I heard from Denver guy

[tinke]

As someone mentioned earlier, I too, believe this is entertaining for you also A. Maybe you and DG need to fuel up on attention. As you do not seem to take anyone seriously here, for the third time.....what is your purpose for posting?

You said you do not hear what is said, only defend him. Well quite honestly, why initiate a thread such as this, with closed ears. By the way, here is my situation, my fantasy, I refuse to try to look at things differently, I am left out, but he is my hero.

 

 

What are you getting out of posting here? There must be a gain for you!

[OpenBook]

I haven't been this hooked on a soap opera since Luke & Laura got married on General Hospital.

[whichwayisup]

DG is using A for an ego feed. She believes he's inlove with her as much as she's inlove with him. His exgf posted and told us what a real creepy loser he was and she broke up with him. A found out DG and W broke up, emailed him, he emailed back, after 2 years of her not hearing from him. The emails were very non personal, weather and work chat. A asked him about the breakup and he has been silent ever since.

 

She's been obsessed and fantasizing about this guy for many years and he is NOT inlove with her, yet she won't see this. She is his ego feed, even W said that about him.

 

The rest you know...

 

So, what kind of advice would you now tell A? TO tell her to go for it and continue loving and adoring a man who isn't into her, or tell her to get some help, counselling and learn to handle this obsession and detach so she can find real love with a real man face to face.

[Citizen Erased]

I haven't been this hooked on a soap opera since Luke & Laura got married on General Hospital.

 

Did it turn out they were brother and sister?

[Trialbyfire]

I really, really hope that Ariadne can move off this obsessive fantasy, one that's greatly affected her life in such a negative way. It's sad.

[Touche]

DG is using A for an ego feed. She believes he's inlove with her as much as she's inlove with him. His exgf posted and told us what a real creepy loser he was and she broke up with him. A found out DG and W broke up, emailed him, he emailed back, after 2 years of her not hearing from him. The emails were very non personal, weather and work chat. A asked him about the breakup and he has been silent ever since.

 

She's been obsessed and fantasizing about this guy for many years and he is NOT inlove with her, yet she won't see this. She is his ego feed, even W said that about him.

 

The rest you know...

 

So, what kind of advice would you now tell A? TO tell her to go for it and continue loving and adoring a man who isn't into her, or tell her to get some help, counselling and learn to handle this obsession and detach so she can find real love with a real man face to face.

 

Are you kidding me? I mean you need to be asking him questions about decorating and how to get your tight ass into a pair of jeans that are two sizes too small.

 

If you're asking him to actually contribute some advice on the topic at hand, well you're barking up the wrong treehouse...err I mean tree.

[whichwayisup]

I just thought I'd give a quick rundown of the thread. JUST INCASE GEP is actually a real poster and has good intentions...Remember, this thread is about fantasy and fiction. Right?

[whichwayisup]

I really, really hope that Ariadne can move off this obsessive fantasy, one that's greatly affected her life in such a negative way. It's sad.

 

I hope so too. But, until she is ready to let go of this fantasy and obsession she has, and wants to be happy without having to rely on a 'fake' man who really doesn't exist, except in her mind, all we can do is try to get her to see this in a different light and be here for her when reality does hit and the walls come crashing down.

[Trialbyfire]

I hope so too. But, until she is ready to let go of this fantasy and obsession she has, and wants to be happy without having to rely on a 'fake' man who really doesn't exist, except in her mind, all we can do is try to get her to see this in a different light and be here for her when reality does hit and the walls come crashing down.

I totally agree with you. When you hold onto a cartoon fantasy man, I will hate to see the fall-out after she realizes how many years she's wasted, years she could have been with a real live man.

 

Regardless, if everyone is around when this happens, we'll be here for her.

[OpenBook]

I hope so too. But, until she is ready to let go of this fantasy and obsession she has, and wants to be happy without having to rely on a 'fake' man who really doesn't exist, except in her mind, all we can do is try to get her to see this in a different light and be here for her when reality does hit and the walls come crashing down.

 

And she gets served with lawsuit papers for slander.

[Touche]

And she gets served with lawsuit papers for slander.

 

Another one who doesn't understand the laws.

