Kman21 Posted June 27, 2008 Share Posted June 27, 2008 Well I just want to share something. As some of you may or may not know I have been with my girlfriend two years. She broke it off because she "lost" feelings for me, simple as that. Now she is in college and I know what you guys are gonna say "college changes people", etc. I was just confused how people just lose their feelings like that. I mean two years come on... Anyways I keep telling myself that If she feels that way then she never loved me in the first place and I would find someone better, someone that would really love me. Its been about 5 months since we broke up, im better then before, but every now and then i just have flashbacks and start to hurt, important thing is that i think less of her often. Now i think back about our relationship, there has been lies she told me, its a long story. just little tid bit lies. However she has moved on and everything with another guy and she has told me the biggest lie of all. She told me that she was pregnant with him, and i know for sure shes not , its a long story how i know, but anyways i dont know y she would do that, to hurt me? to make me move on? I dont know but she seemed very insensitive. But anyways I guess when she went of to college she matured and grew out of the high feelings i guess. We still keep in touch, well she still wants to be friends, she told me she wont kick to the curb just cuz shes with someone else, but w/e shes with someone else, i shouldnt care. Link to post Share on other sites
stlnsmile Posted June 27, 2008 Share Posted June 27, 2008 Do you guys think that guys have a harder time moving on after a relationship has ended. I mean for me, its been six months, but I really am done. I will have a day every now and again, and honestly its probably hormonal on those days:) But guys seem to hang on longer, if they loved the girl. On the other side, it seems when a guy is done, he drops a girl so easily, and moves on so much quicker with no guilt what so ever. Like he feels nothing when he's ended a relationship. I think girls feel guilty for ending relationships even when they know for a fact they are not in love with the guy, they beat themselves up for being mean, or wrong, or insensative etc....even when the relationship was wrong for them. Just a question. Link to post Share on other sites
stlnsmile Posted June 27, 2008 Share Posted June 27, 2008 Hmm..right now i feel like crap. I keep wishing she would call me again and say she made a mistake and she does want me back.. but i know its not going to happen. I really wish she never would have called me in the first place or else i wouldnt feel so sad again I really don't get why ex's do this...just to see if you still care. I mean whats the point and what does it matter. Do they really need an ego boost that bad? Im sorry she called you. Next time I think you know better than to talk to her if she does call, because obviously it will be more of the same. I hope for your sake she is not one of those serial callers, who keep bugging there ex's even though they don't want to be with them. I really really am grateful my ex never did that to me. It made it so much easier to let go. Link to post Share on other sites
Author blaze5 Posted June 27, 2008 Author Share Posted June 27, 2008 i dont know why they do that, maybe sometimes their intent wasnt to hurt you but to try and convert you from someone who doesnt like them into their friend so they can use you.. Use you as someone to talk to when they are feeling down or have problems.. but..in a few ways im sort of glad i rejected her offer of friendship, it really would have caused me more pain, i really did love her and would have worked hard to fix things between us but...well i guess i will never know. It hurts in some ways not having her anymore, but it is getting better now.. i think Link to post Share on other sites
stlnsmile Posted June 27, 2008 Share Posted June 27, 2008 Hey, check your email:) Link to post Share on other sites
stlnsmile Posted June 27, 2008 Share Posted June 27, 2008 Ha, one more view on this post and you'll have 2000 blaze5, ha! Link to post Share on other sites
Dolorian Posted June 27, 2008 Share Posted June 27, 2008 I think the reason why this thread has so many views is that everyone who just got out a relationship wonders what the ex is up to. I'm still struggling and I feel like I still depend on my ex. She calls or text me everyday and wants us to be close friends. But how is that possible? I think she's somewhat manipulative and just wants me as the go-to-guy. She has been talking to her ex while we were in our breaking up phase and now she sees him once or twice in a week. Of course, I want to know how and what they are doing, but it's none of my business. She told me several times that she just doesn't know what she wants right now, but it's clear to me that she just wants him back. Honestly, it pisses me off to no end. I gave her everything and was ready to sacrifice a lot for her, and yet I feel like she cares more about him than she ever did about me. I don't even understand why she is hanging on to him so much. She told me they have similar personalities but he has his own mind so she could never be in a committed relationship. Every time she dated someone, she always ditched the guy for him, so now I feel like I'm one of those guys and that's just not cool. He's going to China for two months now, so maybe she can use the time away from him to figure out what she really wants out of her life. I won't be there for her, maybe as a friend. I know I should go on with my life, there are plenty of fish in the ocean, but I can't help but be angry about this whole situation. Link to post Share on other sites
