I care deeply but wonder if its time to move on

[Mickey]

Ok, this is my first post here in fact I really just joined to get this one bit of advice.

Here we go my girlfriend "A" have been together for about a year now and have had a very loving although sometimes strained relationship. Most of this tension results from her controlling nature to paraphrase "I'm the most "whipped" of the "Whipped." Now at first this didn't really bother me I'd never been in a serious relationship before. So I watched as friendships wilted and my senior year of high school passed me by and I neglected to make any of the bonds that my classmates had made. But I had "A" so is ok. Now summer is just plodding along and she has us making plans for marriage and living together. While this has been a topic for discussion in the past now it seems to be very SERIOUS (oh, no) I had never given thought that it may go on like this forever. I have attempted to get her to loosen the collar in the past but its gotten me nowhere my life is now work and her house, this is not what I want I want to go places I want every once and a while.

Now the thing that really got me on here today was an event that occurred at work this evening a I found out co-worker "S" whom I have long been interested in thinks I'm "hot stuff." Personally I feel although I am more compatible with "S" i.e. if she was also controlling we'd at least be doing things I enjoy.

So here it is I care deeply about "A" but wonder if its time to move on, we are very attached to each other and I wonder if the reason that I’ve dealt with my "whippedness" is because I really love her. Should I stay or should I go or should I go with "S."

 

Please boarders help me.

[Tony T]

You have to make the decision on who you break up with and who you see. You are extremely young and have many years of dating ahead of you before you settle down to one person.

 

First, you need to terminate your current relationship. Let her down as easily as possible but don't be intimidated or forced to go through with wedding plans that you have no desire to be a part of. That would be insane. The minute she started pressing for marriage, you should have made it very very clear that was not the direction you wanted to go in at this time.

 

Yes, you should see this person at work you are interested and others as well. Don't box yourself in to one person, at least not for a while. You can love a lot of different people but you should always opt for being with those with whom you are most compatible and share the greatest number of interests.

 

Love will only last so long if that's the only thing you share. I hope you will consider your love interests a lot more carefully in the future.