[Ariadne]

DG is using A for an ego feed. She believes he's inlove with her as much as she's inlove with him.

 

That was a good wrap up WWIU.

 

And yeah, in my fantasy everything fits and if it doesn't I just make it so.

 

All has a perfectly logical explanation that I believe.

 

My fantasy is real good.

[Ariadne]

Ariadne, no advice to give. I just hope that you can be happy.

 

Thank you and welcome to LS.

 

People are seeing double here. Don't worry about it. This thread has been bizarre.

[Ocean-Blue]

Ariadne:

 

Are you satisfied with how things are? DG isn't your lover. He is someone you lust for from afar. He has not really done or said anything substantial to indicate that these intense feelings are reciprocal.

 

Maybe you like this? This strange, fantasy love. I mean, he can't hurt you or disappoint you if he remains a fantasy lover, right? So perhaps this is how you want things...you CHOOSE to feel for someone who can't (or doesn't want) to be in a relationship with you.

 

Maybe it's not about stars and soul mates...perhaps you chose him precisely b/c you knew he would never return your affections.

 

Whatever it is, you don't seem to be too sad. You seem to be enjoying this. If this makes you happy, to be stuck in this narrow world of short-lived highs and pathetic letdowns, so be it. It's your life and your reality.

[tinke]

As suspected A., you really can't give a purpose for this thread...maybe just attention!

Obviously, you debate everything said. So why would you even post all this?

 

If your story is true, then you are out of touch with reality...living in lala land which becomes consuming. Seek professional help!

This is all too much................

wishing you well

[Ariadne]

Whatever it is, you don't seem to be too sad. You seem to be enjoying this. If this makes you happy, to be stuck in this narrow world of short-lived highs and pathetic letdowns, so be it. It's your life and your reality.

 

Yeah,

 

Finding true love in RL is like the hardest thing "ever".

 

All a matter of chance, one in a million.

 

So might as well fabricate the perfect love in my mind.

 

I had a glimpse of it and I don't want to let go.

 

Thanks, and good to see you again.

[Ocean-Blue]

Yeah,

 

Finding true love in RL is like the hardest thing "ever".

 

All a matter of chance, one in a million.

 

So might as well fabricate the perfect love in my mind.

 

I had a glimpse of it and I don't want to let go.

 

Thanks, and good to see you again.

 

Sometimes, it's hard to read your posts - I don't know what is sincere and what is meant to be facetious...

 

But I'll take what you say at face value.

 

What you are saying is that this man is NOT the "perfect love"...he's merely a convenience; he's something to suit your apparent "whatever" with going out there and finding it (or opening yourself to the possibility of it finding you).

 

Do you care to get over this? Do you want to be able to feel for someone else? Or are you happy with loving this essentially fictional character you've created? You string together words from here and there, add your interpretations and assumptions and create a wholly warped reality to suit yourself.

 

So, are you happy with this? Satisfied? Fulfilled? Is it meaningful to you?

 

And it's good to see you too, Ariadne.

[whichwayisup]

I had a glimpse of it and I don't want to let go.

 

But A, by letting go of DG means that you can find real face to face love with a man who actually HAS fallen inlove with you, not someone who you "think" is inlove with you, or wishes he was and needs to make up a fantasy about it to please herself...

 

I truly hope someday soon you go back and re-read this thread, as well as afew of your others and let what we're saying sink in..

 

Anyway, goodnight and sorry for going offtopic on your thread.

[bebos]

This is probably the wrong time to stick my head into this thread, given that another unfamiliar voice just chimed in and is lacking credibility.

 

That being said, I started reading this tread yesterday, and have read every post from the beginning until now. I'm amazed at the insight and care each poster has lent to the discussion. I finally feel like I have something to add, so I'm going to.

 

In my experience, obsession has been a symptom of something missing inside of me, more than anything having to do with the object of my affection (who, btw, had dark sides that rivaled DG's). I've actually used the word "spiritual" to describe my connection to someone before, because it seemed so profound.

 

I have been attracted to many broken souls. Two doozies. And that's why I'm chiming in.

 

Ariadne, folks on this board keep pointing to things DG is doing and trying to convince you that he's not interested and you're chasing a dream that will never come true. They're doing a great job, too.