Author blaze5 Posted June 27, 2008 Author Share Posted June 27, 2008 Things like that if it doesnt hurt you or make you sad it makes you angry.. i know i was feeling all of them when i found out but day by day i tried not to think about it and i started to forget all about her.. it was nice until she called me Link to post Share on other sites
stlnsmile Posted June 28, 2008 Share Posted June 28, 2008 Why is it the ones who are always so willing to sacrifice for love are always the ones that are stepped on? Does that mean we should all be selfish and only think of ourselves, and then we will keep the people that we love? I mean should I really only ever think about myself inside of a relationship and outside of a relationship too. I never wanted the world to be that way. You know, look out for #1. Thats just not me. I am way to compasionate for that. Do I really only have a future where everyone is only looking out for #1 in it? It sucks to think about, it sucks to think the world is that way. I don't want a relationship like that. Where I only think of myself. It makes me sick to think about. I am just trying to keep my hopes up that there are people out there who care about others as much as I do, and that I will find that person. Someone who does not lie. Doesn't lie about their feelings, doesn't hide cr**, doesn't only care about themselves. Who actually loves me for me, and wants to be with me and who is willing to work through hard stuff. Is that too much to ask? Link to post Share on other sites
Dolorian Posted June 29, 2008 Share Posted June 29, 2008 Why is it the ones who are always so willing to sacrifice for love are always the ones that are stepped on? Does that mean we should all be selfish and only think of ourselves, and then we will keep the people that we love? I mean should I really only ever think about myself inside of a relationship and outside of a relationship too. I never wanted the world to be that way. You know, look out for #1. Thats just not me. I am way to compasionate for that. Do I really only have a future where everyone is only looking out for #1 in it? It sucks to think about, it sucks to think the world is that way. I don't want a relationship like that. Where I only think of myself. It makes me sick to think about. I am just trying to keep my hopes up that there are people out there who care about others as much as I do, and that I will find that person. Someone who does not lie. Doesn't lie about their feelings, doesn't hide cr**, doesn't only care about themselves. Who actually loves me for me, and wants to be with me and who is willing to work through hard stuff. Is that too much to ask? Right on. Thought I found somebody like it, just to be..like you said..stepped on. Link to post Share on other sites
Author blaze5 Posted June 29, 2008 Author Share Posted June 29, 2008 ever since she called i have a harder time sleeping at night again and when i think about not having her anymore i get a pain in my chest.. makes me wonder if she even cared at all Link to post Share on other sites
AnLandy Posted June 30, 2008 Share Posted June 30, 2008 I am totally certain that their are still nice guys in the world. I broke my engagement to one last night. He was a really nice man with a lot of wonderful qualities. He just wasn't right for me. To be frank, I was bored to death. He is a total sweetie who brought me flowers and told me that he loved me all of the time. He was faithful and considerate. However, he just wanted a life that didn't fit with mine. All he wanted to do was lie around, watch T.V., surf the Internet, and bowl three nights a week. His life was about routine. I wanted more. Link to post Share on other sites
stlnsmile Posted June 30, 2008 Share Posted June 30, 2008 Isn't that the way it always is. The spark dies. Im not going to beat up on you for breaking off something if you really think thats what you needed to do. I assume after a long time together you know whether or not he was willing to change if you asked him to. I personally would not break up with someone because I was boared, I would just go find a way to entertain myself while being with someone I cared about. I think its the excitement seekers who always do this. They don't realize sometimes in life you have to seperate from the person you are with enough, to do the things that make you happy, while still respecting the relationship. I have a feeling in your case, you are not in love with him at all, and that is the real issue. My mom and dad have a lot of routine in their lives, but for example my dad goes fishing and my mom goes horse back ridding, both hobbies the other hates, but they are secure in their relationship, so there is no need to try to please the other, they do as they please, what makes them happy, and love each other at the same time. But they love each other, the relationship is worth it to them. They don't have to be the same they have to be happy with themselves and each other. My mom on the other side, would never want to be with anyone but my dad. He makes her happy, he still gives her flowers and takes her on dates and trips, they work really hard to keep romance alive. I pray to God I have a marriage like theirs. They really are best friends. Link to post Share on other sites
