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I am 22 and my boyfriend is 34 this is actually the best relationship I've ever been in guys in their 20's seem very imature to me. I think it's all about how you guys feel about eachother

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I'd be suspect about a 30-something male that is 10 years below his peers in maturity. I would wonder why 30-something women aren't interested in him.

 

There is no blanket maturity truth about people 20 and up. There are only individual people and what point they are at in their lives. Some people surpass the norm....some people cruise along at it....some refuse to grow as a person.

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I'm 27 and my girlfriend is 34

 

The only problem I encounter is people asking me why a 34 year old hasn't settled down or ever been married. This is normally asked by people who are still in there 20s and happily married, so don't know what it's like to be in a long relationship, only for it to breakdown 10 years later. Which is what happened to her...

 

Now when people ask has she ever been married. I just say no, she was waiting for me to come along! ;)

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longlegzs80

I think if an older guy is going after a younger chick, then it has to be some kind of ego thing. I am 22 and this one guy I meet last term was 35, and seen no problem with us getting together but I had a problem with it and it never happened. I find age to be a big difference. Do you have anything in common with this guy? Is it worth while to see how a relationship would go with an older man? I guess it all depends on your preference and what he has to offer in a relationship.

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The age-difference is not a big deal in our relationship, and all relationships have their plusses and minuses. But there are other issues that sometimes come up.

 

I'm 30F and BF is 43. We have been going out for 5 years. To tell you the truth, I was suspect about it at first, and it still bugs me to a certain extent. It is not the age necessarily, but the fact that when I am with him and his 40 something male friends, they tend to agree that would not imagine going out with women their own age. They much prefer women at least 10 years younger. A young to mid twenty something is considered a "young hotty." Because of this objectification, I could not imagine introducing them to one of my friends. If I did, I would have to warn them about this attitude. It makes me wonder what they are really looking for in women and how much a part of my age is what my partner finds attractive. I wonder in 10 years time if I will still be wanted or if he will seek out younger women (and there may be a few, in all likelihood, who would find some aspects of his lifestyle attractive). And interestingly, I wonder why on Earth they chose to be frank about their thoughts when I was in the room. It makes me wonder how much "locker room" talk we females AREN't privvy to! At the same time, I wonder if they really walk their talk.... Sometimes guys just talk about fantasy as if it were true.

 

Another example of the age-related issues is that my BF is secure in his career and knows who his is/what he wants. When I moved (long distance) to be with him several years ago, I left my friends, family, job, etc. At the time I was in my mid-twenties, and 20 somethings (especially women) have a different way of relating to their peers. His peers were business associates, and he did not feel comfortable having my friends at his apartment. I often felt lonely, because, not only had I left my life, but the lifestyle I was accustomed to and the age-apropriate behavior that I was yearning was difficult to integrate into my life with him.

 

Well, there are a lot of good things in our relationship too and I decided to stick it out. After 5 years together, we haev really grown to haev a shared life.

 

Now here is the clincher. I amnot ready to commit myself to a career and profession. I want to be able to take care of myself and to do something interesting with my life. I believe that after I pursue this seriously that I will be ready to setlle down and start a family. Unfortunately, the best career opportunities are not in the same city as he is. So, the age difference plays a role again here. He is ready to settle down. I need a few more years to get there.

 

So, that is the story.

 

I do not believe that the age is a problem per-se, but there are often other issues that muddy the waters. It is a negative, but not a show-stopper - for me at least.

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