Hemmed Up Posted June 12, 2008 Share Posted June 12, 2008 Following a situation in which maybe one was forced to have sex, is it normal for that person to feel completely normal? To not really be that affected by it? Link to post Share on other sites
LikeCharlotte Posted June 12, 2008 Share Posted June 12, 2008 Following a situation in which maybe one was forced to have sex, is it normal for that person to feel completely normal? To not really be that affected by it?All reactions are normal but it is unlikely to have had no effect at all. It is probably shock or post traumatic stress disorder. It is not uncommon for a person to go numb but I suggest talking to a therapist anyway because it can be very painful and difficult when feelings start to surface. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Hemmed Up Posted June 12, 2008 Author Share Posted June 12, 2008 Thanks LikeCharlotte, I dont think its numbness, I think its just feeling entirely normal. Link to post Share on other sites
borelandkaren Posted June 14, 2008 Share Posted June 14, 2008 Following a situation in which maybe one was forced to have sex, is it normal for that person to feel completely normal? To not really be that affected by it? I think it depends on the situation. I was forced to have sex with my partner (?) many times over a 5 1/2 year period. At the time, while it gave me the ****s a lot of the time, it became "normal" because it was what I was living. Now, however, I know I was raped. I still feel completely "normal" and I know I have been affected by it. I think you may feel differently in time. Who knows? Maybe you might be lucky and come out unscathed. Keep an eye on the way you're feeling, though and make sure if anything starts to surface, that you do something about it, counselling, friends and family, etc. And also, make sure you are not in the position again for this to happen. Take care. Link to post Share on other sites
boshemia Posted July 2, 2008 Share Posted July 2, 2008 Hon it took me three years to really get it. It took someone else being raped by the same man for me to realize what really happened that night. Rape is a power and control thing, and one of the first things rape victims do is try to find a way to restore their sense of control over the world around them... some get angry and fight back, some minimize it and say it wasn't really that big of a deal. Some refuse to leave their homes and some are terrified to be alone. Yep, whatever a girl feels is totally normal for her. Eventually she realizes it is all a false front, she realizes it about the time it all coems crashing down around her. The sooner she realizes she can't do it all alone and gets professional help the better... I'm finally okay again, but it took me five years, two in therapy to say that... Link to post Share on other sites
Nevermind Posted July 2, 2008 Share Posted July 2, 2008 Hemmed up, did you ex find you? What happened? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Hemmed Up Posted July 15, 2008 Author Share Posted July 15, 2008 Hemmed up, did you ex find you? What happened? Hey, thanks for asking, Nevermind....to answer shortly, no. But he's not too far behind. I hate to think of him as an "ex" because it wasnt my choice to begin with. I really dont know what to call him anymore. I cant help but feel really sick sometimes, to know that he actually got to me and succeeded in doing all the sick things he would tell me. Its hard sometimes, to remember that I had to do certain things to ensure my survival. Sometimes I feel like I will be alright, but mostly I feel a wreck and disgusted with myself. Im feeling kinda down tonite, wondering when this thing will ever end. I am anxious to begin my life, but for him, he is just as anxious to see it end if he doesnt get his way. Its the way he tries to confuse me, I dont understand...the threats that are mixed in with the "i love you's" why doesnt he just go away if he hates me so much? Hon it took me three years to really get it. It took someone else being raped by the same man for me to realize what really happened that night. Rape is a power and control thing, and one of the first things rape victims do is try to find a way to restore their sense of control over the world around them... some get angry and fight back, some minimize it and say it wasn't really that big of a deal. Some refuse to leave their homes and some are terrified to be alone. Yep, whatever a girl feels is totally normal for her. Eventually she realizes it is all a false front, she realizes it about the time it all coems crashing down around her. The sooner she realizes she can't do it all alone and gets professional help the better... I'm finally okay again, but it took me five years, two in therapy to say that... Thanks Boshemia. I am working on possibly going to therapy, but I dont know...I just feel like its going to be a dead end eventually. I walk around in a fog, and I can recognize sometimes that I might need help, but I just feel so....hopeless? I guess thats the word. Just meaning that I mostly try to do the bare minimum and hope that I can just skate by with that, but Im starting to go down. My employer keeps telling me to get my act together or Im canned. I dont even hear it half the time. I am tired, and I dont bother much with how I look. I dont think its because I have been affected by what happened, I just feel so old now. I talk too much. Let me shut up. But thanks all of you for taking time out to respond. Link to post Share on other sites
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