my life.

 

Here's the truth the way i see it:

In the grand scheme of things you don't matter.

your life doesn't matter at all. you are like an ant that will get squished one day. There's no Greater Meaning...all that is romantic b.s. and hindsight.

The only meaning in this life is what you choose it to mean.

 

What did I do when I used to think like you?

I shrinked away, i was bitter and angry, i brought others down around me, i allowed myself to get into a toxic marriage, i was suicidal, etc...

 

Here's what you seem to not understand buddy...your attitude is a self-fulfilling prophecy.

You actually create and propel what you are whining about by acting in that manner.

 

When I wised up to this, i decided i was sick of it.

I took all my hate and anger and used it as energy to become assertive.

I adopted the attitude -> f*** you, this is my life, you suck if i can't use you or you don't benefit me in any way....next...

 

I did this with a kind smile and general politeness.

(I acted the part of what i wasn't)

 

This did two things:

first, it made people believe i was really like that.

second, it started becoming a habit and i started believing my own b.s. and soon, it was just me. a different self-fulfilling prophecy that worked FOR me instead of AGAINST me.

 

Ironically, people found this more attractive...WTF??????

I'm still trying to figure this one out...i think it might have to do with the fact that people are attracted to confidence.

 

IMO, you should use your hate and anger as fuel to build confidence and a no-bull**** attitude (you already have that part to boot..it comes through loud and clear in your post)

 

start making lemonade out of your lemons.

coming from an atheist, you have only one shot at life. It's as cliche as it sounds...life is only what you make it, nothing more.

 

or...

 

kill yourself. i don't care. people die everyday ...what's another drop in the bucket?

 

(but i don't think you really want to kill yourself, otherwise you wouldn't be wasting time baaawwwwing on an internet forum...you would just do it.)

 

good luck either way.

[LonelyVocalist]

kill yourself. i don't care. people die everyday ...what's another drop in the bucket?

 

(but i don't think you really want to kill yourself, otherwise you wouldn't be wasting time baaawwwwing on an internet forum...you would just do it.)

 

good luck either way.

 

I'm not an Atheist (for the record, I'm an Animist, but with my own views), but at least you're honest about the fact that we are but mere ants in the realm of the universe.

 

It's not that I don't wanna kill myself, it's that there are no fool-proof ways to do so. I don't wanna attempt it only to be unlucky enough to survive it and (if I'm lucky) have to pee in a cup for the rest of my life. Luckily (or not so luckily), I found out that most suicides AREN'T successful. Plus, I do have the miniscule droplet of hope (no matter how pathetic, unrealistic, pie-in-the-sky idealistic, and meek it is) that things might just change for the better. If not, then I'm sure the depression, absence of intimacy, and chronic lonliness will kill me off soon enough.

[puppycat]

I've been through depression too, tried to kill myself 3 times. Trust me, it can get better if you want it to. Thing is, when you're depressed, you don't want it to.

 

It *IS* hard work, if not impossible, to pull yourself out of a depression without medication. Seems like you understand how it can help to change your perspective when you have an altered state of consciousness. I say give prescription antidepressants a chance....try a few different kinds if you have to; it takes a while to find the right one.

 

Personally, what I needed was medication to help clear my head and help me focus.

[shineonu]

I'm not an Atheist (for the record, I'm an Animist, but with my own views), but at least you're honest about the fact that we are but mere ants in the realm of the universe.

 

well..i really believe we are. some people find that point of view depressing. i don't, i find it invigorating. i have only one shot and that's a great motivator to live your life the best way possible. then again, i tend to be pretty philisophical. drives my wife nuts.

 

It's not that I don't wanna kill myself, it's that there are no fool-proof ways to do so. I don't wanna attempt it only to be unlucky enough to survive it and (if I'm lucky) have to pee in a cup for the rest of my life. Luckily (or not so luckily), I found out that most suicides AREN'T successful. Plus, I do have the miniscule droplet of hope (no matter how pathetic, unrealistic, pie-in-the-sky idealistic, and meek it is) that things might just change for the better. If not, then I'm sure the depression, absence of intimacy, and chronic lonliness will kill me off soon enough.

yea..it would be rather embarrasing to fail at suicide..

