I'm boring

[wierdmunky]

I'm boring, so out of pop culture, and so not savvy when I'm talking!

 

I used to be a cave bat until I completely threw myself out into the public working Restaurant jobs, and met a lot of people. But for some reason I still cant feel motivated and creative like I used to, and not sure what's wrong with me.

 

I know what to say to people in a generic sense, but then I feel so lame like who really cares about that stuff anyway. I'm indecisive, and never really know. Which is completely different then what I used to feel in my late teens early 20's. And good looking people scare the crap out of me when they approach me.

 

I think generally maybe its a fear of being judged. But why should I care about what people think about me when they don't have reason to judge anyway, I know, I know. Easier said than done. I used to say that to people who needed it and cant seem to take my own advice.

 

Also parents are hard on me since JR high (10 yrs??), and are starting to slowly lay off. Which is good, but now I'm growing these resentful feelings like why did they spend so much time trying to make me misrable when in the end it didn't matter, and I spent most of that time just thinking I was a horrible person, because I just couldn't be what they wanted in me. And in the end I am THE same person. Just with insecurities.

 

I've been hating parents, most people who are authoritative, and people who don't sound like they make sense when they talk to me. Eliminates sooo many people who I WANT to make a connection with. And those who are nice who don't judge me I seem to give way too much trust with. I can't find a balance! help por favor

[whichwayisup]

Sounds like you have abit of depression going on. Why not go talk to a therapist and figure things out? You're young and have ALOT of living to do, life experiences to enjoy.

 

We all have insecurities and anyone who tells you otherwise, is lying. Noone is perfect! Even if someone tries to act like they are, they're not!

 

most people who are authoritative, and people who don't sound like they make sense when they talk to me.

 

Can you give afew examples? I'm just curious.

[Suiyobi]

Sorry wierdmunky, I can't comment on the last bits of your post, but what I can say is that as far as being "out of pop culture" and not being "savvy", don't worry too much about it. You can take your time and look into this kind of material, but if you happen to be speaking with someone and not know anything about the subject matter, just ask them. It's better to be honest and up front about it, rather than pretend like you know what they're talking about but only to give them a dumb answer when they ask you for your opinion about the topic. Heck, the person you're speaking to might even find it cute that you're a "virgin" on such a topic and I'm sure they'll have much fun getting your feet wet.

[crosswordfiend]

They are lots of boring/bland people out there in this world. In a sense I envy them. It's much easier to find a match if you yourself are a blank slate.

[tinktronik]

Munkey, lots of people are boring, be thankful that you are boring instead of "dramafull" . Eventually everyone else over time as they age will either become boring too or be diagnosed as mentally ill. So your just ahead of the bell curve.

[FleshNBones]

I know what to say to people in a generic sense, but then I feel so lame like who really cares about that stuff anyway. I'm indecisive, and never really know. Which is completely different then what I used to feel in my late teens early 20's. And good looking people scare the crap out of me when they approach me.

You must be talking about social intercourse. It has little or nothing to do with what is said, but how everything to do with how it is said. They might as well be speaking in tongues.

Thinking carefully before making decisions is a good habit to get into. Hasty decision making usually leads to disaster.

There is nothing special about good looking people other than their looks. They don't deal with rejection very much so they don't worry about it most of the time. People usually give them a lot more slack so they act more freely.

 

There are shallow people, and they probably won't like you, but I'm sure the feeling would be mutual.

Also parents are hard on me since JR high (10 yrs??), and are starting to slowly lay off. Which is good, but now I'm growing these resentful feelings like why did they spend so much time trying to make me misrable when in the end it didn't matter, and I spent most of that time just thinking I was a horrible person, because I just couldn't be what they wanted in me. And in the end I am THE same person. Just with insecurities.

I know the feeling. They are just putting a lot of pressure on you. In my case, my parents put a lot of pressure on me, and their expectations are unrealistic. My being single was a big joke to them until I turned 30. They always thought I was lazy, and now they think I am terribly lazy and desperately need a second job to fill up my extra time, and earn more money. Never mind that I'm thrifty and save most of what I earn.

 

They like to remind me that I'm forever in their debt, and still obligated to obey. I'm still trying to keep close relationship with them, and struggling to keep my sanity.

I've been hating parents, most people who are authoritative, and people who don't sound like they make sense when they talk to me. Eliminates sooo many people who I WANT to make a connection with. And those who are nice who don't judge me I seem to give way too much trust with. I can't find a balance! help por favor

The real challenge is how to condition your parents to view and treat you like an independent adult, instead of a dopey child.

 

In the case of authoritative people, you probably mean unreasonably assertive people. I have goals in my life, I like to think I have a higher purpose. I will assert myself when I am knowledgeable, and know that I can make competent decisions. There are people who will assert themselves for the purpose of asserting themselves. They want to be in the lead, but don't care if they lead you to disaster. Confidence is no substitute for sound reasoning.

 

I think the main reason people freely assert themselves is to improve their status in the pecking order. Personally, I would rather put my time and energy into self improvement instead of constantly challenging a partner.

[electric_sheep]

Eventually everyone else over time as they age will either become boring too or be diagnosed as mentally ill. So your just ahead of the bell curve.

 

This is one of the more hilarious things I've read in a while, and probably quite true. I seem to be getting more and more boring as I age, with a corresponding improvement in my mental health.

[Kristine]

My mom says I'm boring so you're not alone.

[AnLandy]

They are lots of boring/bland people out there in this world. In a sense I envy them. It's much easier to find a match if you yourself are a blank slate.

 

 

I wouldn't necessarily advocate for this point. I just broke off an engagement to a very decent, totally sweet man who self-classified himself as "boring". He's been married once, in three significant long-term relationships, and engaged once. Finding a "match" hasn't been all that easy for him.