FuzzyPenguins Posted July 23, 2003 Share Posted July 23, 2003 Well, here's what I'm sure will be a long-winded story. After a two year friendship with a guy, we both expressed we wanted to take things to the next level. I loved him so deeply at this point that I was all too willing to agree. Our boyfriend-girlfriend experiment actually turned out to be somewhat of a joke. He never tried to make the first move, and I lived in fear, believing that any attempts on my part would disgust him, and risk the destruction of our friendship. Eventually I came to the conclusion that he had only felt sorry for me, to consider going out with me. By the time the 3-month torture period ended, I was so worn down from the rejection that I had convinced myself he had hated me – why else would he have gone to such lengths to hurt me? It didn't help that he started to ignore me. I couldn't bear the thought of losing another person that close to me, so I went through a string of short-lived, meaningless relationships where I did things I completely regret. To make matters worse, my "ex" didn't completely disappear. He instead came back periodically to plead he wanted to try again whenever we'd partly patched things up. I would ignore him and cover my ears as he persisted, each time finally hearing him out. I didn't, after all, want to believe he hated me. Whenever I did give him the benefit of the doubt, I would receive a "Oh, no, I was kidding," an "I didn't mean it," or better yet, an "Of course I'm not lying – I'll just continue to say I wanna be with you even after I've gotten with someone else." It's been about a year since his last attempt, and I'm still not over it. He's as much out of my life as I could make him, cuz I know this is for the best. But I guess the shock of being lied to by someone I thought I would know after several years still hasn’t left me. I can't imagine ever loving, let alone trusting someone again. Can anyone...uh...fix me? Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted July 23, 2003 Share Posted July 23, 2003 I can't fix you but I can tell you that time will surely do the trick. I think it was important for you to go through what you did. You loved their friend and you needed to see what it would go. It went down the tubes and it's good that you found this out...otherwise you may not have been able to live with yourself. Of course, it's natural to be disappointed in this "friend". However, some people are excellent at one level and terrible at another. Some friendships can be upgrades while others can't. Some people make excellent friends and awful lovers...whiles others make great lovers but terrible friends. Try not to be so down on all this. It was a bold experiment and you were very successful in finding out that this guy was wrong for you. You need to now sever all contact. It's ashame to see that the original friendship may not be able to be reconsitituted but that's the risk you took. Sometimes that can happen, others times it cannot. In any case, just feel your feelings and let time pass. You'll get better at this love stuff as time goes on and I don't think this will even happen to you again. If it does, you will nip it in the budd a lot faster. Take some time to do some special things for yourself and forget about men for a while. Link to post Share on other sites
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