 

but, you seem rather intelligent i'm sure if you really wanted to you could find a way. Personally, i would hang on to the drop of hope...and make the "change for the better" instead of waiting for it to happen...but that's just me.

 

Being naturally disposed to depression, i can understand the small guilty pleasure one receives by being angry all the time. I just refuse to indulge in it anymore. Waste of time really...and got tired of the never-ending cycle of **** it creates.

[kittygogogo]

I also suffer from undiagnosed ADD, but am seeing a psychologist next week to get medication. I have also suffered from depression because of a never-ending feeling of failure. I don't set goals for myself, cause I know I can't attain them. I exercise and eat right, but this illness is bigger than me.

 

Have you tried getting the right meds for this? I am going to ask my Dr. about Adderral next week. If you are not getting the proper diagnosis for your ADD & depression than you need to get further help. As a sufferer of ADD, I know how difficult this can be, as the ADD itself does not allow for you to follow through on anything. I am tired of the feeling of not ever accomplishing any goals, but there are things that you can do. I have sympathy with you, but you should know that you are not alone.

 

The ADD itself causes many of the problems that you are having in life and if you can control it with whatever means, perhaps you can become a bit happier? ADD casues you to not be able to process information properly. You miss out on 1/2 of what you hear/read because your brain doesn't "catch" the information. This is not your fault. Your brain is not working properly (just like mine!). You aren't stupid, in fact you're ADD probably makes you creative and unique, but it also causees you to be thin-skinned and to be overly critical of yourself and others. It is the nature of the problem.

 

You should seek the help that you need. This is what I am doing because I am tired of feeling like a failure at everthing. It ends now!

[Sw3etdev1L]

I don't want to be rude or anything, but I think you need to seek medical counseling.

Maybe you need a little therapy to get your life straight, maybe some kind of a treatment.

Depression is something horrible.

 

I didn't know I had major depression until I ended up in the hospital. I didn't even know this sickness existed. Actually it is not something abnormal.. more than 60% of people in the world have had or will have to be treated by major depression. Why?

well, you feel very lazy, you sleep a lot, you don't necessarily have to be thinking negatively all the time, but sometimes you just feel like an outkast. Not because you really are an outkast, but because that's he way you feel, you cannot control it.

 

I had my therapy and I took antidepressives for two years. I have always been healthy, done exercise and have never been thinking about suicide or, quitting life. It just happened.

 

My advice is, you should seek professional counseling. It is such a tabboo.. Nobody trusts or wants to go to a psychiatrist or a psychologist. But the reality is, more than half of the population has gone to a psychologist or a psychiatrist in its life.

You are not alone. I think your nervous system is just collapsed, and your way of thinking by now is totallyl negative. You have the power in your hands to be happy. Even if it is hard, remember there is always something good for you if you are in search of your happiness.

 

goodluck

ps. I recommend for you to check out some site, on major depression. Maybe you don't know it, You haven't thought about it. It happened to me, but maybe you are sick.

 

By now, I am not taking any anti depressives. They don't cause you addiction, they just make you feel better, they stabilize your neurochemicals. And by now I can say I am better than when I was 17.

My parents got a divorced, my mother had cancer, I got involved with someone 13 years older than me, I changed careers three times.

By now it is so different. I feel so strong.

My outlook on life is different. Like I am breathing again, reborn. You kow?=

maybe you need to go to the doctor to.

I decided to become a doctor because of what happened to me. I am stronger than. I have never done drugs, r been alcoholic, but I can go out and have a normal life again.

[LonelyVocalist]

I don't want to be rude or anything, but I think you need to seek medical counseling.

 

I've seen several therapists since I was 15. Not one of them has been able to help me. Not their fault, it's just my problems aren't the kind that can easily be fixed. Also, I've tried anti-depressants and they simply make the problem worse and screw with my appetite.