Forget this life. I NEED to die.

[Angel1111]

Well, one thing I can tell you for sure right away, you're not dumb. Actually, you're extremely articulate. I was going to suggest that you write a book about your condition because I was personally surprised to learn what someone with ADHD goes through. I had no idea. I think it would also help people who share your problem to know that they aren't alone, and maybe it would even enlighten the medical field. You just might make some money, too, and then you could travel the world and say 'screw you' to working. It could be done as an eBook so that you wouldn't have to deal with publishers. Well, I know you said you don't want to write so that's probably not an option but you definitely have the talent for it. You're very articulate and well-spoken, with the ability to reach into your soul and say what you mean. You may have hated school and college but you definitely picked up something.

 

I'm not sure if you live in the U.S. and, if you do, what state you're in but I have a friend who was diagnosed with bi-polar and she gets $1,200/mo from the state (or goverment, I'm not positive which) because her condition prevents her from being able to hold down a steady job. It gives her some room to breath and something like that could make a big difference for you. Not having enough money can keep you on the edge and contribute a great deal to feelings of hopelessness. Maybe it's something you can look into. If you want more information on it, I can ask my friend where you can begin looking. Let me know.

 

I'm so sorry you're so sad and that you have to endure so many problems on such an extreme level. This is not fun in any way at all and my heart goes out to you.

[Lucky555]

after reading your post i have found these things

 

1. you have a negative view towards your life

2. Depression

3. You want to be a vocalist and your good at guitar

4. You don't like your job

5. nothings seems to help

6. ADHD

7. your family does not understand you

 

First of all how old are you?

 

I see why you are depressed...find another job first of all that you can at least go to work and enjoy it to some extent..why not sell guitars since you are so into them..i am sure someone would appreciate your knowledge of music.

 

You have to help yourself. Have you found any groups or people that like music as much as yourself..can you join a band..put an add up online to correspond through email with others and then find a meeting place?

 

Are you taking anything for ADHD...prescription?

 

You can change your life around and i bet that depression will lift from you.

 

Do you also take depression meds? maybe the dosage effects you too much too.

 

Your family needs education about your adhd can you put a paper about it on the fridge so they are aware and maybe they can read it even

[Angel1111]

I've been thinking about your situation off and on since I read about it because it truly disturbs me. To be in your situation cannot be any fun at all (as you already know).

 

I have another suggestion and it may or may not appeal, but here it is. Why not just drop everything you're doing and everything you have, and live like you're dying. You say that you need to die so why not live like you are. By that I mean save as much money as you can over a certain period of time - say 1 year. Stop paying for everything you don't need - cable, cell phone, whatever. Everything you do over this year period is to get you to your goal. During this year, get yourself physically fit by walking every day or doing some kind of exercise. When you're ready to go, get rid of every possession you have, get a passport if you don't already have one (just in case you decide to go out of the country), purchase a nice backpack and tent, and take a tour around the US on foot...and around the world if you choose.

 

Read up on how people do this and how to plan for it. It may sound over the top and ridiculous, but I think we need to hit the reset button when our lives are this completely out of kilter. In your case, you would probably be so preoccupied with survival and so engaged in your surroundings that you would feel much more in touch with life. And if you want to get really creative, take a video camera with you and make a documentary out of it.

 

If you don't want to go all-out like this, then keep all your stuff and go off for 2 weeks or a month. Just some thoughts. Hey, Forrest Gump did it.

 

As someone said in Shawshank Redemption, "Get busy living, or get busy dying." Do something, anything to pull yourself out of this hell you're living in. Shake your life upside down so that you don't recognize it anymore. You never know what awaits you.