 

But you're so into the fantasy that all 5 bazillion posts are falling on deaf ears. You clearly need the fantasy of DG. I've been there. I get it. (To be honest, though, I've never taken it to the extreme you have, sending photos and driving 1200 miles).

 

My advice to you is this: recognize that it's not DG you're pining for. Your situation has nothing to do with him. It has more to do with something inside of you that NEEDS someone like him in your life, and to keep the hope alive that someday you might have the unattainable love you're wishing for. I suspect that if you caught him, you'd be disappointed in who he is and what he can't give you.

 

The fact that you acknowlede the need for the fantasy is interesting to me. I've been there, too.

 

But obsession is like any addiction. It's harmful like any drug, and has already stolen parts of your life you can't get back again (jobs & dignity lost, to name two).

 

If you're interested in helping yourself, think about obsession as an addiction to a drug or drinking or food or gambling. Its purpose is to fill an emptiness inside, and to distract you from demons that are too scary.

 

Does this sound familiar? Do you feel like maybe you have a need that is bigger than anyone can fill, even DG?

[Ariadne]

Hey,

 

What you are saying is that this man is NOT the "perfect love"...he's merely a convenience; he's something to suit your apparent "whatever" with going out there and finding it (or opening yourself to the possibility of it finding you).

 

Well, the only reason why he fails to be the perfect love is because I can't have him.

 

Other than that he is the perfect love.

 

Do you care to get over this? Do you want to be able to feel for someone else? Or are you happy with loving this essentially fictional character you've created?

 

I never created a fictional character of him.

 

And no, I don't care to get over this.

 

If I get over this it will be by itself.

 

And every time I see guys is like I'm seeing a puppy or something.

 

Their eyes don't do it for me like DG's eyes.

 

So, are you happy with this? Satisfied? Fulfilled? Is it meaningful to you?

 

Well, what can you do.

[Ariadne]

But A, by letting go of DG means that you can find real face to face love with a man who actually HAS fallen inlove with you.

 

Well, that is a part of the problem with this.

 

Other men died for me.

 

Is like I'm ruined forever and stuck to this fantasy that he loves me but he can't be with me.

[Trialbyfire]

Other men died for me.

Can you plse explain this?

[Ocean-Blue]

OK, you like his eyes. No one else's can compare. Yet.

 

What else?

 

What is it about HIM that makes you this way?

 

I find it interesting that we label unrequited love as "obsessive" but call that same type of love "passion", etc. when it is reciprocated.

 

The fact is, he doesn't feel the way you want him to feel about you. You seem to have accepted that things may never change. You are happy with what little scraps he throws your way.

 

Like others have said, how do you know that this illusion of his perfection will not be shattered should you get to really know him?

 

How can you know him well enough to say you "love" him? Do you know him in that everyday, boring way? Have you held him as he cried? Have you two shared a laugh at the most silliest of things?

 

I ask this because your experience with him is limited. Yet, you claim to love him. How is that?

 

How do you know this isn't a case of lust? Methinks you want him with such ardent lust because he isn't yours.

 

You are a chaser. And you like it.

 

Don't you get lonely at night?

[vivrantflo]

As suspected A., you really can't give a purpose for this thread...maybe just attention!

Obviously, you debate everything said. So why would you even post all this?

 

 

I second this....

[Ariadne]

Hi,

 

But you're so into the fantasy that all 5 bazillion posts are falling on deaf ears.

 

I'm usually like that. I rarely listen to anybody.

 

I just go with what I feel.

 

If you're interested in helping yourself, think about obsession as an addiction to a drug or drinking or food or gambling. Its purpose is to fill an emptiness inside, and to distract you from demons that are too scary.

 

Yes, just like that.

 

I've been fired before from jobs/ flunked school because of my all consuming obsessions. Not in the case with DG though.

 

But in a way, having this fantasy has moderated me in a way. Because it's calm and doesn't take much time and it's all up to me.

 

Does this sound familiar? Do you feel like maybe you have a need that is bigger than anyone can fill, even DG?"

 

To tell you the truth, all my relationships have been crap. So that would be all new territory and I don't know how it'd fit in my head if I actually "had" DG.

 

Thanks for your post and welcome to LS.