Pregnant and very scared. Should I tell husband yet?

[NoIDidn't]

He was planning for one ever since our third was born but didn't get around to it in time.

 

 

Are you sure you aren't my other sign on? LOL.

 

This is EXACTLY what happened to us. But at least he still got it. And I am glad.

 

Our fourth child is fitting in just fine. No worries. Just lots of love from everyone - strangers included.

 

I was all stressed out and worried for nothing. And so were you.

 

Congratulations!

[angie2443]

Are you sure you aren't my other sign on? LOL.

 

This is EXACTLY what happened to us. But at least he still got it. And I am glad.

 

Our fourth child is fitting in just fine. No worries. Just lots of love from everyone - strangers included.

 

I was all stressed out and worried for nothing. And so were you.

 

Congratulations!

 

Thanks so much:). Again, your post has made me feel better about this.

[Sks]

If you can't handle the kids you have, you have no right to create another.

 

If abortion is the solution, its what needs to be done.

[Sks]

That is a judgment that only she can make, and her rights to create another are God given. While I agree that if children are born to an unemployed, with no prospects, waiting on someone else to care for them individual should consider sterilization. A married couple has every right to decide for themselves how many children they wish to have.

 

Yea they do, its just not my problem. They shouldn't get any tax breaks or benefits just because they were irresponsible. Do what ever you want but live up to the consequences.

 

The vast majority of people I see with more then two kids usually are on the lower end of the wealth spectrum.

[NoIDidn't]

Yea they do, its just not my problem. They shouldn't get any tax breaks or benefits just because they were irresponsible. Do what ever you want but live up to the consequences.

 

The vast majority of people I see with more then two kids usually are on the lower end of the wealth spectrum.

 

While you are free to your opinion, comes off very ignorantly. Ignorant as in uninformed, not as in stupid for clarification.

 

I have four children. Before the fourth was conceived, I too, decided that I could barely handle the three that I already have. Its a lot of work. Sometimes I just didn't want to do it. Besides the usual restrictions of movement with a newborn, four kids feels like three. I already have tons of laundry and homework to help with. I already invest emotionally into my kids. So having my fourth doesn't change any of that. Slows me down some, but certainly doesn't count me out.

 

I can't speak to Angie's sitch, but my family is nowhere near the lower end of the wealth spectrum (nowhere near the top either, but I suspect most people on this board are in the middle too). I really feel sorry for those whose main argument concerning children is about tax breaks and benefits. Makes them seem bitter and jealous.

 

I don't imagine married couples with two or more kids and the tax bennies that come with to be upset that a small business owner gets tax cuts associated with their chosen lifestyle as well. Just seems to me that if the main problem is because children add tax deductions, maybe those with that objection should find a tax situation suitable to their tastes to even things out.

 

Angie, PM me if you like. You are in for a long ride with this pregnancy. It was my most challenging but worth it in every way with the lessons my older kids and I learned along the way.

[OWoman]

The vast majority of people I see with more then two kids usually are on the lower end of the wealth spectrum.

 

Maybe you should get out more?

[MJTig]

He was planning for one ever since our third was born but didn't get around to it in time.

 

We've had a history of both him and I viewing any problem or stressful situation in our relationship as my fault. I've done a lot of work to change this and he has also, although I think he is a little bit resistant to this change because it benifits him to not have to take responsibility for any of the problems. In his defense, he has come a very long way from where he was when we first got together. We were both very young and immature. I just grew up faster when I first became pregnant. He's taking a little longer.

 

I applaud him for making changes.. and yes of course it is easier for him to blame you for everything. But the first quote right there shows that because he "didn't get around to it" you are in this predicament.

 

I would almost not have sex until you have the report in your hand that his sperm count is zero after his vasectomy that he is getting now.

[Trialbyfire]

Ange, how have things been going with your H?

[NoIDidn't]

I applaud him for making changes.. and yes of course it is easier for him to blame you for everything. But the first quote right there shows that because he "didn't get around to it" you are in this predicament.

 

I would almost not have sex until you have the report in your hand that his sperm count is zero after his vasectomy that he is getting now.

 

 

I agree. My H got his scheduled surgery when I was still in my first trimester. He was thinking about cancelling it but I told him, if you think number four is a shocker just wait until you hear about number five.

 

THAT motivated him. My H said to me that he couldn't blame me for getting pregnant, he helped. Blaming a W for getting pregnant when you are having sex with her (and you aren't using any protection, that is) is like blaming a child for getting dirty when you let them play in mud.

 

But no regrets. Apparently, we were meant to have four children. But no more for me. I had just lost all the weight from number three and was working on losing the weight from number two!!!! LOL!

[Trialbyfire]

Cost of a vasectomy might be what's slowing down the process. Not everyone has the appropriate medical insurance or disposable income.

[angie2443]

Ange, how have things been going with your H?

 

 

Much better! I think he just needed time to come to terms with things. He can be immature and other negative things at times, but he has come a long way and he does keep improving.

 

That bieng said, he isn't going to think this pregnancy is completely real untill a doctor confirms it. All we have now is a positive test and two missed periods. We'll both know for sure on the 7th of july when they give me an u/s to date the pregnancy.

[angie2443]

I would almost not have sex until you have the report in your hand that his sperm count is zero after his vasectomy that he is getting now.

 

This made me laugh because our MC that we were sieng when I was still pregnant with our third said the same thing basically. I never knew till then that it takes time for the vasectomy to kick in, so to speak.

[Geishawhelk]

.....rights to create another are God given.

 

I'm sorry, but this is utter nonsense.

 

The 'rights' to procreate are biological, and have nothing to do with Religion.

 

Marriage and fidelity are socially imposed strictures, they don't come naturally. Human beings are, (even at the top of the food chain) mammals, animals, if you will, like many others. The urges we get are natural and basic. All the remaining kerfuffle is something we have becomed accustomed to accepting as the norm, through conditioning, education and social and cultural mores.....

The Right to create is not God-given. if you want to tke it religiously and biblically, procreation is recommended in the scriptures. But bearing a child is not a god-given right. There are countless thousands of devout christian, godly couples who are either barren, or childless through no fault of their own. They might be encouraged to 'go forth and multiply' but there's no God-given guarantee they will actually be successful.

 

So let's keep on topic, shall we?