stlnsmile Posted June 30, 2008 Share Posted June 30, 2008 ever since she called i have a harder time sleeping at night again and when i think about not having her anymore i get a pain in my chest.. makes me wonder if she even cared at all So sorry Blaze, I know, I really do....I still have that pain, but most days its not there now. I only is when I have that feeling, like "wow, I can't believe he did that, how could he do that", now that goes away in about a minute and I don't even let myself go there anymore. Maybe they didn't care, maybe they did some, but not enough, but again, why wait for someone who is that unsure of themselves. That would lie about their feelings etc...its just not worth it to you. Link to post Share on other sites
stlnsmile Posted June 30, 2008 Share Posted June 30, 2008 I am totally certain that their are still nice guys in the world. I broke my engagement to one last night. He was a really nice man with a lot of wonderful qualities. He just wasn't right for me. To be frank, I was bored to death. He is a total sweetie who brought me flowers and told me that he loved me all of the time. He was faithful and considerate. However, he just wanted a life that didn't fit with mine. All he wanted to do was lie around, watch T.V., surf the Internet, and bowl three nights a week. His life was about routine. I wanted more. So why didn't you go do more all by yourself. Why were you waiting for him to do it with you, maybe he didn't like that...do you need your partner there for everything in your life? Or where you just not attracted to him anymore and want new blood. People need to be honest. Link to post Share on other sites
YoMamma Posted June 30, 2008 Share Posted June 30, 2008 Why is it the ones who are always so willing to sacrifice for love are always the ones that are stepped on? Does that mean we should all be selfish and only think of ourselves, and then we will keep the people that we love? I mean should I really only ever think about myself inside of a relationship and outside of a relationship too. I never wanted the world to be that way. You know, look out for #1. Thats just not me. I am way to compasionate for that. Do I really only have a future where everyone is only looking out for #1 in it? It sucks to think about, it sucks to think the world is that way. I don't want a relationship like that. Where I only think of myself. It makes me sick to think about. I am just trying to keep my hopes up that there are people out there who care about others as much as I do, and that I will find that person. Someone who does not lie. Doesn't lie about their feelings, doesn't hide cr**, doesn't only care about themselves. Who actually loves me for me, and wants to be with me and who is willing to work through hard stuff. Is that too much to ask? Bravo! Nicely put! Why do nice guys/girls finish last? Why are WE the ones that are hurting? Makes no freakin' sense to me, we are the ones who care. And caring sucks. Unfortunately people suck What I am thinking is... why can't I find someone who thinks similar to this??? I will do anything and everything for the person I love and I expect that in return, I mean that's fair right? To have it all, you have to give it your all! Selfish people and selfless people do not mix. Again, this is a lovely quote, matches me to a T! I am totally certain that their are still nice guys in the world. I broke my engagement to one last night. He was a really nice man with a lot of wonderful qualities. He just wasn't right for me. To be frank, I was bored to death. He is a total sweetie who brought me flowers and told me that he loved me all of the time. He was faithful and considerate. However, he just wanted a life that didn't fit with mine. All he wanted to do was lie around, watch T.V., surf the Internet, and bowl three nights a week. His life was about routine. I wanted more. DOH! You serious? NOOOO!!! I wouldn't be surprised if we find him lurking on here at LS... but honey you are entitled to be happy and if you were not happy, then it is best to leave. Just... maybe you should have talked to him and invite him to try new things together first? And heck if he didn't want to, then go with your friends! Do NOT let a good man go! Where can I find one like him? Link to post Share on other sites
Dolorian Posted June 30, 2008 Share Posted June 30, 2008 So I just found out she is seeing her ex right now. She actually told me. Thanks for throwing everything I ever did to make you happy in the garbage (even as your friend). She told me in a text that she just wanted to be friends with me and what do I expect? I expect that you don't go back to your f*ckin ex. That hurts even more. Some other guy I understand, move one etc etc, but your ex? She always used to date someone and then leave that guy for him. Thanks for making me one of those guys. AAAAAAHHHHHHRRRRRGGGGHHHH!!! Flaky b*tch! Link to post Share on other sites
Author blaze5 Posted July 1, 2008 Author Share Posted July 1, 2008 funny how those of us guys who are considered the "good guys" always seem to get our hearts broken, asked to be just friends and if you do manage to be friends you feel like you were screwed over. It sucks, and its just really uncool..seriously. i know Ex's can never be "Just Friends". I just dont get why some girls do that.. Link to post Share on other sites
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